This year's Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships will be as FRIGID as an old maid. Unlike last year's delayed start due to balmy temperatures, this year it will be plenty cold. You can expect wind chills hovering around zero. We may also see some snow falling on friday and saturday. Cimo is going to be pumping in plenty of hot chocolate from the city's vast reserve's buried deep beneath the park.
Our most excellent rink crews will be facing bitter temps as they set up the eight rinks in preparation for friday's opening ceremony. Our crews will be steeped in anti-freeze as well as their can-do attitudes. That's why this is without question, The Greatest Show on Earth. One question on the minds of many fans is: Will new governor Maggie Hassan Bin Sobar be dropping the ceremonial first puck?
One word of caution for any law breakers: If we catch you on the ice when it says Keep Off, we'll feed you to our polar bear. Officer Bo Jackson has his eye on you suckers. Bo knows. So don't do what those other guys did. That was before Brownie bought the polar bear.
A word of warning to other teams in the fifty and over division: The Turkey Pond Flyers have been practicing twice a day. Early mornings without pucks and late afternoons without cups. Besides that, they have jackets! It has been rumored that the Budmen are all getting company cars if they repeat this year. With all wheel drive too!
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