As Moe continued down river in the dug-out canoe he began to grow weak. His erection had now taken on a life of it's own and it was now more than twenty four hours old. His feet and hands were beginning to turn blue and he became dizzy due to all the blood that his penis required. The jungle heat didn't help matters any. Moe finally passed out in the canoe which was now being swept down stream with no one in control.
When Moe regained consciousness, he found himself on a cot staring at a ceiling fan. A nun was sitting beside his bed reading her bible. "Hello", said Moe. "Bonjour Monsieur", replied the nun. "Parle vous francais?, she asked. "No", answered Moe. "Do you speak english?", he asked her. "No", she replied. The nun left the room and returned with a man dressed like a priest. "Hello, my name is Father Latrine", he said with a heavy accent. "By the grace of God, you are still alive", he added. "Where am I and what has happened to me?", Moe asked the priest. "You were found floating in a canoe in the delta. You were as white as a ghost and very cold. You had a peculiar medical condition. A few of the nuns tried their best to remedy the problem, but to no avail. I myself even tried, but, your condition remained hard, I mean difficult to figure out. We tried an exorcism thinking perhaps that your condition was the work of the devil. This too was unsuccessful. We finally went to a nearby village and found a doctor. The doctor performed the surgery which is why you are alive today", Father Latrine explained. "Surgery?", Moe asked. "Oui, surgery", replied the priest pointing his finger towards Moe's crotch. Moe lifted the sheets and looked down. He was overcome by a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His crotch was completely bandaged. "Oh God NO!", Moe yelled. "I am afraid that the doctor had no other option other than to let you die", said Father Latrine. Tears began to well in Moe's eyes. "I will leave you alone for awhile. You need to rest", said the priest. Moe could not rest. An hour passed and a nun came in to change the bandages. Moe asked her about the doctor, but she spoke very little english. "I was a virgin and I lost my virginity and now I lost my manhood. How could this have happened to me?", Moe said to the young nun. "Ce la vie", she replied. That evening Father Latrine returned to check up on Moe. "Where are we and how do I get out of here?", Moe asked. You are in Bora Bora, just west of the island of Java", replied the priest. "There is a boat that arrives here at the end of the week. By then you may be strong enough to take the trip across the water to the mainland", he told Moe. "It cost five francs to take the boat, but we found that you have nothing at all except a pair of socks and some hiking boots. The people of this village have taken pity on you and provided you with some clothes and a ticket to ride the boat to the mainland. God too has taken pity on you Monsieur Moe. The boat will arrive at the pier at 1pm today", Latrine informed Moe. Moe said goodbye to Father Latrine and the nuns then he walked down to the pier where he boarded the boat. The vessel was a small steam powered barge named "The Filthy Pig". It sputtered it's way out of the delta until it reached the ocean. It was loaded with supplies and the few rare people with enough money to buy a ticket. By chance, the captain was an hard drinking Australian named Gus. He was rough around the edges yet friendly to Moe. For hours, Moe told Gus his tale of woe. Gus was getting drunker by the hour as Moe told his story. It was just before sunset that Moe noticed a vessel heading towards The Filthy Pig. "Hot Damn, fucken PIRATES!", yelled Gus. He pushed the throttle full speed ahead, but the old barge was no match for the pirate's troller. "These guys are scum from the South China Seas", Gus informed Moe. "Go down into the hatch and grab some rifles and hand them to the other passengers", Gus instructed Moe. Gus pushed the throttle full ahead and steam poured out of the stack. The pirate's boat was gaining on the Filthy Pig. "Are they dangerous?", asked Moe. "Hell ya!", yelled Gus. "They'll probably kill us after they rob us". Will Moe meet his demise at the hands of the pirates or will The Filthy Pig out run them? Find out next time on The Pucking Files.
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