Friday, October 28, 2011

Green Snatches Win on Legendary Night


Last night was special at the Doug not only because Green halted a Blue comeback with a late goal to skate away with the victory to the delight of the Green faithful, however, the crowd was there to also honor the first class of the Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame. The mood was festive as the fans chanted the word "LEGENDS!" over and over throughout the evening's post game ceremony. It also featured the return of Legendary d-man Jim "Heathy" Heath who played brilliantly for Blue with little signs of rust (except that one time). The game featured brilliant goaltending at both ends of the ice. Both teams started goalies called up from the CCHL, Andy Moog for Green and Gump Wobbly for Blue. League leading scorer "Tilly" Tillotson and line mates Dunc "Coach" Walsh and Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh fired at Moog all evening and managed to beat him only occasionally. Forrest Gump was a bit shaky at the start but managed to get shakier as the game progressed. Green got up by three goals, yet Blue stormed back in the third period as "Shemp" Champagne found the back of the net several times. It looked like all the momentum had swung in Blue's favor, but with less than two minutes to go Mark Rudz scored the game winner on a laser shot that no goalie could have stopped (including Harry who remains stranded in Australia after the sinking of the Duke of Lancaster). However, the big story of the night was the induction of Legends "Joe" Farrelly, "Heathy" Heath, "Dumpin" Chase, "Tilly" Tillotson, "Hernia" Fournier and "Kaiser" Gillies who was unable to attend because he was playing nursemaid to Mr. Ed. Billionaire publishing magnet Moe Rudz sent his congratulations from Palm Beach where he was meeting with Saudi Arabia's Prince Abdula and Hassan Bin Sobar. After watching the acceptance speeches on a live podcast, Moe said, "No matter what happens to these guys, they will always be able to hold their heads high and say, "I am a Legend of Thursday Night".

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Legend Continues on Thursday


Continuing our bonus edition of The Files, we focus on the careers of the other three inductees into The Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame.
Jim "Heathy" Heath began his stellar career in the shadow of older brother Glen "Wonder" Heath. Jim was so overshadowed by big brother Glen that he was referred to as "Little Wonder" until High School where he emerged from the shadow of Wonder and earned his nickname "Heathy". It came accidently when playing under the legendary coach Tom "Tarzan" Walton. The roster listed Jim as a "heathy scratch". The misprint stuck with him once they dropped the "scratch". Heathy began turning heads with his play on the ice and on the baseball diamond. He was offered both baseball and hockey scholarships but turned them down in order play professional soccer in Central America. A military coup ended Heathy's soccer dream and landed him back in the Granite State playing for Concord's Budmen. He became a first round choice in the CCHL where he set records in goals and points by a defenseman. His slapshot was clocked at 102 miles per hour during the skills competition. He soon got the call to "The Bigs" where he continues to pile up points.
George "Dumpin" Chase grew up playing hockey on Turkey Pond with Hobey Baker. "He was an older kid at St Paul's that I looked up to", said George. "He used to tease me and call me "four eyes". George, the tall skinny kid with glasses became a standout at Milton Academy where he became half of the dynamic duo of "Chase & Kineally". He went on to skate for Bowdin College and was drafted by the NHAL. It was here that Coach Gary "Toe" Blake converted him to a defenseman and taught him "the ol' dumpin chase" tactic which Chase perfected. George also has been the coach of the Lady Paulies for the past decade.
Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies is part of "the first family of hockey" which consisted of three goalies; father Bruce, brother Bruce "the rooster" and brother Chris. "I had very little net to shoot at with all of them blocking the goal" said Kaiser, but, that's why I developed the ability to find the back of the net in impossible situations. After a stellar career for the Crimson Tide, the puck-moving defenseman went to Canada to play Junior A hockey where he caught the eye of the German olympic team. Since Kurt was the grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm for whom he is named, he was eligible to skate for Team Germany. Just before the start of the 1976 winter olympics, Kurt was accused by an Israeli court of nazi war crimes, but he was later cleared of all charges. Unfortunately for the Kaiser and for Germany he was unable to play in the 76 olympics because he was being held in a Tel Aviv prison. After his ordeal, Kurt returned to Concord and began playing in the CCHL where he was also known as "the Minister of Defence". "He was so difficult to play against" said former Montreal Canadien Kent Carlson, "that I used to vomit before games against him". The Kaiser jumped to the NAHL when he was offered a huge multi-year deal that included beer and pizza. He was the mainstay for Green in their championship run last year.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Class Act: Legends of Thursday Night Hockey


The first class of the new Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame will be honored on Thursday Night. It is a star-studded cast headed by Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the driving force behind Thursday Night Hockey. Joe grew up in the tough Gilmore St. area of the Concord and for him hockey was "a way out". Farrelly, never one to follow conventional wisdom, carved his own path in hockey history. He enrolled at Bishop Brady High School which in those days was considered a hockey dead end, but he helped turn the Green Giants into a hockey power house. In 1973 Joe anchored the defense and helped lead the Brady squad to within nine seconds of a state championship. "We had em and all we had to do was skate the puck out of our zone", lamented Farrelly. Joe set an all-time mark for ice-time logged. It is a record that will probably never be broken. "It speaks volumes of Farrelly's abilities", said Phil "Commish" Stewart, "because that team was so deep in talent." A drinking problem kept Joe out of the UNH line up, but that didn't prevent the Concord Budmen from selecting him number one in the draft. "He could do it all for the Budmen", said Burns "Hugger" Hovey, the Budmen coach. Although the Budmen never won the Stanley Cup, they did win some games in Farrelly's years with the team. Farrelly's greatest contribution to the game of hockey, however, came when he convinced the best players of the Capitol City League to come with him and join the new NAHL. "It took balls to do that", said Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly, "but Joe had em the size of coconuts". Although many thought it would never fly, Joe knew what the public wanted and the moved re-energized hockey in the Capital City and left the old Capitol City League sinking faster than the Duke of Lancaster. Joe is now the head of Thursday Night Player's Association as well as arguably the league's top defenseman. Joe goes into the Hall in the "builders" category although he usually hires "Harry" to do any building for him.
Joining Joe in this first class are five in the "players" category. They are Dave "Tilly" Tillotson. Tilly learned the game on the black ice of White's Park from his older brother Brian and he went on to play for the Concord Crimson Tide under the legendary coach Dunc Walsh. "I owe it all to Coach Walsh for turning my life around", he said. Tilly went on play college hockey for New Hampshire College where he led them to an appearance in the Frozen Four and he was the runner-up for the Hobey Baker award. Tilly is currently the leading scorer in Thursday Night Hockey.
Joe and Tilly are joined by Greg "Hernia" Fournier, an "innovator" who is credited with inventing the hip check and shot blocking. He might have lead Concord High to it's first state championship had he not been kicked off the team for smoking cigarettes. "In those days cigarettes were cheap so why not smoke", said Hernia. Fournier was also a number one draft pick by the Budmen and played for them for more than thirty years before finally hitting his stride. "The timing was perfect because when Thursday Night Hockey was formed Hernia was turning heads in the Capitol City League", said Joe Farrelly, "we knew a lot of fans would come to the new league if Hernia was playing". He was right. "Thankfully Joe has gotten us huge pay increases because cigarettes are really expensive now", said Fournier.
On wednesday the Pucking Files will highlight the careers of the other three inductees.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Blue Nips Green 9-8

If you found it difficult to get through traffic in the Capitol City yesterday, you weren't alone. Traffic was tied up all over town as fans clamored to get to the Doug to see the premier match up which featured defending champs Green and arch rivals Blue. The fans were treated to an old fashioned "barn burner" as Blue upset the reigning champs 9 to 8. "Wow! That was the best hockey game I have seen since game seven of the 1972 Stanley Cup finals", said vice prez Joe Biden who made the trip up to Concord on Air Force One along with Mike Eurizone as special guest to billionaire publisher Moe Rudz. Eurizone is rumored to be making a run at the presidency in 2012 and Biden offered his support. "Obama is more of a basketball guy and with the NBA lockout looming, I thought I'd switch to the Mucker and Grinder Party", said Joe "Joe" Biden.

The game was a chess match at break-neck speed. Back and forth Blue and Green traded scoring opportunities. Dunc "Coach" Walsh opened the scoring for Blue in the first period, but it was quickly answered by Green's Tom "Shemp" Champagne (the other TC). The Kenny's had all they could do to keep the score in single digits as both squads were moving the puck up and down the Doug all night long. Last night marked the return of Chris "Brownie" Brown and Jeff "Kano" Kane. Both players went to arbitration and were awarded new contracts. Neither player showed any signs of rust OR corrosion. The game was tied 8 to 8 with one minute to play in regulation when Dunc "Coach" Walsh was fed a nifty pass in the slot and one-timed a "slappa" past shell shocked net minder Kenny "Rebel Without a Save" Dean which iced the game for Blue. The goal gave Walsh the hat trick to go along with his "five assists". His line mates Dave "Tilly" Tillotson had "four goals and four assists" and Rich "Doc" Rosoto had "two goals and ten assists". "It was a huge road win for us", said Jim "Cummy" Commorford. "I was pleased with my teams effort", said Coach "Stuffy" Stevenson. "They are well conditioned and it paid off in the third period". Green coach "Toe" Blake was reserved in his appraisal of the Blue victory. "They were o.k. but, we just weren't playing up to our capabilities", he lamented. "MEOW!" This could turn into a dawg-fight as the season wears on. Blue is now in first place and Green is tied with Yellow for second.

LEGENDS OF HOCKEY MONTH continues this month as tickets sales reached an all-time high for this months INDUCTION CEREMONIES. On October 30th at 11:30 at the Grappone Conference Center in Concord, the Legends of NH Hockey will welcome Ryan "Never Say Can't" Brandt and Dunc "Coach" Walsh into the Hall. On Thursday October 27th the LEGENDS OF THURSDAY NIGHT HOCKEY will induct six new members into their Hall. The announcement was made last night on the new jumbotron scoreboard to a roaring approval by the crowd. Five in the "players" category and one in the "builders" category. The six inductees are as follows: Dave "Tilly" Tillotson, Greg "Hernia' Fournier, George "Dumpin" Chase, Jim "Heathy" Heath, Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies and in the builder category Joe "Joe" Farrelly. A panel of hockey writers announced their choices. The panel included such names as Ernest "How Much Does A" Hemmingway, Barry Smelltoes, Roy "Lame" Duckler, Jimmy "The Geek", Moe Rudz and Dr."Cat in the Hat Trick" Suess just to name a few. "We look at everything, not just the stats", said Smelltoes. "These guys have all put up huge numbers over the years AND they have done a lot to give back to the community", he added. The ceremony will take place immediately following next Thursday's rematch between Blue and Green. It is rumored that President Obama will attend to present the awards, but, the White refused to verify this. Be sure to read the Pucking Files for this wednesday's special edition of "Legends" where we will profile the inductees.

Friday, October 14, 2011

As Concord Tasted, Green Gets Pasted

Last week after Green trounced Blue, head coach John "Stuffy" Stevenson made his Blue squad stay on the ice and skate sprints until the wee hours of the morning. They obviously got the message and last night they scorched defending champs Green behind the stellar goaltending from Kenny "Rebel without a Rebound" Dean.

Stevenson made some adjustments to his line-up by sitting some veteran players in favor of young legs which he believed would revitalize Blue. It paid off. "We have high expectations for some of these kids, so why not let them show us what they can do", said Stuffy. "We were really impressed with youngsters Ryan Brandt and Phil Stuart who brought some energy to a deflated Blue offense that last week was held to just one goal". "No one is a lock to stay up with the big club." "Some of these veteran players need to refocus or hang em up", he added. One veteran who didn't disappoint was Tom "TC" Carroll who found the back of the net early and often. "When you know you have a focused goalie back there you tend to have the confidence to take some chances on offense", TC told reporters. Dean had a shut out going until midway through the third period when George "Dumpin" Chase finally got Green on the board. Minutes later Dan "Unlucky" Luker hit the goal post for the tenth time in the game. Last season Luker led the league in goal posts and managed to find the back of the twine only once the entire season. "The pace of last night's game was extremely fast", said referee Phil Lacasse. It was a treat for the many fans who were finally able to get some tickets due in part to the Taste of Concord event in downtown Concord. The game was also broadcast on Hockey Night in Canada. In the early game of the double header Yellow defeated Red and showed why they may be coming on to challenge Blue and Green later in the season. Next week The Pucking Files will announce the names of the five inductees for the Legends of Thursday Night Hall of Fame on October 27th.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Legends of Thursday Night Awards Ceremony

Hockey fans in the Capitol City and throughout the world are marking their calendars for Thursday October 27th as the inaugural Induction Ceremony for the Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame. The ceremony will take place at the world famous Doug N. Everett Arena at the conclusion of the premier match up between rivals Green and Blue. A panel of hockey writers will select five members into the Hall. Billionaire publisher Moe Rudz has donated thirty million dollars to build a state of the art building next to "the Doug" which will eventually be home to the Legends of Thursday Night. It will sit along the banks of the Merrimack River and it will become the centerpiece of Concord's skyline. NHD has pledged it's support to the project and will open a VIP lounge on the premises. The ground breaking is scheduled to begin in 2013. This computer generated depiction of the proposed building has created quite a buzz on the internet in the last twenty four hours.

On a side note: The NH Legends of Hockey will be inducting two members from Thursday Night Hockey into their cirle on saturday October 30th. Ryan Brandt and Dunc "Coach" Walsh, both who were held without a point last thursday will be the two most prominent new inductees into that hall. The NH Legends has no proposed plans for a permanent building unlike the Thursday Night Legends.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Green Tsunami Swamps Blue in Season Opener

Defending champion team Green showed no signs of a Thursday's Cup hangover as they trounced arch rival Blue 11-1. Led by stellar goaltending from Kenny "Don't Ya Love Him Madley" Bradley and a relentless swarm of offensive fire power, it proved to be too much for Team Blue. The scoring was led off by Andy "BTO" Bauchmann who was named second star of the game. The first star went to Bradley who was unconscious in the crease all night. The only Blue goal came late in the third period off the stick of veteren d man Greg "Hernia" Fournier who let go a "boomer" that Bradley had no chance on. At the other end of the rink, it was a long night for Kenny "Rebel Without a Cause" Dean who had more rubber coming at him than a narcoleptic conveyer-belt operator at a condom factory. Both teams were light and dressed only ten players each due in part to the long recovery period for many players still suffering the effects of the Duke of Lancaster disaster. Green winger Mark Rudz arrived just in time to be inserted into the line-up by Toe Blake. He was the last unaccounted for survivor from the shipwreck. When asked by reporters how he managed to get to the Doug, he said, " I got a lift from a former Red Sox player.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Let the Games Begin!


Green takes the ice to defend it's title on Thursday Night. Runner-ups Blue will look to dethrown the reigning champs and so it appears to be another exciting season of Thursday Night Hockey. Yellow may have an outside chance of getting to the finals, but Barry Smellrose predicts it will come down to Green and Blue once again. Green has drawn fans from all corners of the universe and they are ready to rock the Doug.