Married to a Game 8

The NAHL is about to open it's season this Thursday with the much anticipated Game 8 when long-time rivals Blue and Green will battle it out for the 2012 championship. As you may remember, Game 7 ended in a tie. city workers had shut the refrigeration system down for the season late in the third period. After the second overtime, the ice had become too soft to continue, so league officials decided that the championship would have to wait until the ice went back into "the Doug" in september. The rosters have changed very little since Game 7. One addition will be Alexander Rudulov who came over from the Predators after an all-night drinking binge sent him packing to the NAHL. Another surprise is Rich "Doc" Rosatto, who was swallowed by a large catfish this summer and assumed dead, WILL be in the line up. Andy "BTO" Bachmann was awarded the $10,000. reward for returning Rosatto's Blue jersey to the league. BTO caught the laviathan using a spinner and ten inch hook baited with a rat. To Bachmann's surprise, Rosatto had remained alive inside the belly of the catfish for over a week. " I couldn't believe it", said BTO. "When we pulled the enormous fish on board I was hoping the Blue jersey would still be there. When I slit open the fish, to my amazement, there was Rich still wearing the number 99 Blue jersey. It was a miracle! The jersey was still in great condition! I made a deal with Rich that I would pay his league fee for this season as well as last season's. "Doc" was cool with that." BTO presented the jersey to Moe Rudz and was given the reward money for his efforts. Doc's #99 has been officially retired and no one in the NAHL will ever wear that number again. The jersey will be on display in the soon-to-be built Thursday Night Hall of Fame. This year's opening ceremony will include a wedding ceremony that will take place at center ice prior to the game. The daughter of Thursday Night Hall of Famer George "Dumpin" Chase will tie the knot under the jumbotron. Gina "Dumpin" Chase will be marrying Jacque "Left Wing" Lock. The two storied hockey families will be joined in holy matrimony just prior to the dropping of the puck for Game 8. George "Dumpin" Chase will not be in uniform for the game. He will be replaced in the line-up by "Doc" Rosatto. Speaking of marriage; a survey taken this summer has found that hockey players from the NAHL are three times as likely to have a happy marriage compared to the average citizen. The study conducted by The Institute of Stuff, a Washington,D.C. firm that uses tax dollars for stupid stuff found that 97% of NAHL players will stay married throughout the course of their playing careers. The other 3% may account for players that never married or players that were married in Las Vegas while on a drunken stupor. When a player retires or is cut from their team in the NAHL, their chances for staying married drops to 62%. This may account for the longevity of so many players in the league. So, get ready Concord. ICW4G8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!