Two Timer!

MVP Dunc "Coach" Walsh

Despite the worry on everyone's minds, the NAHL Thursday Night Awards Ceremony went on last night at The Capitol Center for the Arts. The Ceremony had been postponed after it had been learned that Moe Rudz, a long time supporter and champion of causes for the NAHL, had been abducted by North Korean forces while on a panda safari on the Chinese and Korean border. "Moe would have wanted the show to go on", said Andy "BTO" Bachmann. "He loved the Awards Ceremony", said Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madley" Bradley. "He'd always drink three or four bottles of champagne and start singing "she'd be comin round the mountain" and we'd have to carry him to his limo after he'd fall off the stage. What a hoot!", added Bradley.

Moe Rudz in happier times

This year's ceremony was also a fundraiser to help aid in the rescue of Moe. It included some memorable performances including a song and dance number which featured fifty female dancers dressed up as North Korean soldiers (see photo). The event raised over a million dollars. Half of the earnings will go to their annual cause "Hockey Fights  Obesity" and the other half will go to "Operation Moe" which is the rescue mission dedicated to bringing Moe Rudz back to the United States. In the end however, it was the award presentation which brought the loudest applause of the night when it was announced that the winner of "The Vic" as league MVP went to Dunc "Coach" Walsh. He is the first and only player to win the award twice.  On hand to congratulate Walsh was last years MVP Phil "Commish" Stuart. "He deserves it. His commitment to excellence is unsurpassed. He came to training camp last year in top form. His focus all season was unquestioned. He led by example. He kept quiet. He never complained. He let his play do the talking. His teammates fed off of that and that is why they went to the finals", said the Commish. The other award winners were as follows:
"The Leebo" Most Points: Jim "Heathy" Heath.  "The Swoop" Most Goals: Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh.  "The Pike" Most Assists: George "Dumpin" Chase.  "The Hugger" Best Defenseman: Dan "Too Late" Early.   "The Stuffy" Best Goalie: Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean.  "The Dunnie" Best Plus/Minus: Chris "Brownie" Brown. "The Garbo" Rookie of the Year: John "Bigfoot" Reagan.  "The Lady Bung" Most Sportsmanlike: Tom "Philby" Philbrick. "The Bud" Coach of the Year: John "Stuffy" Stevenson.  "The Pie" Comeback Player of the Year: Tom "Painch" Painchaud.
"The Murph" 7th Player: Joe "Joe" Farrelly.   "The Tatahead" 8th Player: Dave "Tilly" Tillotson.
"The Larry Flynt" Hustler: Gregg Moffett.   "The Phonzie" Black Ice MVP: Tom "Berg" Bourgault.
"The Hazy" Most Improved: Dave "Motor" Carlson.  "The Goofy" Best Brothers: Jim "The Big Cum" and Mike "The Little Cum" Commerford.  "The Red Onion" Best Referee: Billy "Hawkeye" MacDougal.  "The Dick Pinch" Fun in the Shower: Todd "Philby" Philbrick

Asiana Flight 214 Linked to The Knat

Flight 214

The CIA has confirmed that the crash of flight 214 just days after the crash of "The Knat" was no coincidence. Both planes left from Seoul, South Korea and both pilots had spent the night before with the now confirmed North Korean agents Poon Soon Sang and Tang Sang Song. A photo shows the two terrorist posing as stewardesses with a pilot from Asiana Airlines identified as Lee Kang, the pilot of flight 214. Lee admitted that he had been drinking Jagermiester with the two women who told him that they were new stewardesses who had just begun working for the airline. It is reported that one of them asked Lee to bring a package to her grandmother who lived in San Francisco. Lee admits that he agreed to do so. Locating that package may be a key piece of evidence. South Korean agent Fung Yoo told CIA officials that these were the same two women that spent the evening of July 2nd with Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Mark Rudz just hours prior to their take off from Seoul. Their airplane, The Knat, experienced engine failure and the two reportedly parachuted out into a remote region of North Korea. No contact has been made with the two since their may-day call to "Joe" Farrelly. The CIA sent a reconnaissance plane to the region and were successful at locating the wreckage of The Knat (see photo), but they were unable to locate "The White Pond Duo" as bad weather moved in to the area and the search had to be aborted.

Poon Soon Sang & Tang Sang Song with pilot Lee

Agent Fung Yoo said that Poon & Tang were always one step ahead of him. "They are extremely slippery", said Fung. "They are very cunning linguists. They speak seven different languages. This is what makes them so difficult too nail." When asked why the two would target flight 214, Fung said, "They had somehow managed to obtain top secret information that another South Korean agent named Sum Phat Peeg was on board that flight. He was on his way to the U.S to meet with Joe "Joe" Farrelly about the rescue of Moe Rudz who is allegedly being held in Camp 22 in a remote section of North Korea". Peeg is in critical condition and in a coma. His injuries are extensive and life threatening. "Obviously things have now gotten extremely complicated for our rescue attempt of Moe Rudz",  Farrelly told The Pucking Files. "I'm concerned that the North Koreans are on to us and any new people involved may be in danger of an ambush. I know there are some guys who want to get Poon & Tang, but we need to let cool heads prevail. Phase two of our rescue is now on hold until we can be sure that no more guys from Thursday Night are going to end up as statistics.

Wreckage of The Knat

Seoul Survivors

White Pond Duo gone Gangnam Style in Seoul

Jagermiester Girls Poon and Tang

The rescue attempt  to free entrepreneur  Moe Rudz from a North Korean prison is now in question with news that two members from  "Operation Moe" are now listed as "missing" after their airplane known simply as "The Knat" has gone down in  a remote area in North Korea. The Knat was being flown by Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly, the younger brother of Joe "Joe" Farrelly who heads up "Operation Moe" and Mark Rudz, the younger brother of Moe Rudz, the eccentric billionaire publisher and adventurer who's very life they are trying to save. The Knat had successfully located the hidden prison camp in the mountains of North Korea where it is believed that Moe is being detained. The two then proceeded to Seoul, South Korea for refueling as well as meeting with South Korean agent Fung Yoo who was to provide them with more detailed information about the prison called  "Camp 22".  Farrelly and Rudz were reported to have enjoyed the evening reveling in the Seoul nightlife. They went clubbing and danced "Gangnam Style" to the music of hip hop sensation "Psy". A report said that "the two drank numerous Jager bombs with their escorts Tang Sang Song and Poon Soon Sang before heading back to their airplane just before dawn. South Korean officials at the airbase reported that "The Knat took off successfully at 5:22 am  on July 3rd under good weather conditions".  Joe "Joe" Farrelly received a text just before midnight eastern standard time from brother Mike saying that they were "experiencing an engine malfunction" and that the Knat was "losing altitude" and that they were planning on "bailing out" over an "extremely remote wooded area in the mountains". That is the last communication that Joe Farrelly has received from the crew of The Knat. "At this point, I would have to say that I am very concerned", said a sullen Farrelly. "These guys are parachuting into an unknown enemy region. I don't know how much supplies they were able to take with them. They do not speak the language and they are probably very hungover. The only good news we can take from all this is that they were able to send us the coordinates to locate "Camp 22" where we believe Moe is being held. We just  have to hope for the best and proceed forward knowing that these guys are survivors. You don't count out the "White Pond Duo". You can't!" When asked about what he meant by "proceed forward", Farrelly said, "We are about to shift to phase two of the mission. Our goal is to free Moe Rudz and that has to be our focus."
The Pucking Files will keep you posted of any further developments as we receive them.

Knat So Fast

Siberia as photographed from The Knat

Camp 22 North Korea

 The crew of The Knat has managed against all odds to reach North Korea and locate the prision camp that is believed to hold Moe Rudz. Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Mark Rudz sent these photos via the internet showing their journey over Siberia and down into the Korean Pennisula. Joe "Joe" Farrelly told The Pucking Files that he has had close contact with the crew of The Knat since they departed Concord, N.H. last week. They reported favorable weather conditions and winds which helped them reach North Korea two days earlier than expected. "They sent back information that identifies the prison camp they believes holds Moe Rudz", said Farrelly. The crew were led to the location from an unidentified South Korean freedom fighter who gave them a basic layout of the remote region that contains "Camp 22", the notorious inhumane slave labor camp in the mountainous region of North Korea. "This information is a big step in helping to rescue Moe", said Joe, "but we should not jump to any conclusion that Moe is actually there without further investigation". "This is where things can get tricky", said Joe. "We've got to get Mike and Mark on the ground to verify that Moe is detained inside Camp 22 and that is extremely dangerous." The two plan to land in South Korea to refuel and pick up supplies as well as meet with South Korean agents to obtain information. Meanwhile, Joe "Joe" Farrelly is preparing a second squadron of "Thursday's Finest" as he calls them to make the journey to North Korea once the information is verified. "They'll be ready once we get the call to move ahead", Farrelly told us. "These guys are from the NAHL's Thursday Night League. They are used to adversity."

Operation Moe Takes Flight

In the wee hours of the morning an aging  airplane took off from Concord's airport without any fanfare. It ascended out over the Merrimack River and turned north and disappeared above the clouds. The aircraft is on route to North Korea taking a dangerous journey up over the North Pole carrying two men who are on a mission to save another man. That man is Moe Rudz, the billionaire publisher and adventurer who is reportedly being held in a Communist slave labor camp somewhere in the remote mountains of North Korea. The two men who volunteered for this perilous journey are none other than the infamous "White Pond Duo".  Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Mark Rudz are flying the aged aircraft on a wing and prayer. The airplane has been sitting in a rusty hanger since 1956. The airship named "The Knat" belonged to Moe and Mark's Rudz grandfather  Maurice. He had been Hobey Baker's airplane mechanic during WW1. Farrelly and Rudz worked on the airplane with the help of Tom "Harry" Harrison for the past month preparing it for the dangerous mission they have embarked upon. Their trip is being monitored by Joe "Joe" Farrelly who heads up "Operation Moe".  "They're mission is to try and locate the prison and then we will send in reinforcements to attempt the rescue", said Farrelly. "I have complete confidence in these two guys". The Pucking Files will keep abreast (he said breast) of all the developments as they are reported to us.
Another developing story that is taking place is that Chicago Blackhawk winger Patrick Kane has turned into a unicorn following the Blackhawk's capture of the Stanley Cup. The players were out celebrating in a bar when Kane miraculously turned into a unicorn. Said teammate Jonathan Toews, "I'm not surprised. Everything seems to be going Patrick's way. There is something special about that guy. Turning into a unicorn is just par for the course". Stan Bowman is not as smitten with the transformation. "I just hope he changes back by the time training camp begins".

Duncan Keith and Patrick Kane

All Tied Up!

The Bruins tied the series last night with a thrilling OT victory in Chicago. Claude Julien told the Pucking Files, "We dedicated this game to Moe Rudz". "He means so much to our organization and to hockey around the world." "If we win the Cup, we're are going to petition to get Moe's name on it". "He is actually Lord Stanely's bastard great grandson which most people are not aware of."
"We are hoping for his safe return".

Moe being kicked in the head by guard. Ouch!

The rescue team organized by Joe "Joe" Farrelly met at Joe's house yesterday to go over the final details before they part for the Korean pennisula next week. "We have been training hard for the past few weeks and we are waiting for clearance from the Pentagon to proceed with "Operation Moe". We know he is alive because he was able to sneak this drawing to us from the prison camp with the help of some South Korean freedom fighters.  The drawing is very disturbing and it makes it quite clear that time is of the essence", said Farrelly. "I am confident that the guys we have choosen for this mission have only two things on their minds; Getting Moe back alive and watching the Stanley Cup finals. Nothing else matters to them". "Well, maybe a third thing.They also want to see  Miss Massachusetts mud wrestle Miss Illinois. They are only human after all".

Original Six Pack Final

Bruin's muckers and grinders!

With the Bruins sweep of the Penquins on friday and the Chicago Blackhawks double OT victory against the Kings last night, the stage is set for the first Original Six Stanley Cup final since 1979.  It may be shades of the Esposito Brothers battles in the seventies. Whether it was Bobby Orr's spin-o-ramas, Bobby Hull's slap shot or Stan Makita facing off against Derek Sanderson, whenever the Bruins and Blackhawks got together, it was always entertaining. We can expect an epic series starting on wednesday night. Hairy Smellnose has the Blackhawks in seven and Jimmy the Geek has the Bruins in six. So grab a six pack and enjoy some Original six hockey action. This could be the best final since Blue vs. Green.