Black & Blue Ice

You can always tell when the Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships are near because the NAHL gets a snarl. Last night was the chippiest and hardest hitting game of the season between league rivals Blue and Green. Referee Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse had his hands full. League officials looked at video replay to determine if any suspensions would be handed out. Said league president Paul "Pop" Gozaweizle,  "We take this very seriously and some players may be in jeopardy of missing games at the upcoming Black Ice Pond Hockey Champioships".  By 2 a.m. this morning the league had made their assessment and handed out fines as well as one suspension. One player was suspended. That was the young brash Blue defenseman Dave "Motor" Carlson.  He will not be allowed to participate in the Black Ice tournament. "After watching the films, we determined Carlson was reckless and was intent on injuring someone. His hit to the head on Dunc "Coach" Walsh and his viscous slash on Ryan "Silky" Brandt  were just two incidents that stand out in our minds as reason for the suspension", said Gozaweizle.  Walsh was taken to Concord Hospital for a brain scan. The scan showed acute brain trauma. He will be reevaluated on thursday by "Tilly" to determine if he will be able to play in the Black Ice tournament. Brandt's forearm was lacerated. He was stitched up on the bench by  teammate Tom "Philby" Philbrick, but Brandt didn't miss a shift. "The thread was still hanging out of his arm on one shift  because because Philbrick could not get all twenty stitches complete before Brandt's next shift. "When "Silky" came back to the bench I put the last eight stitches in his arm. I got a lot better at it by the end. I'm thinking of going back to school to become a doctor", said Philby.  Philbrick was credited with assists on all of Brandt's three goals. Silky earned second star honors for his play at both ends of the ice. The game was a back and forth affair with lead exchanges multiple times. In the third period Tom "TC" Carroll took over the game and led the Blue charge from the blue line. TC scored a hat trick and added two assists. The five point night earned Carroll the first star of the game honors and lifted him up into second place in the league scoring race, just one point behind league leading scorer Tom "Shemp" Champagne who had a goal and an assist on the night. Both players are on pace to break the 100 point mark this season. The third star of the game went to Jim "The Big Cum" Commerford who had two goals and two assists. His linemate Phil "Commish" Stuart had three assists which moved him from 108th to 39th in league scoring. Blue's 8-6 win over Green moved them into a tie in the eastern conference. History shows that the team who wins the last game before the Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships goes on the win the league title 85% of the time. That's good news for Blue fans.
The Pucking Files has been doing some investigation into the Manti Te'o scandal and discovered that there is a lot more to the story than has been reported up until this point. They found this photo of Lennay Kekua sitting on Johnny Manziel's car hood. The Samoan beauty was apparently dating "Johnny Football" in the weeks leading up to the National Championship game. Manti Te'o was so distraught to find out that Kekua was sleeping with Manziel that he made up the rumor that she had died. "In his mind she was dead", said Manziel. "He couldn't face the fact that the guy who stole his Heisman also stole his girl". "Lennay is not dead at all. She is alive and well and living at my place. She's polishing my Heisman trophy as we speak", Manziel added. "I feel bad for Manti. He needs to get a grip on reality and realize that he lost. He's going to have to get over it. I suggest that he sign up on Match.com and find himself another girl; one that he can handle. Lennay and I are in love and it's a love that will make even Brent Musberger say silly things".
Don't forget to look for the special Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships installment coming out on monday . Find out where all your favorite NAHL stars will be throughout the tournament.