Green Tsunami Swamps Blue in Season Opener

Defending champion team Green showed no signs of a Thursday's Cup hangover as they trounced arch rival Blue 11-1. Led by stellar goaltending from Kenny "Don't Ya Love Him Madley" Bradley and a relentless swarm of offensive fire power, it proved to be too much for Team Blue. The scoring was led off by Andy "BTO" Bauchmann who was named second star of the game. The first star went to Bradley who was unconscious in the crease all night. The only Blue goal came late in the third period off the stick of veteren d man Greg "Hernia" Fournier who let go a "boomer" that Bradley had no chance on. At the other end of the rink, it was a long night for Kenny "Rebel Without a Cause" Dean who had more rubber coming at him than a narcoleptic conveyer-belt operator at a condom factory. Both teams were light and dressed only ten players each due in part to the long recovery period for many players still suffering the effects of the Duke of Lancaster disaster. Green winger Mark Rudz arrived just in time to be inserted into the line-up by Toe Blake. He was the last unaccounted for survivor from the shipwreck. When asked by reporters how he managed to get to the Doug, he said, " I got a lift from a former Red Sox player.