Not on Thursday Night

This just doesn't happen on Thursday Night. That is why Thursday Night Hockey is reconized by the NAHL.
* John "Stuffy" Stevenson wants all players on Blue to, "report to training camp on September 1rst in shape and ready to go. Your gym shorts must be pulled up over your boxers, no jewelry, no gang tatoos and no wrist bands".
* Gary "Toe" Blake wants all players on Green to, "be at the airport one hour early before the flight to Copenhagen. Turn off your iPhones and laptops until further notice".

Startling Find During "Doug" Renovation

When construction workers jackhammered through the old concrete floor of the Everett Arena they made a grizzly discovery. Concord Police were called down to the Douglas N. Everett Arena on Loudon Rd. on wednesday when a construction worker found what appeared to be human remains buried under the concrete floor. The FBI was quickly brought in and by friday DNA testing concluded that the skeletal remains found were those of Jimmy Hoffa the former Teamster President who was last seen in July of 1975.

"We don't know how he got there or why, but, we do know it is definitely Jimmy Hoffa", said FBI agent Gary Sibly. "It's been kind of crazy around here the past few days", said Dunc "Coach" Walsh, a city employee who was working at the Doug during the discovery. To compound the situation, city officials have sheepishly admitted that another man may now be feared buried under the new croncrete floor that was poured on thursday. Former Thursday Night Hockey player Dave Maznek is missing and only his shoe was found just a few feet away from the newly poured floor. Mr. Maznek who is often missing was hanging around the Doug that morning taking photos which he claimed were for his "facebook page". Construction workers asked him several times to back away which Mr. Maznek apparently did, but he would eventually end up right back near the area where the concrete was being poured. "No one actually saw him fall in, however he was suddenly gone and all we found was his left shoe", said Dunc Walsh. Police called Mr. Maznek's wife who said that he hadn't shown up at home that night, although she was not too worried because she claimed he did that sort of thing all the time. A spokesperson from the Players Association confirmed that Maznek would often go missing for months at a time. "He would always pay his Player's Union Fees on time ,but he would never show up for practice or games", said Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the Head of the Player's Union. GM Gary "Toe" Blake finally told Maznek to: "take some time off and decide what you want to do with your life". He hasn't been back since then, yet he still mails in his annual dues to the Player's Union. "We are not going to increase city taxes to tear up the new floor for one guy who may not even be under there", said a city official. So, as one mystery is solved, another mystery is born. It "remains" to be seen if "the Doug" serves as a final resting place for a former hockey player. It won't be the first time a hockey player's career gets buried at the Doug.

Legends of Hockey: "The Older We Get, The Better We Were"

The New Hampshire Legends of Hockey hosted it's annual golf tournament last week and the Pucking Files were there to cover this spectacular event.

It was announced that this year's induction ceremony will be held in Concord at the Grappone Center on October 30th. Ironically two of the players being inducted are from Thursday Night Hockey which will be hosting their first Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame ceremoney just three days prior on October 27th immdiately following a classic showdown between arch rivals Blue and Green at "the Doug". The league let it be known that four people will recieve the honor, but decided to keep it a secret until the day of the big event. The New Hampshire Legends made their announcement already that they have already accepted Thursday Nighters Ryan Brandt and Dunc Walsh as honorees. A spokesman for Thursday Night Hockey admitted that they felt it was still a bit premature to vote on these two when they are just now getting into the prime of their careers. "Certainly they are very good players, but, are they Thursday Hall of Fame good?", said Jimmy the Geek who is a board member with a vote. "I'm not saying they will or will not get in", said Ray "Lame" Duckler of the Concord Monitor (not a voting member). All I know is that you should mark your calenders for October 27th Legends of Thursday Night Hockey, October 31rst Legends of NH Hockey and October 31rst Halloween Bash at the Gilmore Street Mosque.

Blue Makes Moves to Catch Green

The Bud Light ownership of hockey powerhouse Blue was not satisfied finishing second to rival Green last season and has taken steps this summer to try and remedy the situation. Coach/GM Gary "Toe" Blake who won "The Bud" Luckern Trophy for coach of the year will now have to match wits with Blue's newest hire of Coach/Gm. Bud Light announced today that they have hired long time Budmen coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson to take the helm and help deliver a championship to the Blue faithful. Stevenson led the Budmen to numerous championships in Fitchburg but has fallen on hard times lately in Fitchburg with his team failing miserably last spring and some critics saying that he has "lost control of his players". "We felt a change of scenery will help Stuffy get back to his winning ways", said a team spokesman. "I'm thrilled", said Blue's goaltender Tom "Harry" Harrison when learning of the news via a text message he recieved while vacationing in Disney World. Harry won "The Stuffy" last season for the league's top goaltender. "He preaches "the defense first" philosphy that should appeal to Harry who is in the final year of his contract. Blue did not stop there however, they also announced that have completed a big trade involving five players. Blue has acquired Dave "Tilly" Tillotson and Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly from Green for Dave "Greasy" Pallisi, Jeff "Kano" Kane and Dan "Too Late" Early. "I am thrilled to get those guys", said Tom "Shemp" Champagne when he was informed that Blue picked up Tilly and Hipshake. Blue has been looking for some offensive guys who can get Shemp back amongst the scoring elite. Green GM Toe Blake said, "We think we've made our team a better overall team with the trade and we have plenty of guys who can pick up the offense to replace those two". It has been rumored that Blake and Tilly have never seen eye to eye on how things should be done in Greenland (not the country)*. No one can argue with the success that they had last season however. "I'm really looking forward to training camp", said Stuffy Stevenson, "I would warn my players to be ready because no one's job is safe and we have plenty of young talent waiting to take the place of any slackers."
* In Greenland the country, things are still done the same way they've been doing things for the past four hundred thousand years which is jumping from iceberg to iceberg clubbing seals.

Thursday Night Puckers to Open Season in Europe

Officals from Thursday Night Hockey announced yesterday that they would be opening the season on September 8th in Copenhagen, Denmark where defending champs Green will take on long-time rivals Blue. The two teams will then travel to Brussels, Belgium where they will play on the 15th before returning to "the Doug" where they will meet again for the first time since Green defeated Blue in the finals last march. "We are very excited about this", said Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the head of the players association who went to Denmark last month in order to put this deal together. Karl Largerhead, the president of the Danish Sports Adminstration and an admitted admirer of Thursday Night Hockey made the announcement on Danish TV. "Vee ur hoppy to heve Turdee Neet Honky ply un der mutterlund", he said. I bet you are Karl! The league also sent Tom "Philby" Philbrick to Belgium to arrange game 2 there because of Philby's long ties with that country and the fact that he is fluent in Belginium. Philby's wife is from Belgium. The two met while Philby was playing minor league hockey for the Bruges Bruisers. He also convinced the team's owner to purchase Anheuser Bush. I'm sure he's glad he took Philby's advice on that! Tickets are available for a package deal that includes airfare, hotel and tickets to the games at the Everett Arena box office.

Golf Charity Raises Money & Awareness

The players from Thursday Night Hockey got together at the Beaver Meadow golf course today to help raise money and awareness to an important issue. Hockey Fights Obesity has been leading the way in the fight to put an end to America's leading health concern. Despite the damp weather, the event was a HUGE success and it raised some serious coin to help fight obesity. The fans came out in Huge numbers as well and they cheered on their favorite Thursday Night stars and they were also treated to a glimpse of Lord Stanely's Cup which made the trip up from Beantown with Johnny Boychuck who was this year's honored guest at the tournament. Boychuck said, "I am honored to be chosen to play in this event and I now realize how winning the Stanley Cup can open doors that I never imagined were possible before." He went on to say, "These guys are amazing athletes wether on the ice or the fairway. I felt more pressure today than I did in game seven of the Cup finals." Playing alongside guys like "Tilly" (shown here munching Beaver carpet)

and "Philby" and "Heathy", is a thrill, but it makes you understand what focus is all about", Boychuck added. Everyone was a winner today especially America's heavys. Thank you Thursday Night Hockey for putting your weight behind a good cause.

Honoring the Ageless One

We here at The Pucking Files would like to honor "the Ageless One". No, we are not talking about Mark Recci. We are talking about our own fearless leader on Thursday Night, the Duke of Defense, Joe "Joe" Farrelly who turned at least 36 years of age today. The head of the Thursday Night Players Association and a true "Builder" as the driving force behind The Thursday Night Hockey League as well as the cornerstone of the 1974 Brady Green Giants who came with a mere 8 seconds of being legends in NH hockey (skate the goddam puck over the redline for gods sake!). Joe brings it every thursday and his leadership was inspirational in leading Green to the championship and the only reason The Budmen even made it to the finals in The Black Ice Pond Hockey Championship. Happy Birthday "Joe" Farrelly!!!!!!!!!!!! Yours Truely, Moe Rudz