CCHL: Back in Business

There is hope for the NHL lockout if they can follow in the footsteps of the CCHL and come to their senses. The players and management of the CCHL found common ground at center ice and ended the lockout that lasted two weeks. "We're back in business!", said Jeff "Kano" Cain. "The players agreed to donate a percent of their earnings to the charity "Hockey Fights Obesity" and the owners will match it. "We are thrilled that the CCHL has joined with the NAHL to support our cause", said Donnie "Doughnut Hole" Duncan, the chairman for Hockey Fights Obesity. Week two of the young CCHL season featured the battle of the unbeatens. It pitted Alan's versus The Windmill. The Windmill took a 3-2 lead thanks to two quick strikes by league leading scorer Joel Arsenault, but they couldn't hold the lead for long. Alan's rally sparked by goals by Shane LeBreton and Ed Caron proved to be too much for The Windmill. Alans is now the lone undefeated team in the league. Week two also found two teams looking to get into the win column. Cheers was eager for the return of their captain Tim Walsh who missed game 1 with a SWD injury that had many believing his career was over. The injury has plagued the league for several years and researchers have found that Sneezing While Driving (SWD) injuries are on the rise and air conditioning may be one of the factors involved. Walsh was treated by Dr. Lucy Flem who is considered the leading authority on SWD. Captain Tim was back in the lineup for game two against Cimmos and it paid dividends immediately. Walsh scored two goals, but it was Cory "Cockroach" Laroche who led all scorers with four lamp lighters. Nate Raimo had the hat trick for Cimmo's in a losing effort. Even John "King Tutt" Tuttle's thirty five saves couldn't save Cimmo's who now sit alone in the cellar. Zach Guercia made twenty eight saves for Cheers. It was a sound defensive effort by both teams as Cheers came out on top 10-8.

Blue Tooth Snarl

Team Blue finally tasted the pie last night with a convincing 10-4 win at The Doug. After a rough start to the new season which many felt was their championship hangover, Blue put together a complete effort for three periods, two commas and one exclamation point. Anchored by stellar netminding from Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean and solid defense from veteran Joe "Joe" Farrelly and his young partner Dunc "Coach" Walsh, the Blue forwards were given the Green light to take some chances and they capitalized on them ten times. "It is finally nice to get a win under my belt", said an elated Dunc Walsh. "Aint that the truth!", added Dan "Too Late" Early. The two room together on road trips. "It was a very important win for us, especially being on the road", said Blue coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson. Blue got a huge boost from three rookies called up for the game. The trio formed the third line, now known as "The Bump & Grind Line".All three are in the running for the "Dick Pinch Award".

The only negative of the evening was that goalie Kenny Dean pulled his groin while skating out onto the ice after being named first star of the game. He is out indefinitely. It is expected that Andy "Gump" Doherty will get the start for Blue's next game. Jeff "Kano" Cain did make his debut last night, but he was unremarkable.He refused to talk to reporters who were anxious to get any information about the lockout in the CCHL. "He's been under a lot of pressure", said Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh. "I give him credit for just being out here tonight", added Brian "Tilly" Tillotson a.k.a "The Big Till". Still no "Kaiser" sighting yet this season. He is reported to be playing in Germany or attending Octoberfest.

In other news around the league. Red beat Yellow 6-2. Right after the game Yellow signed NHL lockout James Van Riemsdyk (seen here in photo with his brother Snoop Van Riemsdog). "JVR" had signed a deal with the Maple Leafs this summer, but the lock out has forced him to find other options. "I always enjoyed my time in New Hampshire", said JVR who is a former UNH Wildcat. "I used to roll wid my homies over from Durham to Cap Ciddy just to watch NAHL games", said the ex Wildcat. "To get this opportunity to skate in the NAHL is a dream come true", he added. Van Riemsdyk is now the second NHL player to sign with a NAHL team this season. The first to join the league this season is Pittsburgh Penquin d-man Matt Niskanen who registered his first point last night after he assisted on the winning goal as Mauve beat Teal 3-2. On the west coast Rust corroded Chrome 5-1.

Green Party Ahead in the Polls

Team Green made it two in a row over rival Blue last night at The Doug. The win keeps Green atop of the Eastern Conference while Blue remains in the cellar searching for answers and a much needed win. Blue made a few changes to their line up by adding veteran d-man Brian "Tilly" Tillotson who replaced forward Dan "Too Late" Early who watched from the press box. The move was designed to bolster a leaky defense that gave away the puck far too often in the previous game. Not to be out done; Green coach Gary "Toe" Blake made even more changes to HIS line up by calling up Tom "Painch" Painchaud and Gregg "Moose" Moffett along with Jim "Heathy" Heath who returned after missing the first three games with a torn BYOB ligament. Heath, a five time all star and NAHL Hall of Famer was on top of his game and earned first star of the game honors. "There was no sign of rust what so ever", said Dave "Motor" Carlson on Heathy's performance. "Motor" was named second star of the game. "Heathy controlled the tempo of the game", said Tom "TC" Carroll. "I think I speak for the whole team when I say that Heathy's presence on the blue line gave us a shit-load of confidence". Moffet and Painchaud played very solid games for Green. "Toe" is a genious!" , exclaimed Tom "Berg" Bourgault who lit the lamp several times and earned third star honors. " The Toe knows what he's doing behind the bench despite all the paint fumes he inhaled during the off season", said Mike "The Little Cum" Commerford. In other action last night, Magenta stumbled again by losing a seven goal lead to Yellow. The loss keeps them tied with Blue at the bottom of the standings.

The NHL and CCHL lock-outs continue and many of their fans are now faced with choices of what to do if no settlement is reached. That's why the Lingerie Football League is making a bid to the NBC Sports Network to broadcast their games. I think fans will be very excited at the product we put out there", said league president Fannie Pinch (wife of former Coachman Dick Pinch). "This is a HUGELY talented group of athletes with skills up the whazzu". Each day that passes with no settlement to the NHL lock-out brings new signings of players to the KHL and the Swedish Elite League as well as other leagues around the world. Now, in inside source tells us that the NAHL has signed it's first NHL player to a "temporary contract". Pittsburgh Penguin defenseman Matt Niskanen has signed a one year deal with Mauve and this may open the door for more NHL players to stay stateside during the lock out. Pen's owner Mario Lemieux was not happy to receive the news and told The Pucking Files this, " The NAHL is a highly competitive league, but what worries me is the lack of supervision that goes on after the games. Young players are especially vulnerable and I worry that they may make bad choices that could come back to haunt them later in their careers. You know when a player like Alexander Rudulov signed with them that the NAHL attracts a certain type of player that may not bode well for younger players looking to make a bright future for themselves. Matt knows where I stand, but he's an adult and that is his choice. I keep my fingers crossed that we can settle the lock-out soon so Matt and others don't end up there in the NAHL. Where there is smoke, there is fire and I think I smell smoke in the NAHL".

Green Overwhelms Defending Champs in Opener

Just one week ago Blue was crowned NAHL champions after their game eight victory. Last night their championship banner was hoisted to the rafters to a loud applause from their adoring fans. Then the puck dropped and the Blue faithful had nothing to cheer about for the rest of the evening. It may have been a case of "championship hangover", but whatever it was, it wasn't pretty for Blue. Green routed a sorry Blue squad 11-2. It was all Green all night. The scoring started on the first shift of the game when Dave "Tilly" Tillotson put Green on the board. It was the first of a five point night for Tilly who earned second star of the game honors. Tilly's linemates, Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh and Tom "Berg" Bergault all had multiple point nights as well. Green's second line equalled the first unit in output, led by Jim "Cummy" Commerford a.k.a. "The Big Cum" who set up in his office behind the net and fed his teammates Phil "the Commish" Stuart and Mark Rudz. "Cummy" was given the third star of the game. The first star went to Ryan "Silky" Brandt who anchored the Green defense that along with netminder Andy "Gump" Doherty kept Blue shut down throughout the game. George "Dumpin" Chase and Dave "JP" Palisi were the other blueliners who performed brilliantly all game long. "The guys played a complete game at both ends of the ice", explained coach Gary "Toe" Blake. "They obviously wanted it more", lamented Blue's Tom "Shemp" Champagne. "I think our guys thought that their game 8 victory last week meant that they wouldn't have EARN IT game in and game out", quipped Blue coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson. Even the return of "the Jackhammer" couldn't cure the Blue hangover. We will see if it is a wake up call for the defending champs who have fallen into last place in the eastern conference. In other NAHL action last night, Teal beat Red 4 to 3, Yellow defeated Mauve 6-1 and Magenta slipped past Black 3 to 2. It looks to be a wide open season in the NAHL and fans couldn't be happier. While the NAHL is stronger than ever, other leagues are not so lucky. We have a lockout in the NHL which threatens to cancel the upcoming season AND now we are told that the CCHL is in danger of the same. The CCHL which is the primary feeder league to the NAHL has fallen on tough times. The player's union and management could not come to an agreement on terms for revenue sharing and the midnight deadline came and went with no deal being struck between the two sides. A beleaguered commissioner Jeff "Kano" Cain appeared in front of reporters last night to explain the situation. "We have some people who want it all and refuse to give an inch. Both sides are very far apart. We have rescheduled the start of the season to mid october and even that may not take place if a compromise isn't reached", explained a frustrated Cain. The Pucking Files will keep abreast (he said breast!) of the situation as it unfolds. The Pucking Files is pleased to welcome it's new sponsor TSR Hockey. Also, please be sure to check out the first installment of INSIDE THE LIES that debuted yesterday. Each month "Inside the Lies" will bring you up close and personal with the people that shape OUR world. There is a lot to look forward to in The Pucking Files.

The Pucking Files Tackles "Daddy Bush League"

The Pucking Files is pleased to announce it's new feature; "Inside The Lies". Once a month we will sit down and conduct interviews with the famous and the infamous as well as the new kids on the pond. The interviews will be candid, controversial and uncensored. The Pucking Files aren't afraid to ask the tough questions and our subjects aren't afraid to lie if needs be. Our first interview is with blogger Daddy Bush League. "DBL" was held as a spy in a Morrocan prison for eight years before escaping and returning to the Granite State. The idea for his blog daddybushleague.blogspot.com came to him while he rotted in a dank prison cell high on hash. TPF: Your blog "Daddy Bush League" is primarily about sports and politics. Is there a relationship between the two? DBL: Yes, they both have dark horses and Cinderella stories, but sports teams don't use attack ads against their opponents. They both can also give us the amazing comeback. TPF: With all the political talk about the deficit in the state's budget, we can't overlook the fact that UNH hockey coach Dick Umile is the highest paid state employee. Is he overpaid? DBL: I'm on the fence about that. He does help bring in revenue for the state by giving us an exciting product. If he could deliver a national championship then no one would care about the deficit. TPF: With the state laying off many employees due to budget cuts, others are being asked to now do the work of several positions. Should Coach Umile be asked to coach the Lady Wildcats? DBL: I don't think the women's hockey teams needs him as much as the men's basketball team does. TPF: You've always been a huge Wildcats hockey fan, but you went to UVM. Were you conflicted when the two schools played each other? DBL: I always rooted for the Catamounts in the regular season, but if it came down to the NCAA finals, I'd be very conflicted. I don't know what I would do. TPF: Let's talk about the horrific season the Red Sox are having. Is Bobby Valentine to blame? If not; who is? DBL: He is part of the problem, but not all of it. I think a number of the players acted immaturely. I believe that the front office constrained Valentine from doing his own thing, so we may never know how he could have managed the team with his own staff, ideas, ect, ect. TPF: How often do you think Tom Brady is getting it from Gisele? DBL: Not very often during the season. Belichick makes him wear a chastity belt. TPF: Will Tim Thomas ever be a Bruin again? DBL: I doubt it. He'll probably be traded to Vancouver for Luongo. Roberto will be a good back up for Tukka. TPF: Do you think Tim Thomas acted selfishly when he refused to go to the White House with the rest of his team? DBL: I think the whole thing was overblown. I'm all for free speech, but, I think in this case it should've been nixed by the team concept. There is no "I" in team, however, there is an "I" in Tim. It became a big distraction to the team. Besides, it is disrespecting the highest office in the land. TPF: Do you think professional sports teams should be invited to the White House? DBL: Yes, it is honoring acheivement. It shouldn't be limited to athletics. I think people who get a perfect score on their SATs should be invited. TPF: Do you think there will be an NHL season this year? DBL: Yes, but it probably won't start until the Winter Classic or later. TPF: If there is a season; who do you see in the Cup finals? DBL: That's a tough one. I'll go with the LA Kings in the West and even though I hate to pick against the Bruins; I will go with the NY Rangers. I may change my mind by the time I do MY NHL preview. TPF: Do you think there will be a CCHL season? DBL: Doubtful. TPF: Should America stick with the two party political system? DBL: No, I think that every part of the political spectrum should be represented with the exception of radical and reactionary parties. We need to have more than two points of view in this country. TPF: There is the Green Party and the Tea Party. Should there be a Green Tea Party? DBL: Well, green tea is full of antioxidents. If it means the end of the Tea Party then yes. TPF: What professional athlete currently playing do you see would make a good US President someday? DBL: Ray Lewis. His speeches would be awesome and he'd scare the shit out of the rest of the world. TPF: How long have you been reading The Pucking Files? DBL: I've been following it religiously since the very beginning. TPF: What do you like best about it? DBL: They don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. TPF: Do you think the NHL lock out will help the NAHL? DBL: It can't hurt. TPF: Who is your favorite player in the NAHL? DBL: Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies. TPF: Why? DBL: He revolutionized the defensive position. TPF: How? DBL: By slowing the game down to his pace. He let's the game come to him instead of taking it to the opposition. TPF: Where you surprised that Blue won game 8? DBL: No, Green didn't have a chance without the Kaiser in the line up. TPF: Who do you see in the NAHL finals in 2013? DBL: I wouldn't be surprised to see Mauve and Teal in the finals. Check out daddybushleague.blogspot.com and see what the buzz is about.

Eight is Enough

The much-anticipated game eight was everything the fans and media had been waiting for and when it was over Blue skated away with the 2012 championship. Blue fans celebrated late into the night. Things did get ugly however when a group of disgruntled Green fans overturned cars and lit fire to the boat house. Several arrests were made. "These were just a group of Concord anarchist who don't care about hockey", said Tom "TC" Carroll of Green. Fans were on the edge of their seats all night as the pivotal game eight unfolded. The banners that hung around the Capitol City all summer that read: "ICW4G8!" were an indication of how important this game was to the city and to fans of the NAHL all over the world. It was broadcast in fifty countries world-wide including such places as the Figi Islands and Rumboogie. The game did not disappoint. It writes another chapter in the storied history of these two rivals. Netminder Andy "Gump" Doherty was awarded the Stonely Cup as tournament MVP. He stopped two penalty shots in the third period to preserve the victory for Blue.

Blue had a 4 to 3 lead when Green captain Joe "Joe" Farrelly was awarded a penalty shot after Alexander Rudulov hauled him down. Coach Gary "Toe" Blake sat Rudulov for the rest of the game. "It was a case of lazy hockey", said Blake. "Gump" Doherty came up large when he flashed the pads on Farrelly's wicked wrister. "That gave us a huge momentum swing", said Dave "Motor" Carlson (who was the first guy to pay his player union fees for the upcoming season). Late in the third with Blue still only up by a goal, referee Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse awarded yet another penalty shot to Green. This time it was Tom "Berg" Bergault who had the opportunity to tie the game, but Doherty came up huge again by robbing the always dangerous "Berg". "What a lift that save gave us", said rugged Blue defenseman Chris "Brownie" Brown. With just over a minute to go, Green pulled goaltender "Kenny" in favor of an extra attacker, but speedy winger Tom "Philby" Philbrick grabbed the puck that was chipped out to center ice and went in all alone on the vacated Green net, head down all the way. " I was trying to decided whether to shoot or deke", explained Philby. "I made up my mind to shoot and that was the right choice". "The Doug" erupted when Philby buried the shot and players on the Blue bench began to celebrate. "What a feeling!", exclaimed Mike "Little Cum" Commorford. "We have to put it behind us now and focus on the upcoming season", said a disappointed Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly. Next week starts the new season and the Blue banner will be hoisted to the rafters before the game. It promises to be another exciting season in the NAHL.

Married to a Game 8

The NAHL is about to open it's season this Thursday with the much anticipated Game 8 when long-time rivals Blue and Green will battle it out for the 2012 championship. As you may remember, Game 7 ended in a tie. city workers had shut the refrigeration system down for the season late in the third period. After the second overtime, the ice had become too soft to continue, so league officials decided that the championship would have to wait until the ice went back into "the Doug" in september. The rosters have changed very little since Game 7. One addition will be Alexander Rudulov who came over from the Predators after an all-night drinking binge sent him packing to the NAHL. Another surprise is Rich "Doc" Rosatto, who was swallowed by a large catfish this summer and assumed dead, WILL be in the line up. Andy "BTO" Bachmann was awarded the $10,000. reward for returning Rosatto's Blue jersey to the league. BTO caught the laviathan using a spinner and ten inch hook baited with a rat. To Bachmann's surprise, Rosatto had remained alive inside the belly of the catfish for over a week. " I couldn't believe it", said BTO. "When we pulled the enormous fish on board I was hoping the Blue jersey would still be there. When I slit open the fish, to my amazement, there was Rich still wearing the number 99 Blue jersey. It was a miracle! The jersey was still in great condition! I made a deal with Rich that I would pay his league fee for this season as well as last season's. "Doc" was cool with that." BTO presented the jersey to Moe Rudz and was given the reward money for his efforts. Doc's #99 has been officially retired and no one in the NAHL will ever wear that number again. The jersey will be on display in the soon-to-be built Thursday Night Hall of Fame. This year's opening ceremony will include a wedding ceremony that will take place at center ice prior to the game. The daughter of Thursday Night Hall of Famer George "Dumpin" Chase will tie the knot under the jumbotron. Gina "Dumpin" Chase will be marrying Jacque "Left Wing" Lock. The two storied hockey families will be joined in holy matrimony just prior to the dropping of the puck for Game 8. George "Dumpin" Chase will not be in uniform for the game. He will be replaced in the line-up by "Doc" Rosatto. Speaking of marriage; a survey taken this summer has found that hockey players from the NAHL are three times as likely to have a happy marriage compared to the average citizen. The study conducted by The Institute of Stuff, a Washington,D.C. firm that uses tax dollars for stupid stuff found that 97% of NAHL players will stay married throughout the course of their playing careers. The other 3% may account for players that never married or players that were married in Las Vegas while on a drunken stupor. When a player retires or is cut from their team in the NAHL, their chances for staying married drops to 62%. This may account for the longevity of so many players in the league. So, get ready Concord. ICW4G8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!