Knat So Fast

Siberia as photographed from The Knat

Camp 22 North Korea

 The crew of The Knat has managed against all odds to reach North Korea and locate the prision camp that is believed to hold Moe Rudz. Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Mark Rudz sent these photos via the internet showing their journey over Siberia and down into the Korean Pennisula. Joe "Joe" Farrelly told The Pucking Files that he has had close contact with the crew of The Knat since they departed Concord, N.H. last week. They reported favorable weather conditions and winds which helped them reach North Korea two days earlier than expected. "They sent back information that identifies the prison camp they believes holds Moe Rudz", said Farrelly. The crew were led to the location from an unidentified South Korean freedom fighter who gave them a basic layout of the remote region that contains "Camp 22", the notorious inhumane slave labor camp in the mountainous region of North Korea. "This information is a big step in helping to rescue Moe", said Joe, "but we should not jump to any conclusion that Moe is actually there without further investigation". "This is where things can get tricky", said Joe. "We've got to get Mike and Mark on the ground to verify that Moe is detained inside Camp 22 and that is extremely dangerous." The two plan to land in South Korea to refuel and pick up supplies as well as meet with South Korean agents to obtain information. Meanwhile, Joe "Joe" Farrelly is preparing a second squadron of "Thursday's Finest" as he calls them to make the journey to North Korea once the information is verified. "They'll be ready once we get the call to move ahead", Farrelly told us. "These guys are from the NAHL's Thursday Night League. They are used to adversity."

Operation Moe Takes Flight

In the wee hours of the morning an aging  airplane took off from Concord's airport without any fanfare. It ascended out over the Merrimack River and turned north and disappeared above the clouds. The aircraft is on route to North Korea taking a dangerous journey up over the North Pole carrying two men who are on a mission to save another man. That man is Moe Rudz, the billionaire publisher and adventurer who is reportedly being held in a Communist slave labor camp somewhere in the remote mountains of North Korea. The two men who volunteered for this perilous journey are none other than the infamous "White Pond Duo".  Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly and Mark Rudz are flying the aged aircraft on a wing and prayer. The airplane has been sitting in a rusty hanger since 1956. The airship named "The Knat" belonged to Moe and Mark's Rudz grandfather  Maurice. He had been Hobey Baker's airplane mechanic during WW1. Farrelly and Rudz worked on the airplane with the help of Tom "Harry" Harrison for the past month preparing it for the dangerous mission they have embarked upon. Their trip is being monitored by Joe "Joe" Farrelly who heads up "Operation Moe".  "They're mission is to try and locate the prison and then we will send in reinforcements to attempt the rescue", said Farrelly. "I have complete confidence in these two guys". The Pucking Files will keep abreast (he said breast) of all the developments as they are reported to us.
Another developing story that is taking place is that Chicago Blackhawk winger Patrick Kane has turned into a unicorn following the Blackhawk's capture of the Stanley Cup. The players were out celebrating in a bar when Kane miraculously turned into a unicorn. Said teammate Jonathan Toews, "I'm not surprised. Everything seems to be going Patrick's way. There is something special about that guy. Turning into a unicorn is just par for the course". Stan Bowman is not as smitten with the transformation. "I just hope he changes back by the time training camp begins".

Duncan Keith and Patrick Kane

All Tied Up!

The Bruins tied the series last night with a thrilling OT victory in Chicago. Claude Julien told the Pucking Files, "We dedicated this game to Moe Rudz". "He means so much to our organization and to hockey around the world." "If we win the Cup, we're are going to petition to get Moe's name on it". "He is actually Lord Stanely's bastard great grandson which most people are not aware of."
"We are hoping for his safe return".

Moe being kicked in the head by guard. Ouch!

The rescue team organized by Joe "Joe" Farrelly met at Joe's house yesterday to go over the final details before they part for the Korean pennisula next week. "We have been training hard for the past few weeks and we are waiting for clearance from the Pentagon to proceed with "Operation Moe". We know he is alive because he was able to sneak this drawing to us from the prison camp with the help of some South Korean freedom fighters.  The drawing is very disturbing and it makes it quite clear that time is of the essence", said Farrelly. "I am confident that the guys we have choosen for this mission have only two things on their minds; Getting Moe back alive and watching the Stanley Cup finals. Nothing else matters to them". "Well, maybe a third thing.They also want to see  Miss Massachusetts mud wrestle Miss Illinois. They are only human after all".

Original Six Pack Final

Bruin's muckers and grinders!

With the Bruins sweep of the Penquins on friday and the Chicago Blackhawks double OT victory against the Kings last night, the stage is set for the first Original Six Stanley Cup final since 1979.  It may be shades of the Esposito Brothers battles in the seventies. Whether it was Bobby Orr's spin-o-ramas, Bobby Hull's slap shot or Stan Makita facing off against Derek Sanderson, whenever the Bruins and Blackhawks got together, it was always entertaining. We can expect an epic series starting on wednesday night. Hairy Smellnose has the Blackhawks in seven and Jimmy the Geek has the Bruins in six. So grab a six pack and enjoy some Original six hockey action. This could be the best final since Blue vs. Green.

Something's Fishy at White's

Carp ay diem

The goldfish are dying by the dozens each day in the pond at White's Park and no one seems to know why. The EPA has found no evidence of pollutants and the oxygen levels seem to check out fine. So what or who is killing the fish at White's? One man may have the answer. He is Dr. Lucian Pudwell, the lead scientist for the Smithsonian Institute of Phenomena. Dr. Pudwell was summoned to Concord by the EPA to help solve the mystery surrounding the carp crusade. After placing night vision cameras around the pond, Dr. Pudwell was surprised to find a peculiar photo of what he believes to be the culprit in this case. "I didn't want to believe it, but it's hard to ignore the evidence", said Dr. Pudwell. He concluded,"I am thoroughly convinced that it is none other than The Creature of the Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships!"                    

A Call to Arms

Joe "Joe" Farrelly asks for recruits.

G.I. "Joe" Farrelly is looking for a few good men. Fed up with Secretary of State John Kerry and the feds feeble attempt to secure the return of fellow citizen Moe Rudz to American soil, Farrelly is now recruiting able bodied men to form a covert militia to try and rescue Rudz from a slave labor camp located somewhere in the remote mountains of North Korea. "I'm asking for volunteers who care about freeing a fellow American from a communist regime that does not value human life". "I would stress that you must be at least eighteen years of age, be in top physical condition and willing to spend weeks over even months in bitter cold temperatures with many sleepless nights." If you've played in the Black Ice Pond Hockey tournament then you are considered a prime candidate. The pay is lousy, the food stinks and there is no guarantee that you will return alive. If this sounds like something you'd be willing to accept then call me or email me and give me your pledge of support. We will do whatever it takes to get Moe back on U.S. soil. He has supported The NAHL and Black Ice Pond Hockey for many years and we must return the favor." "By the way: We have Bud Light".

Still No Moe

Rodman dresses up for Kim Jong Un

The Fed's attempt to use diplomacy to try and secure the return of billionaire publisher Moe Rudz has failed to achieve it's aim and left many frustrated and angry. Secretary of State John Kerry sent former NBA star Dennis "The Worm" Rodman over to North Korea to negotiate a release of Rudz, but instead the trip has "turned into a complete farce" according to South Korean Ambassador Albert Broccoli. "Rodman and Kim Jong Un have taken to drinking large amounts of rice wine and dressing in drag. The two were seen lighting their farts on fire and urinating in the tropical fish tank. It is a disgusting display of immaturity".
It has been reported to The Pucking Files that Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the president of the NAHL Players Union is off  meeting with experts on North Korea to figure out a way to free Rudz from the labor camp that he is currently held in. We will keep you abreast (he said breast) of any new developments in the case.