Bogged Down and Dirty

The Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament has run into a mud wall. The dredging of White Park Pond in order to make room for two more rinks came to a grinding halt, but no one seemed to know why. An undisclosed source has informed The Pucking Files that a strange find was buried in the mud of the pond. The well preserved body of what is believed to be an ancient Penacook Indian was found completely preserved in the mud. Dr Louis Squeeky of the Museum of Natural History was brought in when officials from the NH State Historical Society contacted the museum about the find. Dr. Squeeky indentified the body as an adult male native american dating back 400 years. "The high acidity levels of the mud acted like embalming fluid", Dr. Squeeky said.

"This discovery is so important that we believe the park should be shut down to the public and a team of anthropologist should be brought in. The pond should be drained so the team can excavate the site properly. It is quite possible that many more bodies may be buried under all that mud", he continued. However, a spokesperson from the mayor's office told the NH Historical Society that Dr. Squeeky and his team of anthropologist are going to have to wait until after the Black Ice Tournament is over on January 30th before they can drain the pond. The NH Historical Society (NHHS) insisted that it is too urgent to wait and filed an injunction with the state to halt the Black Ice tournament and begin draining the pond immediately. So, the battle is underway between science and sports. "It is going to get ugly", said Dave Gill, the head of Concord's Park and Recreation. "The Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament is the best thing to happen to this town in the past one hundred and twenty eight years." The Pucking Files will be bringing you updates on the situation as soon as they are made available to us.

Horseplay! Blue Gallops Past Green

Green scored early, but Blue scored often on their way to a convincing victory that landed them alone atop the league standings. Defending champs Green dropped down into third place as Yellow moved up into second with their win over Maroon earlier in the evening. "We were thoroughly out played all night long", said a disappointed Coach Toe Blake. Last year's MVP, Dunc "Coach" Walsh got Blue on the scoreboard to knot it up at one apiece. "It was the first time he looked comfortable out there since he donned his visor", said his centerman Tom "Philby" Philbrick who led Blue with six points. Philby earned first star honors with Jeff "Kano" Kane and Phil "Commish" Stewart named second and third stars of the game. Last night's game debuted "helmovision" technology which provided fans around the world a player's view of the intensity of the world's greatest league. "It's UNBELIEVABLE!" "AWEFULly good hockey!", said one fan. The technology was the brainchild of billionaire publisher Moe Rudz who's funding made it possible to broadcast via satellite world wide. Moe was not there however to view the historic broadcast. He was in Happy Valley where he just donated a new zamboni for the Nittany Lions hockey team which is now vying to be the number one sport in Happy Valley. "We are going in a new direction", said a school spokesperson. "We are even thinking of changing the name from Nittany Lions to the Pink Panthers.

Moe's visit was two-fold as it is rumored that he is financing the new documentary film "Horseplay" which focuses on one player's journey from a high school tight end to a college wide receiver. "It shows the commitment to excellence that is the back bone of the program", said Franco Harris, the unemployed former Penn State running back.

Hipshake n Bake! Blue Stuns Green

The storied rivalry of Green and Blue added another chapter to what is arguably the greatest rivalry in sports. With two minutes remaining and the score all knotted, Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly put the ol' shake n bake on Blue's Joe "Say It Aint So" Farrelly and turned him inside out. He then swooped in on beleaguered backstop Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madley" Bradley and slipped a nifty backhander into the net and lifted the Green faithful out of their seats. The goal came less than a minute after Blue's Jim "Cummy" Commerford had just tied the game when he ripped a twisted wrista past Kenny "Rebel Without a Save" Dean. It was a wide open see-saw battle which had the lamp lit so many times that it caused a brown-out in the Capital City reported a spokesperson from Unitil. The scoring was led by Andy "BTO" Bachman whose five goals should have earned him first star honors, but Hipshake's flair for the dramatic bumped BTO down to the number two star postion. Bachman showed that last week's cheap shot only lit a fire under him and he was playing with a sense of purpose. Third star went to Tom "TC" Carroll who scored four goals. Twice the game had to be halted while hats were cleared off the ice. Both Kenny's were treated at Concord Hospital for 3rd degree burns on the back of their necks. After the game reporters caught up to Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly who told them, "I've always known that my brother Joe has difficulty turning to his left and so I exploited the only flaw in his game." When "Joe" was told about his comments, he fired back, " The only other time my brother Mike ever got around me was in a street hockey game on Gilmore St. in 1968." Joe's team won that game twenty three to eighteen. "We were coming back on them and probably would have beat them had my mother not called us home for supper", recalled Hipshake. Missing from last night's contest was Dave "Tilly" Tillotson who sat himself out in response to his abusive comments he made the week before to referee Phil Lacasse.

Don't forget hockey fans; this tuesday November 15th, the celebration for the upcoming 2012 Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships kicks off at 5 pm at NHD. You are invited to taste your beloved Black Ice Ale. There will be Black Ice merchandise for sale and many of the Stars of Thursday Night will be on hand. It will be a great evening so, come on down and bring the family.

Green Climbs Back On Top

Behind the stellar performance of Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madley" Bradley, Green moved back into first place with a road victory over rival Blue. This was the last game of a four game road trip that saw Green earn wins over Yellow, Red, Teal and Blue and move back on top of the league standings. "We didn't start the season the way we would have liked", said Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly, whose efforts earned him second star of the game, but, we are back to playing good solid two-way hockey and it is paying off". The league experimented with a new two referee system, but league officials nixed the idea immediately following the game. "It was AWEFUL!", said Dunc "Coach" Walsh, about the officiating. "Phil doesn't work well with others", he added, "never did, never will". Much to the surprise of everyone, that "other" ref was none other than Dave Maznek, the oft-missing former player of Thursday Night Hockey. It had been rumored that Maznek was buried under the new floor of the Doug, but last night's appearance has many people now thinking that perhaps there is no validity to that claim. Maznek's long absence from the game was parodied by officials from the Black Ice Tournament with a game called "Where's Maznek" in which people are urged to find him somewhere in the crowd on the new Black Ice poster. Hint: He's not with Waldo. Last night's game however, had so many missed calls that it led many to wonder, where's Phil? The game was chippy and it came close to getting out of hand after an blatant hit-from-behind on Andy "BTO" Bachman, the speedy Green winger. "It was obviously intentional", said Tom "Berg" Bergault. "This guy Rudz has been getting away with kind of crap for years and his brother Moe always bails him out of any suspensions." "What is it going to take before the league does something about these kinds of hits", said Tom "Philby" Philbrick. "We looked at the tape many times last night and we saw nothing illegal about the hit", said Ray Charles, the head of league officiating. "That's BULLSHIt!", remarked Jim "Heathy" Heath after learning of Ray's assessment. Heathy was named the games number three star last night. Things went from bad to worse when Dave "Tilly" Tillotson began abusing both officials about what he perceived as a missed offsides call that led to a Dunc Walsh goal that pulled Blue to within one. " You don't talk to the ref that way no matter what you think the call should be", said Walsh. "It's uncalled for and I think he owes Phil an apology", he added. Walsh told reporters, "We should've beaten these guys. They are the softest team we've played". The remark raised the ire of Tilly who replied to it by saying, "For a guy who has never won anything other than six state championships, he should probably keep him mouth shut and his head up". Despite the ugly incidents that occurred, we can't over look the entertainment value of last night's game. Blue's comeback was halted when Heath put a perfect tape to tape pass on the stick of sniper Mike "Little Cummy" Commorford who caught Kenny "Rebel Without a Rebound" Dean off guard and fired the puck past the surprised goalie. The goal took the Blue crowd out of the game. Green called up rookie defenseman Dave "Don't Call Me Kent" Carlson who had been playing down in the Manchester Stick & Puck program. "I was little nervous at first", Carlson said, "but playing alongside veteran Ryan "Silky" Brandt made the jump to bigs much smoother." "I was happy with the way the kid played", said Gary "Toe" Blake. "I believe this kid will make his mark in this league someday", he added. Time will tell.

Black Ice Ale is Back!

Last sunday's NH Legends induction was pretty impressive to all those who were in attendence. It was almost as impressive as the Legends of Thursday Night induction last week. Our hats off to Dunc "Coach" Walsh and Ryan "Silky" Brandt for remembering the importance of Thursday Night Hockey on our culture. Coach referred to it as "unbelievable". That it is Coach!
On tuesday November 15th from 5-7 p.m. NHD will be hosting a Black Ice Pond Hockey reception and yes, they will be tapping the world famous Black Ice Ale. We hope to see you there. It is rumored that Hobey Baker will be there, but it may actually be Obie Barker.
Also this Thursday Night we will have a live satellite feed broadcast of the Kaiser's Induction speech from Munich. The Kaiser (or Kyzer as it is spelled in Germany) was spotted at the Legends of NH Hockey ceremony last sunday.

Green Snatches Win on Legendary Night

Last night was special at the Doug not only because Green halted a Blue comeback with a late goal to skate away with the victory to the delight of the Green faithful, however, the crowd was there to also honor the first class of the Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame. The mood was festive as the fans chanted the word "LEGENDS!" over and over throughout the evening's post game ceremony. It also featured the return of Legendary d-man Jim "Heathy" Heath who played brilliantly for Blue with little signs of rust (except that one time). The game featured brilliant goaltending at both ends of the ice. Both teams started goalies called up from the CCHL, Andy Moog for Green and Gump Wobbly for Blue. League leading scorer "Tilly" Tillotson and line mates Dunc "Coach" Walsh and Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh fired at Moog all evening and managed to beat him only occasionally. Forrest Gump was a bit shaky at the start but managed to get shakier as the game progressed. Green got up by three goals, yet Blue stormed back in the third period as "Shemp" Champagne found the back of the net several times. It looked like all the momentum had swung in Blue's favor, but with less than two minutes to go Mark Rudz scored the game winner on a laser shot that no goalie could have stopped (including Harry who remains stranded in Australia after the sinking of the Duke of Lancaster). However, the big story of the night was the induction of Legends "Joe" Farrelly, "Heathy" Heath, "Dumpin" Chase, "Tilly" Tillotson, "Hernia" Fournier and "Kaiser" Gillies who was unable to attend because he was playing nursemaid to Mr. Ed. Billionaire publishing magnet Moe Rudz sent his congratulations from Palm Beach where he was meeting with Saudi Arabia's Prince Abdula and Hassan Bin Sobar. After watching the acceptance speeches on a live podcast, Moe said, "No matter what happens to these guys, they will always be able to hold their heads high and say, "I am a Legend of Thursday Night".

The Legend Continues on Thursday

Continuing our bonus edition of The Files, we focus on the careers of the other three inductees into The Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame.
Jim "Heathy" Heath began his stellar career in the shadow of older brother Glen "Wonder" Heath. Jim was so overshadowed by big brother Glen that he was referred to as "Little Wonder" until High School where he emerged from the shadow of Wonder and earned his nickname "Heathy". It came accidently when playing under the legendary coach Tom "Tarzan" Walton. The roster listed Jim as a "heathy scratch". The misprint stuck with him once they dropped the "scratch". Heathy began turning heads with his play on the ice and on the baseball diamond. He was offered both baseball and hockey scholarships but turned them down in order play professional soccer in Central America. A military coup ended Heathy's soccer dream and landed him back in the Granite State playing for Concord's Budmen. He became a first round choice in the CCHL where he set records in goals and points by a defenseman. His slapshot was clocked at 102 miles per hour during the skills competition. He soon got the call to "The Bigs" where he continues to pile up points.
George "Dumpin" Chase grew up playing hockey on Turkey Pond with Hobey Baker. "He was an older kid at St Paul's that I looked up to", said George. "He used to tease me and call me "four eyes". George, the tall skinny kid with glasses became a standout at Milton Academy where he became half of the dynamic duo of "Chase & Kineally". He went on to skate for Bowdin College and was drafted by the NHAL. It was here that Coach Gary "Toe" Blake converted him to a defenseman and taught him "the ol' dumpin chase" tactic which Chase perfected. George also has been the coach of the Lady Paulies for the past decade.
Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies is part of "the first family of hockey" which consisted of three goalies; father Bruce, brother Bruce "the rooster" and brother Chris. "I had very little net to shoot at with all of them blocking the goal" said Kaiser, but, that's why I developed the ability to find the back of the net in impossible situations. After a stellar career for the Crimson Tide, the puck-moving defenseman went to Canada to play Junior A hockey where he caught the eye of the German olympic team. Since Kurt was the grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm for whom he is named, he was eligible to skate for Team Germany. Just before the start of the 1976 winter olympics, Kurt was accused by an Israeli court of nazi war crimes, but he was later cleared of all charges. Unfortunately for the Kaiser and for Germany he was unable to play in the 76 olympics because he was being held in a Tel Aviv prison. After his ordeal, Kurt returned to Concord and began playing in the CCHL where he was also known as "the Minister of Defence". "He was so difficult to play against" said former Montreal Canadien Kent Carlson, "that I used to vomit before games against him". The Kaiser jumped to the NAHL when he was offered a huge multi-year deal that included beer and pizza. He was the mainstay for Green in their championship run last year.