The Pucking Files Tackles "Daddy Bush League"

The Pucking Files is pleased to announce it's new feature; "Inside The Lies". Once a month we will sit down and conduct interviews with the famous and the infamous as well as the new kids on the pond. The interviews will be candid, controversial and uncensored. The Pucking Files aren't afraid to ask the tough questions and our subjects aren't afraid to lie if needs be. Our first interview is with blogger Daddy Bush League. "DBL" was held as a spy in a Morrocan prison for eight years before escaping and returning to the Granite State. The idea for his blog daddybushleague.blogspot.com came to him while he rotted in a dank prison cell high on hash. TPF: Your blog "Daddy Bush League" is primarily about sports and politics. Is there a relationship between the two? DBL: Yes, they both have dark horses and Cinderella stories, but sports teams don't use attack ads against their opponents. They both can also give us the amazing comeback. TPF: With all the political talk about the deficit in the state's budget, we can't overlook the fact that UNH hockey coach Dick Umile is the highest paid state employee. Is he overpaid? DBL: I'm on the fence about that. He does help bring in revenue for the state by giving us an exciting product. If he could deliver a national championship then no one would care about the deficit. TPF: With the state laying off many employees due to budget cuts, others are being asked to now do the work of several positions. Should Coach Umile be asked to coach the Lady Wildcats? DBL: I don't think the women's hockey teams needs him as much as the men's basketball team does. TPF: You've always been a huge Wildcats hockey fan, but you went to UVM. Were you conflicted when the two schools played each other? DBL: I always rooted for the Catamounts in the regular season, but if it came down to the NCAA finals, I'd be very conflicted. I don't know what I would do. TPF: Let's talk about the horrific season the Red Sox are having. Is Bobby Valentine to blame? If not; who is? DBL: He is part of the problem, but not all of it. I think a number of the players acted immaturely. I believe that the front office constrained Valentine from doing his own thing, so we may never know how he could have managed the team with his own staff, ideas, ect, ect. TPF: How often do you think Tom Brady is getting it from Gisele? DBL: Not very often during the season. Belichick makes him wear a chastity belt. TPF: Will Tim Thomas ever be a Bruin again? DBL: I doubt it. He'll probably be traded to Vancouver for Luongo. Roberto will be a good back up for Tukka. TPF: Do you think Tim Thomas acted selfishly when he refused to go to the White House with the rest of his team? DBL: I think the whole thing was overblown. I'm all for free speech, but, I think in this case it should've been nixed by the team concept. There is no "I" in team, however, there is an "I" in Tim. It became a big distraction to the team. Besides, it is disrespecting the highest office in the land. TPF: Do you think professional sports teams should be invited to the White House? DBL: Yes, it is honoring acheivement. It shouldn't be limited to athletics. I think people who get a perfect score on their SATs should be invited. TPF: Do you think there will be an NHL season this year? DBL: Yes, but it probably won't start until the Winter Classic or later. TPF: If there is a season; who do you see in the Cup finals? DBL: That's a tough one. I'll go with the LA Kings in the West and even though I hate to pick against the Bruins; I will go with the NY Rangers. I may change my mind by the time I do MY NHL preview. TPF: Do you think there will be a CCHL season? DBL: Doubtful. TPF: Should America stick with the two party political system? DBL: No, I think that every part of the political spectrum should be represented with the exception of radical and reactionary parties. We need to have more than two points of view in this country. TPF: There is the Green Party and the Tea Party. Should there be a Green Tea Party? DBL: Well, green tea is full of antioxidents. If it means the end of the Tea Party then yes. TPF: What professional athlete currently playing do you see would make a good US President someday? DBL: Ray Lewis. His speeches would be awesome and he'd scare the shit out of the rest of the world. TPF: How long have you been reading The Pucking Files? DBL: I've been following it religiously since the very beginning. TPF: What do you like best about it? DBL: They don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. TPF: Do you think the NHL lock out will help the NAHL? DBL: It can't hurt. TPF: Who is your favorite player in the NAHL? DBL: Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies. TPF: Why? DBL: He revolutionized the defensive position. TPF: How? DBL: By slowing the game down to his pace. He let's the game come to him instead of taking it to the opposition. TPF: Where you surprised that Blue won game 8? DBL: No, Green didn't have a chance without the Kaiser in the line up. TPF: Who do you see in the NAHL finals in 2013? DBL: I wouldn't be surprised to see Mauve and Teal in the finals. Check out daddybushleague.blogspot.com and see what the buzz is about.

Eight is Enough

The much-anticipated game eight was everything the fans and media had been waiting for and when it was over Blue skated away with the 2012 championship. Blue fans celebrated late into the night. Things did get ugly however when a group of disgruntled Green fans overturned cars and lit fire to the boat house. Several arrests were made. "These were just a group of Concord anarchist who don't care about hockey", said Tom "TC" Carroll of Green. Fans were on the edge of their seats all night as the pivotal game eight unfolded. The banners that hung around the Capitol City all summer that read: "ICW4G8!" were an indication of how important this game was to the city and to fans of the NAHL all over the world. It was broadcast in fifty countries world-wide including such places as the Figi Islands and Rumboogie. The game did not disappoint. It writes another chapter in the storied history of these two rivals. Netminder Andy "Gump" Doherty was awarded the Stonely Cup as tournament MVP. He stopped two penalty shots in the third period to preserve the victory for Blue.

Blue had a 4 to 3 lead when Green captain Joe "Joe" Farrelly was awarded a penalty shot after Alexander Rudulov hauled him down. Coach Gary "Toe" Blake sat Rudulov for the rest of the game. "It was a case of lazy hockey", said Blake. "Gump" Doherty came up large when he flashed the pads on Farrelly's wicked wrister. "That gave us a huge momentum swing", said Dave "Motor" Carlson (who was the first guy to pay his player union fees for the upcoming season). Late in the third with Blue still only up by a goal, referee Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse awarded yet another penalty shot to Green. This time it was Tom "Berg" Bergault who had the opportunity to tie the game, but Doherty came up huge again by robbing the always dangerous "Berg". "What a lift that save gave us", said rugged Blue defenseman Chris "Brownie" Brown. With just over a minute to go, Green pulled goaltender "Kenny" in favor of an extra attacker, but speedy winger Tom "Philby" Philbrick grabbed the puck that was chipped out to center ice and went in all alone on the vacated Green net, head down all the way. " I was trying to decided whether to shoot or deke", explained Philby. "I made up my mind to shoot and that was the right choice". "The Doug" erupted when Philby buried the shot and players on the Blue bench began to celebrate. "What a feeling!", exclaimed Mike "Little Cum" Commorford. "We have to put it behind us now and focus on the upcoming season", said a disappointed Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly. Next week starts the new season and the Blue banner will be hoisted to the rafters before the game. It promises to be another exciting season in the NAHL.

Married to a Game 8

The NAHL is about to open it's season this Thursday with the much anticipated Game 8 when long-time rivals Blue and Green will battle it out for the 2012 championship. As you may remember, Game 7 ended in a tie. city workers had shut the refrigeration system down for the season late in the third period. After the second overtime, the ice had become too soft to continue, so league officials decided that the championship would have to wait until the ice went back into "the Doug" in september. The rosters have changed very little since Game 7. One addition will be Alexander Rudulov who came over from the Predators after an all-night drinking binge sent him packing to the NAHL. Another surprise is Rich "Doc" Rosatto, who was swallowed by a large catfish this summer and assumed dead, WILL be in the line up. Andy "BTO" Bachmann was awarded the $10,000. reward for returning Rosatto's Blue jersey to the league. BTO caught the laviathan using a spinner and ten inch hook baited with a rat. To Bachmann's surprise, Rosatto had remained alive inside the belly of the catfish for over a week. " I couldn't believe it", said BTO. "When we pulled the enormous fish on board I was hoping the Blue jersey would still be there. When I slit open the fish, to my amazement, there was Rich still wearing the number 99 Blue jersey. It was a miracle! The jersey was still in great condition! I made a deal with Rich that I would pay his league fee for this season as well as last season's. "Doc" was cool with that." BTO presented the jersey to Moe Rudz and was given the reward money for his efforts. Doc's #99 has been officially retired and no one in the NAHL will ever wear that number again. The jersey will be on display in the soon-to-be built Thursday Night Hall of Fame. This year's opening ceremony will include a wedding ceremony that will take place at center ice prior to the game. The daughter of Thursday Night Hall of Famer George "Dumpin" Chase will tie the knot under the jumbotron. Gina "Dumpin" Chase will be marrying Jacque "Left Wing" Lock. The two storied hockey families will be joined in holy matrimony just prior to the dropping of the puck for Game 8. George "Dumpin" Chase will not be in uniform for the game. He will be replaced in the line-up by "Doc" Rosatto. Speaking of marriage; a survey taken this summer has found that hockey players from the NAHL are three times as likely to have a happy marriage compared to the average citizen. The study conducted by The Institute of Stuff, a Washington,D.C. firm that uses tax dollars for stupid stuff found that 97% of NAHL players will stay married throughout the course of their playing careers. The other 3% may account for players that never married or players that were married in Las Vegas while on a drunken stupor. When a player retires or is cut from their team in the NAHL, their chances for staying married drops to 62%. This may account for the longevity of so many players in the league. So, get ready Concord. ICW4G8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olympic Review

A poll taken by the NAHL found that 98% of players on Thursday Night Hockey believe that hand signals SHOULD be allowed in the Olympics. The other 2% were undecided about hand signals, BUTT they do believe there will always be a place in the Olympics for wedgies. That's what makes the Olympics so great! ICW4GB!

Big Gulp

The Dragon Boat races scheduled for August 18th have been cancelled due to a giant catfish in the Merrimack River. Officials put a stop to the upcoming dragon boat races when it was revealed that a giant catfish is responsible for the disappearance of a NAHL hockey player who was training for the upcoming race. It has been reported to The Pucking Files that Rich "Doc" Rosatto of Concord, NH was swallowed by a giant catfish after the fish rammed the boat that Rosatto was training on. Rosatto, an oral surgeon and a third line wing for team Blue was looking forward to the opportunity to try out again for a spot on a Blue squad loaded with talent. It doesn't look like his future is too promising after the tragic incident along the Merrimack. Teammates on his boat are in shock. There was seven other members on the boat that was targeted by the giant fish. Several members were taken to the N.H. State Hospital to get psychiatric counselling. "Things were going well as we travelled south along the river", said Jack "Jackhammer" Fraisr. "Suddenly we felt a thud and I thought we had hit a sunken log. Rich was in the front of the boat and the impact sent him head over heels into the water. He began to swim to the boat where the guys where waiting to pull him aboard. He was about a foot away from the dragon boat when suddenly a huge fish broke the surface and grabbed ahold of "Doc" and swallowed him whole". Everyone on the boat panicked and we began paddling for shore as fast as we could, said Jim "Heathy" Heath. " I called 911", said Tom "Painch" Painchaud. The Concord PD arrived on the scene along with a member of the NH Fish & Game Department. Tom "Berg" Bergault of Fish & Game bravely donned his scuba gear and entered the river on the east bank of the Merrimack across from where Rosatto was last seen. After about twenty minutes Bergault came ashore and confirmed that it was indeed a large catfish that swallowed Rosatto. " I used a search light and saw the mammoth fish cruising the river bottom with a piece of Rich's Blue number 99 hockey jersey sticking out of the corner of his mouth". "That beast must be at least 18 feet in length and weigh well over 700 lbs!", Berg exclaimed. Dave Gill the head of the city's Park and Rec Department had no choice but to cancel the upcoming race. "We have a big problem on our hands", said Gill. "I urge all citizen's to stay off the river until this fish is caught". "It is kind of ironic that the fish swallowed an oral surgeon", quipped Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies, a teammate of Rosatto . "Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction", he added. The Pucking Files will pass along any information we get from authorities as soon as it is available. Moe Rudz has offered a $10,000. reward to anyone who catches the fish and returns the hockey jersey.

Enter The Dragon

It was less than a year ago that the fateful voyage of the Duke of Lancaster met it's watery demise in the middle of the Atlantic. Now, the members of Thursday Night Hockey who survived the ordeal are going to test their fate again. On july 18th the NAHL will sponsor two boats to race in the first annual Dragon Boat Race on the Merrimack River. The league decided that they should go with the league's best and so it will be Blue and Green battling for bragging rights along the mighty Merrimack. "I will whip the men into shape in the next few weeks", said Mee Fung Yoo Lon Tiem a.k.a "The Karate Queen" who was hired by the NAHL to ready teams Blue and Green for the grueling event. "What could possibly go wrong?", said Gary "Toe" Blake. If we could survive the sinking of "The Duke" then we can survive along the Merrimack. "I don't know if I am ready to go back on the water", said Phil "The Commish" Stuart (this year's league MVP). "I have trouble sleeping at night. I wake up from nightmares that I am drowning in White's Park Pond", he lamented. The Commish and many others will work as volunteers along the banks of the Merrimack for the race. " I was o.k. with climbing Mt. Washington", said Tom "Berg" Bergault, "but, I don't think I can go back in the water ever again." The Mt. Washington climb has been rescheduled for a future date in order to make time for the dragon boat race. We look forward to seeing players, coaches and fans down along the banks of the Merrimack on July 18th. "I don't know if this will decide game eight, but, it certainly will set the tone for it", said Todd "Philby" Philbrick. "The entire city is anxiously awaiting game eight", said city mayor Jim Bouley. "I don't know about you, but, ICW4G8!

The Vic Pick

HOLY POND ICE BATMAN!

The stars came out to shine last night at The Gaslighter for the second annual Thursday Night Hockey Awards. Following the success of last year's event which raises money for Hockey Fights Obesity, this year's award ceremony and dinner not only reached it's goal of fundraising, it surpassed it. Hosted by funny man Slappy White and a musical performance by the Black Ice Peas, the event was a crowd pleaser. Finally came the moment that everyone had been waiting for; the presentation of "The Vic" Stanfield Award for the MVP. To no one's surprise, the unanimous choice for this year's award was none other than "THE COMMISH" Phil Staurt. "He did it all for us, game in and game out", said Tom "Shemp" Champagne. "He is the main reason that Blue made it back to the finals", added Tom "Painch" Painchaud. The first runner-up in voting for the award went to Jeff "Cano" Cain and third in votes was Brian "Tilly" Tillotson. "They all had tremendous seasons", said Dan "Lucky" Luker. The other awards handed out last night were: "The Swoop"-Most Goals: Tom "Philby" Philbrick, 2.Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies 3. Mike "Cummy" Commerford. "The Pike" Colgan- Most Assists: Todd "Philby" Philbrick, 2. Dave "JP" Palisi,3. Clint "Eastwood" Casavaugh. "The Leebo"- Most Points: Joe "Joe" Farrelly, 2. Gregg "Moose" Moffet, 3. Chris "Brownie" Brown. "The Hugger"- Best Defenseman: Dunc "Coach" Walsh, 2.Jack "Jackhammer" Fraiser, 3. George "Dumpin" Chase. "The Stuffy"- Best Goalie: Tom "Harry" Harrison, 2. Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley. 3. Andy "Gump" Doherty. "The Dunny"- Best Plus/Minus: Jim "Heathy" Heath. "The Lady Bung" -Sportsmanship: Ryan "Silky" Brandt. "The Phonzie" - Black Ice MVP: Andy "BTO" Bachmann. "The Bud" - Coach of the Year: Gary "Toe" Blake. "The Red Onion"- Best Referee: Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse. "The Larry Flint" - Hustler: Dan "Too Late" Early. "The Dick Pinch" - Fun in the Shower: Greg "Hernia" Fournier. "The Murph"- 7th Player: Tom "TC" Carroll. "The Tattahead"- 8th Player: Dave "Tilly" Tillotson. "The Garbo"- Best Rookie: Dave "Motor" Carlson. "The Goofy" -Best Brother Act: The "Tilly" Brothers. "The Tara" - Most Improved: Tom "Berg" Bergault. "The Po" - Comeback Player of the Year: Jim "Cummy" Commerford. "Cummy" received the biggest ovation of the night when it was announced he won "The Po". After suffering a viscous hit that left him hospitalized for two months, Cummy came back to lead Green into the finals. It was inspirational to say the least. The players took the time to pose with fans for photographs and sign autographs. Congratulations to the award winners AND to the NAHL for a fantastic year. I don't know about you BUT, I can't wait for game eight!