The Perfect Storm Capsizes Blue

Weather forecasters have been telling us that the conditions may be right for the "perfect storm" and New England should brace itself. The Weather Channel was telling us that they predict Hurricane "Sandy" will hit the northeast on monday or tuesday. Last night started off just like every other Thursday night at "The Doug", the usual; Tilly shuffling the deck, TC and Heathy showing up after the first shift, ect. Phil "the Whistle" Lacasse was back in zebra stripes after undergoing cataract surgery that kept him in the dark all month. When Phil dropped the puck at center ice all seemed "normal". Philby won the puck and Blue went on the attack. Green weathered the storm and headed up ice and just like that; Hurricane Sandy barreled into Team Blue and their lights went out. In just over a minute Green had four on the board. On a night that marked the return of the straight bladed wooden stick, it became quite obvious that was not going to keep the wind and rain out of the Blue net. It's the age of kevlar and banana hooks. Green scored early and often in one of the most pathetic routes in the seventy year history of the NAHL. The guys in Emerald routed Blue 14-4. It was the worst loss in Blue franchise history dating back to World War II. "I wish I was never born", lamented Dunc "Coach" Walsh. "What the ef was that?, exclaimed Jim "Heathy" Heath. While coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson was on the phone with FEMA, the Green wind pounded the Blue goal. Blue decided that they should board up their goal, so they brought in Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradly to try to turn back the tide. Bradley replaced beleaguered backstop Andy "Gump" Doherty who had turned aside forty four of Green's fifty one shots in the first period. Bradley came in relief with the game still close at seven to nothing. Green blew one by "Madly" and Blue realized that it may be getting to desperation time. "When you're only down by seven your goalie has to come up with a critical save to keep you in the game", explained Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly. "Being down by eight was a bit much to overcome", he added.

Green's line of "Tilly", "BTO" and "Cummy" scored regularly and Tom "Shemp" Champagne who led the second line on the score sheet. Shemp scored five goals and assisted on two more and was awarded the first star of the game. "Shemp" has now taken over the scoring lead in the NAHL over linemate Phil "Commish" Stuart who provided the lightening on the right side while Dan "Too Late" Early brought the thunder on the left. Jim "The Big Cum" Commerford received second star honors for his five goals and the third star went to Andy "BTO" Bachmann who scored three goals and added three helpers. Honorable mention went to Dave "Tilly" Tillotson who had nine assists. Blue did some soul searching and came up with a number guys to blame the loss on. Some say that it was the curse of the straight stick while others claimed that the excitement of the upcoming Halloween celebration was a distraction. GOP improbable Richard Murdock of the Tea Party had a different take on it. "It was God's will" that created the "Perfect Storm"at "The Doug". It's like rape on ice".