Bud Lightening Almost Burns Down the Carnival!

It took OT to decide the fate of Bud Lightening as they came close to winning the Michalob Division championship in just they're first season. Kudos to Jim "Hazy" Hayes for putting together a squad of young, unseasoned veterans who were mature beyond their years. "I'm so proud of these kids. They played with the composure and speed of players much older", said Hazy. "Nobody gave us chance and we proved that although we're relatively young, we're not inexperienced", said Dan "Lucky" Luker (who was the third highest scorer on his line). "The age of the earth is billions of years old and man has only been on it for a short period of time", he added. "I got a chance to skate on Thursday Night a few times this season,so playing in the Michalob division seemed more like Mich Ultra which Philby calls "V-beer", said Greg "Hernia" Fournier. "This was the highest level of hockey that I've played since last thursday", said Jeff "Kano" Kane. The Bud Lightening were undefeated going into sunday's tilt. Backstopper Kenny "Don't You Love Her Madley" Bradley was outstanding making 87 saves in the tourney including stopping a penalty shot in the final game. His performance earned him the Conn Dumb award for preventing goals and unwanted pregnancy. Jim "Cummy" Commorford was the top point getter and brother Mike lead the team in goals. George Chase led the team in dump ins and Tom Painchaud was a tournament high plus 8. His defensive partner Dave Jack was a minus 9. Johnny "Pie" Marchand was cut up into sections and served hot with a scope of vanilla ice cream after the tournament. "It goes great with a Bud!", said Tom "Berg" Bergault. Mike "Cummy" Commoford turned down all food after the tournament saying, "I ate WAY TOO MUCH cotton candy before I got on the ferris wheel on saturday. Cummy puked off the ferris wheel and was given a two minute unsportmanlike penalty. " I tried to convince him to get in the van and head back to Concord", said brother Jim, "but he was like a little kid and kept asking for more money because he was all jacked up on cotton candy." "We think that if Mike hadn't have gone to the carnival, we probably would have won the tournament", added Hazy. "It was a great tournament AND I gave up smoking", said Gregg "Hernia" Fournier. The Bud Lightening will be back next season and perhaps face the Budmen in the finals since the tournament organizers have mandated that they move to the Michalob division after their sub par performance. Well, that's it from The Pucking Files for now. Look for the Individual Awards for Thursday Night to be posted in the next issue following this week's awards dinner at the Gas Lighter.

Bud Light Into Finals; Budmen Out!

First year team Bud Light will be headed to the finals on sunday in Fitchburg. The Budmen get an early exit from the tournament that they allegedly domintated for years. Bud Light is young and they bring youthful enthusiasm to the tournament while the Budmen are showing signs of age. Look for Team Concord GM Gary "Toe" Blake to make some changes before next years tourney.

From Thursday to Fitchburg

Just when you thought there was nothing worth getting up for on friday morning (other than work), you find out there is a carnival in Fitchburg. Who wouldn't want to ride on a ferris wheel on a cold windy night in March? Apparently people in Fitchburg like it. They also like Bud and hockey. The Thursday Night gang has made the pilgrimage to Fitchburg (not to watch the Fenguins)to try to bring home more hardware to the Capitol City. Some of these guys just can't get enough. Former Fitchburg champions The Budmen got off to a rough start on weds night by getting a beat down by a younger and hungrier squad whose name we won't mention. "It didn't feel right playing on wednesday", said Tom "Philby" Philbrick of the famed Philby Brothers. "Wednesday night is usually reserved for watching game film to prepare for Thursday", explained Dave "Tilly" Tillotson of the famed Tilly Brothers. "Wednesday night gets here way too early", lamented Joe "Joe" Farrelly of the famed Farrelly Brothers. Friday night the Budmen will have to regroup and hope they can kindle some Thursday Night Magic. This year marks the first year of Thursday Night expansion team Bud Light playing in the Fitchburg Civic Center. Bud Light fared better than the Budmen by tying their first match on wednesday night. They were extremely loose which is a sign of their youth. "We felt no pressure" said Tom "Painch" Painchaud (pictured yucking it up in the locker room prior to the game). "It felt like a walk in the park compared to Thursday Night", he added. "Hell, I thought it was Thursday!", exclaimed a confused Greg "Hernia" Fournier. The famed "Cummy" brothers provided much of the offense while Kenny "Don't you love her Madley" Bradley played solid in nets. Bud Light played without the services of George "Dumpin" Chase who was flying back from Spain on wednesday. " I was disappointed that "Dumpin" didn't shown a bit more committment by highjacking the plane and having them fly directly to Fitchburg for the game", said Captian Jim "Hazy" Hayes who once high jacked a Concord Trailways bus to get him to Henniker for the start of an NEC game. We will be reporting back early next week on the Thursday Nighters and their quest at Fitchburg.

It's All Green on St.Patrick's Day!

It's only fitting that Green should be crowned the King of St.Patty's Day. As Green skated around "The Doug" hoisting the Thursday Night Trophy stick high, the crowd broke into a rendition of "Danny Boy" and Ol'Saint Patrick himself couldn't have scripted it any better. That is unless you were one of the Blue fans who made the trip all the way to the Capitol City only to watch Blue's Cinderella story come to a screeching halt. "All I could see was a sea of Green when I looked into the stands", said victorious goaltender Kenny Bradley. Bradley didn't get much work last night as the Green defense was stellar; keeping Blue to a mere twelve shots on goal. Last night marked the return of D-man Ryan Brandt who along with Joe "Joe" Farrelly, Jeff "Kano" Kane, Tom "Painch" Painchaud and Jack "Jackhammer" Fraiser shut down Blue all game long. Blue got out to an early lead in the opening minutes, but it was all Green after that. The tide turned for Green when winger Mike O'Farrelly made a spectacular pass to Tom "TC" Carroll from deep within his own zone that sent TC in on a breakaway and the league's leading scorer didn't miss. That opened the way for a Green route. TC, O'Farrelly and Tilly were named the three stars of the game (see photo), but everyone on Green deserved the honor. Blue, on the other, hand had little to cheer about after they're opening goal. "I guess we just ran out of gas", lamented Dunc "Coach" Walsh. "At Christmas time no one would have guessed we would have even made the playoffs, let alone push Green to a fifth game in the finals, so we have to console ourselves with that", said Dave "The Hammer" Palisi. As a show of league solidarity, Green invited Blue into their locker room to celebrate a fantastic season for the entire league. Blue's "King of the Wings" Todd Philbrick cooked up some of his world famous chicken wings and the two teams celebrated well into the wee hours of the morning. "The league won, the fans won and hockey won last night", said Phil "The Commish" Stewart. Concord mayor Jim Boulay said, "It's been great for the Capitol City to host this event. The resturants and bars were packed, the hotels were filled and business thrived. We were fortunate to have hosted two huge sporting events this year." A victory parade is scheduled for monday as the Green players will be riding down Concord's famed "Canyon of Champions". There will a parking ban on Main St. on monday. And so the season comes to an end, but what a season it has been! Starting with the 1883 Black Ice Pond Hockey Championship right through to the 1882 Thusday Night Championship, fans in the Capitol City were treated to the best hockey in the world. Green had an incredible year and if Gary "Toe" Blake can keep the team together, they may be poised for a repeat next season. It is rumored that Dave "Tilly" Tillotson's contract is up and he will be asking for a huge increase in his salary which would put Green over the cap. Look for Tilly to be moved if he and Toe can't work out a deal. No team has yet to win back to back championships on Thursday Night. Maroon had to dismantle their team after last year's championship year and they didn't even make the playoffs this year. Even though the season is over, we here at The Pucking Files are committed to bringing you all the latest news from the hockey world. Next week, we will be announcing the individual awards. We will also be covering the trial of the White's Pond Duo which is scheduled for April 18th. We will be bringing all the breaking news as we get it on the investigation of the Brownie assassination attempt. We will keep you informed of off season trades and acquisitions and much more. Happy Off-Season everyone! Yours truely, Rudzbro

Pond of Dreams Now Available on Ebay

Pulitzer Prize winning book "Pond of Dreams" is now available on ebay as well as Barnes and Noble, Borders and Amazon but Thursday Nighters can get it at Game 5 being played at the Doug on St.Patrick's Day. Don't miss your opportunity to buy the book which critics call "The only book you'll ever have to read or look at the pictures." The Hockey News said, "It's even better than porn". Ernest Hemmingway said, "If I were alive, I would read nothing but this book or look at the pictures when my girlfriend was away. Two time Beanpot MVP Vic Stanfield called it, "a masterpiece of books with just pictures." Ray Duckler says, "Book of Dreams is way better than the Bible."

Look for it in the locker room on St. Patty's day!

It's Going to Game Five! Blue Evens the Series

If you told someone around Christmas time that Blue would be playing in Game 5 of the finals against Green they would have told you to check into 105 Pleasant Street for some electro-shock therapy. Who's CRAZY now! Last night Blue silenced the doubters with a 4 to 3 victory over number one seeded Green to push the series to a fifth and final game on St. Patrick's day. Green can only hope that the "Wearing O the Green" next thursday will be their lucky charm. Tickets went on sale this morning for next week's thrilling climax and the "Doug" was sold out before lunch time.
Last night Green jumped out to an early two goal lead, but Blue battled back to finally put one past rookie goalie "Smitty" who was called up late from the minors to fill in for the "Kennys" who have minded the nets all season. The move which raised some eyebrows among critics of Gary "Toe" Blake looked like sheer genious as the young netminder was flawless in the first period against wave after wave of Blue attackers. The ice looked like it was tilted down towards the Green end. "Green was hanging on for dear life", said Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies the ruggedly handsome stay-at-home defenseman for Blue. Green added another goal late in the period and things began to look dire for Blue. A nasty blind side hit from Green "goon" Dave "The Hammer" Palisi on defenseman Jim "Hazy" Hayes only served to fire up Blue. Jeff "Kano" Kane called the hit "a typical Hammer cheap shot". "This guys been getting away with this stuff for years and league officials won't do anything about it", Kane added. Finally, mid-way into the second period, Blue got on the board when Tom "Shemp" Champagne took a feed from Mike "The Great One" Farrelly who was parked in his "office" behind the net and Shemp jammed it home past the young netminder. "Smitty is the son of former goaltending legend Brian "Smitty" Smith now known as "The Voice of Black Ice". "The kid was incredible", said Dan "Too Late" Early who locked his keys in his car in order to take the focus off the Green loss. "If it wasn't for this kid standing on his head all night we may have lost by twenty goals", said Tom "Painch" Painchaud who finally got in the loss column for the first time this playoff season. Green was powerless against a hungrier Blue squad which was not to be denied a game 5. Tom "TC" Carroll scored a hat trick to secure the win for Blue. TC is likely to win the scoring title this season. He was given the "game chair" for a record fifth time this season. "When the game is on the line, TC is the guy you want on the ice", said linemate Todd "Philby" Philbrick. Philby and Clint each had a pair of assists. Tom "Harry" Harrison kept Blue in contention by making timely saves when needed. He stopped all but three of Green's four shots. Blue was happy to get the crucial road win and to force a deciding game five.
An ugly incident occured after the game however. The blue uniforms were stolen from the locker room and police say they have a lead but are not sure of the name or whereabouts of the suspect. A sercurity camera recorded this photo of the suspect and police are asking for your help in identifing him. Call 1 800 thusday if you might know this man.

On a brighter note; former Minnesota Governor and presidential hopeful Tim "The Big P" Pawlenty came to the Capital City as part of his tour around the U.S. and to raise awareness about the trial of the White's Pond Duo. He said, "If I am elected president my first act will be to pass a law that will mandate all municipalities to let old hockey players determine when pond ice is thick enough to skate on." He went on to say, " Minnesota may be "The State of Hockey" but Concord is the cradle of hockey in the U.S. It all started here in Concord and I think if we are going to have a hockey playing president then it is only fitting that I should kick off my campaign here." The presidential candidate made sure his trip to Concord included watching Thursday Night Hockey which he said is watched closely by hockey fans in the "Land of a Thousand Lakes". He was pleased to see fellow Minnesotan Tom "TC" Carroll score a hat trick. "He was like a kid in a candy store", said TC. Pawlenty put on a UNH jersey and posed in the locker room with some of the Blue stars. Unfortunately he couldn't wear a Bud Light Blue jersey, but, he settled for a UNH Wildcat jersey. " I'm sold on The Granite State", he said, "I hope the Wildcats kick some Gopher ass in the NCAA tournament!"
The bars and resturants will be open early next thursday in anticipation of Game 5. A number of players were "healthy scratches" for game four including Dunc "Coach" Walsh who has been in and out of Toe's doghouse all season long. When asked about whether Walsh would suit up for game five, Blakey said, "It'll be a game time decision". We will see, but regardless, it's going to be a special St.Patrick's evening at the Doug. Game fives? They're magically delicious!

New Leads in Assassination Attempt

Just days after The Pucking Files broke the story of an assassination attempt on Chris "Brownie" Brown the FBI released papers containing information about the ongoing investigation. Two more suspects have been brought in for questioning. Both denied any involvement with Hassan Bin Sobar but sources say they have evidence that both suspects have corresponded with Sobar in the past. The FBI released these photos.

Plot to Stop Black Ice Tourney Disclosed!

A reporter working for The Pucking Files has uncovered an FBI report that reveals evidence withhled from the public about an assassination attempt on Chris "Brownie' Brown's life the night before the Black Ice Tournament. The report said that shots were fired at Mr. Brown while he sat in the command center at White's Park just about ten hours prior to the start of the Black Ice tournament. The would-be assassin had been keeping a close eye on his target because he found the opportune moment when Mr. Brown was seperated from his entourage who were gathered in an adjacent RV trailer conducting a taste test of the newly released Black Ice Ale. The bullets missed Mr. Brown by mere inches. The noise level in the RV was high enough as to drown out the sound of the gunshots. In the report the FBI in conjunction with the CIA have followed leads that may link the assassination plot to a terrorist group that targeted the tournament because of its symbolic identification with USA Hockey. The group believed to be responsible is a Canadien cell with ties to the middle east as well as the far west and the deep south. Although no arrests have been made at this point, CIA and FBI agents are linking the shooting to this man (pictured). Hassan Bin Sobar is believed to be operating out of a mosque on Gilmore Street. The radical cleric has been holding "meetings" at the mosque for several years now. The mosque is located only a block from the site of the dog fighting ring that had made the news late last year. No connection has been made between the two sites. The report goes on to say that although agents have questioned Hassam Bin Sobar several times,

there is not enough evidence to arrest him at this time. We will reveal more on this case as it becomes available to us at The Pucking Files. If you have any information regarding this crime please call or email The Pucking Files. All calls will be kept confidential.

Green Spanks Blue in Game 3

It didn't take long for Green to take the lead in game three. Just six seconds into the game Jim "Cummy" Commoford (awarded the game chair for his four goals) put Green on the scoreboard and Green never looked back. The rockus Blue crowd at the Ev was silenced by a barrage of goals by Green and it was so quiet in the arena that you would have thought Blakey was the only one in the crowd. By the end of the first period it was five to nil. Solid netminding by Kenny B. kept any chances of a Blue comeback at bay. Blue's frustration was capped off by a penalty shot awarded to Green speedster Andy "BTO" Bauchman. After Rudz turned the puck over with an ill-advised pass, "BTO" put it in "overdrive" and headed off to the races. Dunc "Coach" Walsh who was moved back to defense to try and shore up a leaky Blue defense corp had no chance of catching the speedy winger, so he did what he had to do; hooked him. Referee Phil Lacasse who was reinstated by league officials after looking into allegations that he was drinking before games awarded Green the penalty shot. Andy fooled Blue goalie Tom "Harry" Harrison with a change-up shot that completely schooled Harry. Blue had a chance to get back in the game with under a minute to play when Rudz missed a wide open goal that would have pulled Blue within eight and made the last ten seconds into a real nail biter. "We definitely missed our captain last night", said Jack "Jackhammer" Fraiser referring to Joe "Joe" Farrelly who was out with a foot injury that was a resualt of a slapshot he took last week that shattered the skate of George "Dumpin" Chase and the aftershock from the blast was felt even by Farrelly himself who said that he had trouble skating after that. Team doctor Rich Rosatto said, "Our bodies are not built to withstand that kind of pressure. Nobody should shoot a puck that hard and expect that people won't get hurt".
Green now takes a crucial lead in the series and Blue is going to have regroup for game four. We have to be ready from the opening face off said Todd "Philby" Philbrick. "If we don't do a better job in game four we may find ourselves at Sunday meetings sooner than we'd like."