Still No Moe

Rodman dresses up for Kim Jong Un

The Fed's attempt to use diplomacy to try and secure the return of billionaire publisher Moe Rudz has failed to achieve it's aim and left many frustrated and angry. Secretary of State John Kerry sent former NBA star Dennis "The Worm" Rodman over to North Korea to negotiate a release of Rudz, but instead the trip has "turned into a complete farce" according to South Korean Ambassador Albert Broccoli. "Rodman and Kim Jong Un have taken to drinking large amounts of rice wine and dressing in drag. The two were seen lighting their farts on fire and urinating in the tropical fish tank. It is a disgusting display of immaturity".
It has been reported to The Pucking Files that Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the president of the NAHL Players Union is off  meeting with experts on North Korea to figure out a way to free Rudz from the labor camp that he is currently held in. We will keep you abreast (he said breast) of any new developments in the case.