Skate House Approved

A show of hands at the city planning board meeting was all it took to approve the new skate house for White"s Park. Dave Gill made the presentation to a packed house of more than a dozen citizens (one of which was just passing through town and stopped to ask for directions to get back on I-93). Gill first showed the group the original design (pictured top right). The plan proposed a 35,000 square foot facility which would have a grand central hall that could seat up 2,500 people with central air and seven gas fire places. The central hall would be surrounded by ice skating amenities such as a skate rental shop (with a Mr. Curtis impersonator), a hot chocolate/expresso bar, a fitness room, eight locker rooms,a hockey equipment store with 5 skate sharpening machines(with a Donnie Burke impersonator), a Zamboni parts store, a yoga center, a Japanese-style massage parlor and transgender bathrooms. The second level would have luxury boxes for watching the Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament in the winter and The Bass Masters Carp Fishing Derby in the summer. There will also be a shopping mall which will include luxury boutiques, fine restaurants and a Super Cimmo's Market. Other amenities will feature an indoor waterfall, escalators, The Black Ice Hockey Hall of Fame, an Imax surround theatre and a helicopter landing pad on the roof. The city estimates this will cost the city roughly $4,500,000. with the other half of the cost provided by Black Ice Pond Hockey donations. Many residents were opposed to the plan as being overly ambitious and not being in line with Concord's historical tradition. Mary "No" Deal said that she thought "the city was making a deal with the devil by accepting donations from Black Ice". She claimed that she "has inside information" that "the city would allow the Black Ice Pond Hockey Association to have tournaments every weekend from Halloween through Easter using an underwater refrigeration system that was to be installed in the bottom of the pond." Black Ice board member Dan "Lucky" Luker responded by saying, "I know that I'm only working one weekend of the year no matter how much Black Ice Ale they offer me". Another resident stated his concern was that the skate house may lead to a decline in the red winged black bird population by infringing on their habitat. He said, "I would like to see just a nice simple bird house put up where the old skate house used to be". Still others cited the need for a nature preserve that would eliminate buildings all together so buffalo could once again roam the park like they did before Mr. and Mrs. White gave up drinking. In any case; a second plan was presented that was more modest in scale. It quickly met the approval of almost all those present who had no interest in ice hockey. This plan proposed the scaled down facility to be placed on the site of the current skate house facility overlooking the pond from the southwestern shore. The second plan was approved and the meeting was quickly adjourned before Dan Arndt knew what hit him. For the hockey community, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

The Back-to-School Issue

Its that time of year when we put away the fishing rods and put on our pocket protectors. If reading is fundamental then reading The Pucking Files is fundamentally important to fending off the onslaught of Alzheimer's disease, dementia and gout. In a survey taken by the National Association of School Teaching Institutions (NASTI), it found that people who read The Pucking Files were able to raise their IQ by an average of three points. The study also found that people who read the Concord Monitor were found with a drop in their IQ by an average of four points. It concluded that if a person were to read both The Pucking Files and the Concord Monitor then their IQ remained approximately the same. However, if a person read any articles by Ray Duckler then they already had dementia.
It won't be long before the puck drops for the opening night of the NAHL. The season will start with a rematch of last season's two finalist Blue and Green. Often referred to as "the greatest rivalry in sports", the Doug will be packed to the rafters once again as these two giants go head to head. It's time for a little history lesson. What many people don't know is that this rivalry is also the "oldest rivalry in sports" dating all the way back to the Byzantine Empire. This is true! You can look it up in any history book, but, you don't have to because The Pucking Files is the best source for information on important matters since information was first invented. After the decline of Rome in the third century,the Roman empire moved it's capitol to Constantinople (which is now Istanbul). The Romans brought their passion for sporting events that had entertained the citizens in Rome's infamous Coliseum. The Byzantines built their own mega-stadium called the Hippodrome. It was here that chariot racing reached a peak of fanaticism among the citizens of Constantinople. Two sporting clubs became so popular that they even had important political allegiances in the Byzantine capitol. These two rival factions were known as The Blues and The Greens. This is true and you'll find it in the history books as well as The Pucking Files (which is essentially better than the history books). At the height of the Byzantine Empire in 532 A.D. the rivalry became so heated that a riot broke out between the fans of the Blues and the Greens. It became so violent that the Emperor Justinian feared for his life. He ordered his army to quell the rioting fans and by the time it was over thirty thousand people lay dead in the Hippodrome. Justinian banned the Blue and Green sporting clubs from the Byzantine empire and chariot racing was also banned. Stories of the great rivalry spread throughout Europe in the middle ages. Eventually these accounts made their way to the Americas. It wasn't until the year 1882 that the flames of that ancient rivalry were rekindled on a frozen pond in Concord, NH. Since that first unorganized game, the rivalry has become heated yet again. "The Doug" has replaced the Hippodrome; Skates have replaced chariots, but the passions remain the same. Blue hates Green and Green hates Blue. Many times the Concord PD have been called to "The Doug" to restore peace on Thursday nights. Mayor Jim Boulay has often considered banning hockey, much like Emperor Justinian did back in 532. It seems that the mayor decided that it is better to keep the bloodshed inside "The Doug" than to let it spill into the streets of Concord, which it surely would do, if he were to ban the Blue/Green rivalry. City officials reached an agreement to close the arena doors to the "brutal sport of hockey" for half of the year in order to appease those citizens who prefer a more genteel form of entertainment (i.e.. the Cat Show, the Gem Show, the Model Train Show). Even the Gun Show was found to promote less violence than the Blue/Green rivalry. Senator Kelly Ayotte said, "I would prefer guns in the hands of citizens rather than hockey sticks." That statement will probably cost her the election since Blue and Green have such far-reaching political clout.
So, now that you've been schooled on the history of the Blue/Green rivalry; Go out an prove how smart you are by purchasing a season ticket to Thursday Night Hockey.

NAHL 2016-17 Season Preview

The oldest hockey league in the United States;the NAHL will open up it's 133rd season on October 20th. The premier game of the night will feature Blue versus Green. It is often referred to as "the best rivalry in sports". This match- up dates back to 1883 when these two storied franchises played the first ever unorganized hockey game in the United States. Back then it was Black versus White; in the era before color was invented. Black eventually became Blue and White became Green. Since then some of the greatest players of all time have been inducted into The Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame. This year will be no different as the Hall is prepared to induct the largest class since it's inception.

Here is the list of players that will be welcomed into the Legends Hall this year. Dan "Lucky" Luker, Tom "Duster" Dustin, Greg "Moose" Moffett, Dan "Too Late" Early, Jeff "Hurricane" Kane, Brian "Big Tilly" Tillotson, Kenny "Don't You Love Em Madly" Bradley, Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean, Clint "Eastwood" Cassavaugh, Chris "Brownie" Brown will be joining previous inductees Joe Farrelly, Jim Heath, Dave Tillotson, George Chase, Kurt Gillies, Greg Fournier, Vic Stanfield, Steve Potozak, Tom Carroll, Dave Palisi, Tom Bourgault, Toe Blake, Todd Philbrick, Tom Philbrick, Tom Champagne, Andy Bachmann, Ryan Brandt, Chris McGloughlin, Dunc Walsh, Mike Farrelly, Brian Smith, Jim Commerford and Tom Harrison. Everyone is looking forward to this year's induction ceremony. *Because of the unusually large induction class, players speeches must be limited to three sentences starting out with, "Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth". Due to time restraints, inductees may only thank one of the their parents. Under no circumstance are they to mention Tom Walton as a coach who helped them achieve their dream. Failure to mention Joe "Joe" Farrelly is an automatic one game suspension. Also, any player who refuses to stand for the National Anthem will be banished to the CCHL. It is our hopes that a scantily clad female model will hand out the awards, however, a fat guy without pants may possibly hand them out. Tickets for the event will go on sale on October 1rst.

Stuffing the Turkey

The Pilgrims may not have been thinking about hockey when they sat down for the first Thanksgiving, but we are thankful for the great tradition of Thanksgiving morning hockey at the Doug. It brings together people from as diverse cultures as the NAHL, the CCHL and the NCAA. The stands were packed for the holiday showdown. Mike Hayes told us that he stood in line all night in order to see the event. "I'm thankful to be able to get a ticket to this game", Hayes said. "The pace of the game is phenomenal and the skill level is through the roof", he explained. "The Thanksgiving morning game is like getting right to the dessert before the main course", said Tom "Philby" Philbrick. Tom skated on the All-Philby line which was a force all game long. Todd Philbrick cooked his famous chicken wings in the Doug parking lot. Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies was equal to the task with his barbeque ribs. By the time the players returned home, the Detroit Lions had already scored three touchdowns.
Black Friday is the day that all the new Black Ice apparel goes on sale. This year Black Ice apparel features a new line of lingerie. It's sure to be a big seller.