2013; A Year to Remember or Forget

As 2013 draws to an end, we look back at the events that made headlines and made it a year to remember. We start with the 2013 Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships. There was plenty of cold weather on hand at White's Park this year. We watched as The Turkey Pond "Assholes" Flyers were scolded for not playing nice with other children. It must have had an effect on them as their docile play on sunday allowed the Hobey Stick to leave town with NYC's St.Nick's Athletic Club. In the 35+ division, The Budmen lost their Hobey Stick to the Coor's drinking guys from Agawam, Ma. Jack Edward's Teeth did the Capital City proud by threepeating in the Open Division, but then brought shame upon themselves by not lending a helping hand in the clean up process. The White Park Hockey Club was also given a Knob Award for their failure to help in the clean up or set up efforts.
In the NAHL, Blue was crowned Champions by defeating rival Green in a game seven. John "Stuffy" Stevenson's squad played a sound two way game and Green never could get anything going. Stevenson and company couldn't get over their championship hangover, however,  and got off to the worst start in franchise history this fall, which cost "Stuffy" his job as his struggling Blue squad was in last place in the eastern conference going into the Christmas break. Meanwhile, Gary "Toe" Blake surprised everyone this summer when he announced his retirement. The winningest coach in NAHL history, "Toe" set the standard for modern day coaching. He implemented the "dump and watch" system which  is used by all teams now in the NAHL. "The Toe" was replaced by "The Thumb" as first year coach Tom "Thumb" Flanders took over the reins of Green and has his club in first place in the NAHL. Thumb's name is being mentioned whenever the conversation of "The Bud" comes up. In other NAHL news for 2013; Dunc "Coach" Walsh became the first two-time winner of "The Vic" as league MVP. The unanimous choice of the hockey writer's club, Walsh showed why it pays to put in a  50% effort game in and game out.
In the CCHL this year; The Windmill was crowned champion after they shut out Buffalo Wild Wings in the finals. The first finals shut out in CCHL history earned netminder Mark Crowley the MVP of the playoffs. Tim "The Timinator" Walsh was crowned the CCHL scoring champion after a slow start was followed by a red hot second half of the season. So far this season, "The Timinator" is being touted as "The Timidator" because of his timid scoring pace so far. Matt "Nads" Nadeau finally got his first CCHL victory just last week. News of his success reached around the globe and even toppled a government or two.
Perhaps the biggest story of 2013 was the rescue of Moe Rudz from a slave labor camp inside North Korea. Moe was abducted by North Korean forces while on a panda safari in China that unsuspectingly crossed into N. Korean territory.  Joe "Joe" Farrelly arranged a rescue of the eccentric billionaire. It included the derailed rescue attempt by Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Moe's younger brother Mark Rudz. The two were forced to parachute out of their plane "The Knat" after it was sabotaged by Poon & Tang, the notorious North Korean spys. Mike Farrelly's amazing story sold more copies than the Bible and the Koran combined. "G.I. Joe" Farrelly's forces overwhelmed Korean troops and rescued Moe Rudz. This saw the NAHL season open it's season in Seoul, South Korean and thus open the Asian market to NAHL hockey.
2013 is surely a year to be remembered even if you want to forget it.

Green's Cummy Comeback

Pre Christmas Lube

North Pole Dancers

Green rallied from a 6-2 deficit to defeat Blue 9-6. Led by Mike "The Little Cum" Commerford's four goals, Green scored seven unanswered goals to stun the Blue crowd at The Doug. Midway through the second period it looked like everything was coming up Blue to the delight of the home  crowd. That is when Mike "The Little Cum" Commerford went to work. Commerford used his speed to undo the Blue defense and his accurate shot to light the lamp. He earned first star of the game by tallying four goals to go along with four assists. Commerford has now moved into third place in NAHL scoring just behind Jeff Cain and Dave Carlson. Blue's rookie coach Tom "Painch" Painchaud went with a shortened bench which paid early dividends, but the strategy seemed to backfire when Blue ran out of gas midway through the contest and Green  began to take control of the game. The second star went to Tom "Philby" Philbrick who tallied twice and wore down the Blue D with his relentless forcheck.
The NAHL decided to try the two referee system. It went well with Bill "Hawkeye" MacDougall seeing the call and Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse blowing the whistle. Green defenseman John "Bigfoot" Reagan may not agree as he argued a missed call after he took a stick to the chin which required multiple stitches to close the gash. Reagan was experiencing concussion like symptons and remains in Concord Hospital for observation. He is expected to be released before next thursday's rematch. The third star of the game went to George "Dumpin" Chase for his strong play from the backline.  Chase was a plus nine on the night. Not only did he dump, but he also chased.  All three stars received lube jobs from Tiffany Claus and front row tickets to the North Pole Dancers Christmas extravaganza.
This week in the CCHL; Matt "Nads" Nadeau notched his first CCHL victory of his career as Cimo's defeated Windmill in an OT thriller. Windmill stormed out of the gates to grab a 5-0 lead after the first period. Nadeau rallied the Cimo's troops and they fought back to tie the game at six with just three minutes left in regulation. Nadeau scored twice for Cimo's , but it was Tom "Badger" Carroll who ended the OT on a breakaway, going to the backhand to light the lamp and lift the crowd out of their seats. The team carried "Nads" around the rink on their shoulders, much to the delight of the Cimo's faithful. News travelled across the globe and celebrations took place in nearly seventy countries. North Korean president Kim Jong Il has invited Nadeau to be his special guest along with Dennis "The Worm" Rodman.
In game two; BWW remains atop the standings as they made it six in a row by downing Cheers 10-7. The first line of Banga, Williamson and Richards led the way for BWW. Travis "Gang Bang" Banga  tallied twice along with Mike Richards and "Flyin" Ryan Williamson led all scorers with four goals. D- man Nick Dominici scored twice for Cheers. Tim "The Timinator" scored a goal, but, many are wondering what's wrong with last season's leading scorer.  Walsh has managed to find the back of the twine only fourteen times so far this season which puts him far off of his pace from a year ago. Perhaps Santa will bring him his scoring touch to carry him  through the second half of the season.
Look for The Year-in-Review next week on Pucking Files. From all of us here at The Pucking Files, we want to wish you a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanuaka, a Kwazy Kwanza and a Sweet Ramadama Doo!

Ever Green

The new Mrs. Claus

Last thursday Green got back to it's winning ways by stopping Blue's winning streak at one. Referee Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse was serving a one game suspension for failing a breathalyzer test thirty minutes before the game. He was replaced by Bill "Hawkeye" MacDougall who called it by the book. Blue got out to an early 5-1 lead, but Green stormed back to tie it. Blue then scored two, only to see Green tie it up again. Green finally grabbed the lead in the 3rd period and hung on to a 9-8 lead with minutes remaining. Blue pulled their goalie at just the wrong time and Green added an empty netter to seal the deal.
NAHL Goal Scoring Leaders
1. Jeff Cane
2. Dave Carlson
3. Brian Tillotson
4. Dave Masinek
5. Greg Fournier

In the CCHLCheers downed Cimo's 6-3. Corey "The Cockroach" Laroche had the hat trick. In game two, BWW defeated The Windmill 7-5. The line of Richards, Williamson and Banga scored five of BWW's seven goals.
CCHL Standings                    CCHL Goal Scoring
1. BWW        15 pts.               1. Richards     23 gls
2. Windmill    12                     2. Faretra        22
3. Cheers        11                     3. Laroche      21
4. Cimos         02                     4. Williamson 21
                                                5. Walsh         13

Blue Finds Their Mojo

It took eight weeks, a new coach and a new gm, but Blue finally got a win this season. Getting off to their worst start in franchise history, Blue ownership decided it was time to overhaul the team and it paid dividends immediately. Former Blue standout Tom "Painch" Painchaud was behind the bench for the first time since replacing John "Stuffy" Stevenson. New gm Mike "Garbo" Garafalo shuffled the deck and put a new faster line up on the ice. Green was used to having their way with Blue this season. Green seemed to be in shock as they watched Blue skate around them all night long. Goaltender Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean faced seventy shots and stopped sixty one of them. Dean saw more rubber than an assembly line worker at a condom factory. Down at the other end of the ice, Kenny "Don't Ya Glove Em Madly" Bradley was stellar between the pipes. Bradley was flashing the glove all night long, robbing point blank shots from "TC" Carroll, Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh and Jim "Heathy" Heath. It wasn't until the third period that Green finally broke the shut out bid when Joe "Joe" Farrelly rifled a slapshot from the point to light the lamp. Bradley earned first star of game for his stellar play. Ryan "Silky" Brandt was named second star of the game. Brandt had two goals and two assists and played shut-down D all game long. Chris "Brownie" Brown also scored a pair from his blue line position and his rough physical play kept Green away from Bradley's crease. Brownie's play earned him third star honors. Blue got off to an early 2-0 lead, but they blew the game wide open when Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse called Green for "Too Many Men on the Ice". Blue went to work on the powerplay and moved the puck with ease around the offensive zone. They scored to go up 3-0. "It just seemed to open the flood gates for us", said new coach Tom "Painch" Painchaud. Blue piled it on as Green was back on their heels for the rest of the game. Green added a couple of meaningless goals at the end to make the score 9-3. "If it wasn't for Dean, we could've have scored twenty last night", said Andy "BTO" Bachmann. "It felt good to get that first win under our belts", said Painch. "There is still plenty of time left in the season to get back into the playoff hunt", said new GM Mike "Garbo" Garafalo. Tom  "Thumb" Flanders suffered his first loss as a coach in the NAHL. "I think we learned that you can't take a night off in this league. It's just not an option". .............................................................................

  

Week 9 in the CCHL saw Cimo's win streak come to an end. After an amazing one game run, Cimo's finally came back down to earth when Matt "Nads" Nadeau was reinserted into the line up. "Nads" is still searching for his first career CCHL victory. The story has grown so big now that it's like a media circus whenever Nads takes to the ice. In Russia he is known as "Nadia". In North Korea he is called "Wong Chi" which translates to "man without victory".  In Saudi Arabia he is referred to as "Abu Saha" which means "no wind".  BWW made it four wins in a row by defeating Cimo's 8-4. BWW has won four in a row and are unbeaten in their last seven. "Flyin" Ryan Williamson found the back of the net four times and league leading goal scorer Mike Richards scored twice. For Cimo's it was Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse and Tom "Badger" Carroll eaching lighting the lamp twice. BWW sits atop of the CCHL standings.
In game two, fans were treated to a nail-biter. Windmill hung on to defeat Cheers 4-2. Both teams got stellar goaltending from their backstoppers. The veteran Mark "The Wall" Crowley was solid for Cheers and James "The Wizard of Moz" Mozkos was equal to the task for The Mill. Captain Gavin "You Betcha" Faretra had a pair of goals for Windmill including an empty netter to seal the deal in the waning moments of this tight checking affair. "Hawkeye" MacDougal and "Slick" Nick Lacasse also scored for The Mill. For Cheers, it was "The Timinator"  and "The Cockroach" who found the back of the net. "The Wizard of Moz" showed a little magic in the final minute of the game by keeping the puck out of the net during a scramble in front just before Faretra put the game on ice by scoring into the vacated Cheer's goal.

Nad's Fan

CCHL Standings
1. BWW     13 pts
2. Windmill 12 pts
3. Cheers      9 pts
4. Cimo's      2 pts

Goal Scoring
1. Richards   21
2. Faretra     21
3. Williamson  20
4. Laroche   18
5. Walsh  13

Green Powers Past Blue for 6th Straight Win

Green cruised to it's sixth straight win over rival Blue last night in front of a capacity crowd at the Doug. The Green Machine continues to dominate in the NAHL Eastern Conference as they head into the Thanksgiving All Star break with the best record in the entire NAHL. Green is two points ahead of Chrome who tops the Western Conference. Green defeated Blue 8-5 with the help of Tom "Duster" Dustin who has made an improbable comeback after a three year absence from the NAHL.  Coach "Thumb" Flanders is making a case for "Coach of the Year" honors in his rookie season behind the Green bench. Blue, on the other hand, is digging a hole for themselves as the cellar dwellers in the east. Only Cimo's in the CCHL has a worse record than Blue. Blue hopes to use the time off to regroup. Blue ownership is looking for a new GM and coach. Rumors are that Mike Garbo will get the GM position and probably hire former NAHLer Tom "Painch" Painchaud to run the bench.  We should have an answer by Thanksgiving.
In week 7 of the CCHL, Buffalo Wild Wings have won five straight with their 9-6 win over The Windmill.  A rivalry seems to be brewing between these two clubs. Mike Richards took over the league's goal scoring race by netting four goals while his linemates "Flyin" Ryan Williamson and Travis "Gang Bang" Banga each added a pair for BWW's top line. Windmill was down 5-1, but they came storming back to knot the score at five. BWW would not be denied however as they pulled away to the 9-6 victory. The Mill was led by Gavin "You Betcha" Faretra who scored twice and Bill "Hawkeye" MacDougal and "Slick" Nick Lacasse each lit the lamp.  Bad blood is on the rise in this rivalry.
Cimo's still could not find a way to get a W this season as they were soundly trounced by Cheers 10-3. Corey "The Cockroach" Laroche and Cam "Bam" Heath each scored a hat trick to lead the way for Cheers.  Rumors are swirling of changes to be made by owner John "Cimo" Cimokoski if he doesn't see some wins for his club soon. After last season's two and twenty record, Cimo was hoping for a much improved club this year. He hasn't found any reason to be optimistic. A possible deal is in the works to hire Tom "Philby" Philbrick, the outstanding two way centerman in the NAHL, as their new GM.  Philby is a consultant for the Windmill. Philby's agent has yet to comment on wether his client would consider the position.

Mike Richards scores again!

CCHL Goal Scoring Leaders
1. Mike Richards
2. Ryan Williamson
3. Corey Laroche
4. Gavin Faretra
5. Tim Walsh

CCHL Standings
Windmill 5-2
Cheers    4-2-1
BWW    4-2-1
Girl Scouts 1-6
Cimos    OH & 7

Green Stuffs Blue in a Tight One

The Jackhammer

What has happened to defending champs Blue? The once proud franchise has now landed in the cellar of the NAHL's eastern conference. Blue ownership had seen enough and on wednesday they fired coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson and temporarily replaced him with assistant coach Tim "The Timinator" Walsh. It wasn't enough to right the Blue ship however as they fell short, losing to long time rival Green 7-6. Green has now won five straight against their crosstown rivals. Joe "Joe" Farrelly was out in LA trying to pull off a deal to bolster the roster for the boys in Blue. Rumors have circulated that he has made a deal with Chrome for defenseman Brian "Tilly" Tillotson who signed a one year deal with Chrome in the off season. Blue had a number of roster changes including inserting flamboyant rookie winger Mookie Watts into the line up. "The Mook Man" did manage to score a goal, but his excessive celebration infuriated management who sent Mookie back to the minors immediately following the game. "That was not what we needed right now", said frustrated interim coach Tim Walsh. Meanwhile everything seems to be going Green's way under first year coach Tom "Thumb" Flanders. After long term coach Gary "Toe" Blake surprised everyone when he announced his retirement, many thought Green would take a step backward. On the contrary, "Thumb" has pushed all the right buttons and Green is firing on all eight cylinders. Green too inserted a rookie in THEIR line up. Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse replaced Dunc "Coach" Walsh who was a healthy scratch. Lacasse showed poise on the blue line for Green and he earned Second Star of the game honors. "He is making a case for himself to stay up  in "The Bigs", said teammate Jim "Heathy" Heath. "After getting a taste of life in the NAHL, Lacasse certainly doesn't want to have to go back down to the CCHL", said Thumb Flanders. First Star of the Game went to Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean whose timely save of a Tom "Philby" Philbrick close range shot in the waning seconds of the game denied Blue a point and kept Green's winning streak alive. Jack "Jackhammer" Fraiser earned Third Star honors for his solid performance on the blue line for Green. "The Jackhammer" had several assists and more importantly he kept the ever dangerous "Cummy Brothers" in check all game. "We had no time or space out there" said Jim "The Big Cum" Commerford. "Jackhammer"  held the Commerfords to just one point apiece and the league's former top two scorers dropped down to fourth and fifth as Green's two "TC's" moved up into the first and second spot in league scoring. Tom "TC" Carroll had a four point night to grab the league lead and Tom "The Other TC" Champagne also had four points which bumped him up to the second spot in the NAHL scoring race. Dan "Lucky" Luker is third. Luker had a beautiful tip-in goal to open the scoring last night.
What's going on with NAHL defenseman lately? The injury bug has bitten hard into the league's defensive core. Out of action this week is George "Dumpin" Chase, Brian Tillotson, Gregg "Moose" Moffet, Joe "Joe" Farrelly, Jeff "Hurricane" Cain, Dave "Motor" Carlson and John "Bigfoot" Reagan.  D-men such as Jim "Heathy" Heath, Chris "Brownie" Brown, Ryan "Silky" Brandt and Jack "Jackhammer" Fraiser are being double and triple shifted. Eventually these guys are going to wear down if they don't get some help back on the blue line. Could we see the return of Vic Stanfield? Perhaps we could. Time will tell.

Green Streak

The powerful Green Machine has made it four in a row against rival Blue. Blue seems unable to come up with any answers to stop Green who rolled to an easy 9-2 victory. Last night marked the return of two time and reigning MVP Dunc "Coach" Walsh. The critics who questioned the league's choice of Walsh as MVP were silenced last night as "Coach" scored the hat trick. Walsh, the swing-man on the front line last night, meshed seamlessly with the line of Tillotson, Todd Philbrick and Rosatto as well with the line of Luker, Bergault and Rudz. "He can play any position and play with anyone AND he brings his lunch pail out there every shift" , said Dave "Tilly" Tillotson, who is Dunc's identical cousin and he too had a hat trick last night. "I've worked out hard all fall to get ready for the season", said Walsh. "Nobody told me that it started a month ago", he added.  Last night also marked the return of Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly to the line up. "Hipshake" was rehabbing from  his ordeal in North Korea. "I had been suffering in silence after I returned to the States. Few people know what it's like to cheat death and come back from the brink. Many people doubted my story which also made it difficult to fit back into society. One guy who supported me through all of this was Mark Rudz. He knows because he was there. I would wake in the middle of the night from nightmares of Poon and Tang sitting on my face. I couldn't breathe. My doctor prescribed me Atrex which has helped with the paranoia. It does have some side effects such as: bleeding gums, hemorrhoids, itching and flaking, bad breath, gas, aching joints, trouble urinating, slow skating, hands of stone, poor vision on the ice, bad decision making with the puck and suicidal thoughts  between periods. It did cause an erection that lasted more than four hours. I did not call my doctor however, I let my wife take care of it. I'm just happy to be back in the line up. I thought this day would never come", said Farrelly.  Walsh and Farrelly both earned first star of the game honors. Ryan Brandt was named second star of the game and Kenny "Rebel Without  A Rebound" Dean was named third star after stopping all but two of the four shots he faced last night. Green has added to their league lead while Blue has dropped down to six place.

The Great One!

This week in the CCHL saw The Windmill crush Cimo's 9-2. The Mill rebounded from their only loss last week to improve to four and one. Number one pick Pat Lacasse led the way with a hat trick and brother Nick and Bill "Hawkeye" MacDougall each added a pair of goals.  Cimo's got goals from Phil Lacasse and Mike Russell.  Injuries have a played a huge role in Cimo's poor start to the season. Losing also played a big part to their Oh and five season.
In game two this week, BWW and Cheers played to a five all tie. After and OT and a shoot out no one was able to break the stalemate.  Corey "The Cockroach" Laroche and Tim "The Timinator" Walsh each potted a pair of goals for Cheers. Former LA King Mike Richards had two goals for B2W.  Cheers has gone to the left wing lock which has allowed them to give up fewer goals than they used to.  Captain Tim Walsh has stressed team defense and it has proven successful for Cheers. "Our wide-open style became our Achille's Heal" said Walsh. "We know now that defense wins in the new CCHL".