Hipshake Found Alive!

Hipshake being taken for medical assistance.

Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly has reportedly been found alive yesterday in the Manchurian region of China according to the Asian Social Sentinel  (also known as A.S.S), a watchdog group that reports on human rights abuses on the Asian continent. According to ASS, Farrelly was spotted walking along a mountain ridge in Manchuria by a helicopter unit of the Indian military. He is reported to be in stable condition in a hospital in Calcutta. It was reported that "Hipshake" was suffering from "symptoms of dehydration, malnutrition, hypothermia and alcohol withdrawals". He was found wearing nothing but "a parachute and knee braces". His hair, beard, fingernails and toenails were extremely long and "he seemed to be suffering from dementia", according to one Indian official. He is expected to make "something close" to a full recovery. This is great news for fans of the NAHL. His brother "Joe" is headed to India today to bring "Hipshake" back to the U.S. Still, no news on the Rudz brothers. League officials are hoping that Mike can provide them with some information as to the whereabouts of Moe and Mark Rudz.