Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bogged Down and Dirty


The Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament has run into a mud wall. The dredging of White Park Pond in order to make room for two more rinks came to a grinding halt, but no one seemed to know why. An undisclosed source has informed The Pucking Files that a strange find was buried in the mud of the pond. The well preserved body of what is believed to be an ancient Penacook Indian was found completely preserved in the mud. Dr Louis Squeeky of the Museum of Natural History was brought in when officials from the NH State Historical Society contacted the museum about the find. Dr. Squeeky indentified the body as an adult male native american dating back 400 years. "The high acidity levels of the mud acted like embalming fluid", Dr. Squeeky said.
"This discovery is so important that we believe the park should be shut down to the public and a team of anthropologist should be brought in. The pond should be drained so the team can excavate the site properly. It is quite possible that many more bodies may be buried under all that mud", he continued. However, a spokesperson from the mayor's office told the NH Historical Society that Dr. Squeeky and his team of anthropologist are going to have to wait until after the Black Ice Tournament is over on January 30th before they can drain the pond. The NH Historical Society (NHHS) insisted that it is too urgent to wait and filed an injunction with the state to halt the Black Ice tournament and begin draining the pond immediately. So, the battle is underway between science and sports. "It is going to get ugly", said Dave Gill, the head of Concord's Park and Recreation. "The Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament is the best thing to happen to this town in the past one hundred and twenty eight years." The Pucking Files will be bringing you updates on the situation as soon as they are made available to us.

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