Black Friday is the day that all the new Black Ice apparel goes on sale. This year Black Ice apparel features a new line of lingerie. It's sure to be a big seller.
Friday, November 27, 2015
Stuffing the Turkey
Black Friday is the day that all the new Black Ice apparel goes on sale. This year Black Ice apparel features a new line of lingerie. It's sure to be a big seller.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Loco Logo
In other news, Green continues to show it's dominance in the NAHL by getting off to it's best start in franchise history. Blue has a lot of ground to make up if it has any chance of making the playoffs. They are off to their worst start in franchise history. Magenta is firmly entrenched in second place, while Chrome and Teal are tied for third.
In the CCHL attendance is down by 38% from last season while fighting majors are up by 73% compared to last season. Former league scoring champion Tim "The Timinator" Walsh is sidelined for a month with a broken hand that he suffered in a fight last week. CCHL commissioner Jeff "Hurricane" Kane is on the hot seat. Many are calling for Phil "Commish" Stewart to be reinstated as CCHL commissioner. It's desparate times in the CCHL.
5
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Going Green
Saturday, October 10, 2015
The Big "Thumb"?
Thursday, August 20, 2015
North Korea Takes Aim at Concord
City and state officials are tight lipped about the reported "sink hole" that engulfed the north bound lane of I93 in Concord yesterday. Traffic had to be rerouted around the Capital area and investigators pondered the situation. An insider source has informed The Pucking Files that the hole was not a sink hole as reported. It was the result of a North Korean missle that failed to detonate upon impact. North Korea had vowed revenge against those who had been involved with the rescue of Moe Rudz several years ago. Members of Concord's elite athletes from Thursday Night Hockey had risked their lives to rescue the billionaire publisher after he had been captured by North Korean troops when his panda safari lost it's way and ended up in the rogue republic. Kim Jung Il has called the missle attack revenge for the North Korean lives lost in the battle against NAHL volunteer forces. The White House and the Pentagon have not publicly responded to the claim. "It is quite clear that the real target was The Doug", said Joe "Joe" Farrelly, the president of the NAHL Players Association. With the Doug set to open in less than a month, a direct hit on the famed arena would have crippled the city's economy which relies heavily on revenues generated by the NAHL and CCHL. "God was on our side", said Kenny "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley after hearing of the conspiracy. As for now, city officials are still calling it "a sink hole". 
We now continue with our featured summer story: Fifty Shades of Moe. The pirate's boat overtook Moe's boat and the Chinese pirates boarded the Filthy Pig without any resistance other than from Gus. Fortunately for them, Gus was so stinking drunk that his pistol aim was way off the mark. The pirates pistol whipped Gus until he was rendered unconscious. Moe and the others were too overcome with fear to do anything about it. The pirates plundered the Filthy Pig and took the passengers as hostages. Twenty minutes later,the vessel slowed down and one of the pirates began to chum the water with fish blood and guts. Moe was curious why they would be fishing after getting away with robbery. The pirates put their boat into neutral and soon sharks began appear all around the boat. Moe wondered why and soon his question was answered. One of the pirates began yelling in Chinese at the passengers. He pointed a gun at them and pointed to a gang plank that they had set up off the bow of the boat. The passengers were being forced to walk the gang plank into a feeding frenzy of tiger sharks. The first passenger was prodded to leap off the plank and in minutes he was attacked by the hungry sharks. One by one, the passengers met their gruesome fate. Moe wondered when his turn would come. Moe noticed a helicopter hovering above the pirate's ship. It kept circling about. One of the pirates fired a shot at it with his pistol. Now the pirates were starting to concern themselves with the helicopter. Others began to take pot shots at the chopper. The pirate captain yelled at Moe to get on the gang plank. Moe hesitantly got on the plank, suddenly a loud roar overwhelmed the ship. The helicopter opened fire on the pirates. All hell broke loose as the pirates fired back. Machine gun fire reigned down on the pirates. Moe dropped to his knees and hung on for dear life. If it were not for the sharks, Moe would have used the opportunity to jump into the water. The helicopter hovered down closer and under the cover of machine gun fire, they dropped a rope down to Moe. Moe grabbed the rope and the chopper pulled away with Moe clinging to the rope. Moe was caught in the cross-fire, but he managed to be pulled into the helicopter uninjured. When Moe finally became aware enough to look around, he saw Bill Clinton standing there along with some heavily armed soldiers. "You sure to manage to get yourself in some tight jams", Clinton said to Moe. "Mr.Clinton", said Moe, "You've saved my life once again". "I told you, my name is Frank Wiener. People often mistake me for Bill Clinton", he said. "How can I ever repay you Frank?", Moe asked. "You can start by describing all the juicy details about your sexcapades with the lovely jungle ladies of Borneo. Moe recounted his tale of the events that took place after his last encounter with "Frank". Frank told Moe that he was sorry to hear about him losing his johnson as a result of the viagra overdose. "I know a surgeon in Jakarta who specializes in penis transplants. I'll take you to see him. A week later, Moe was discharged from the hospital with a new ten inch penis and a new lease on life. Frank invited Moe to join him for a month of jet-setting all over the world banging women in exotic places. Moe declined the offer, knowing that he didn't really care for women and besides, it was time to get back to work.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Leave It to Beav and 50 Shades of Moe
Followers of The 1883 Black Ice Pond Hockey Tournament were out in droves on friday July 31rst to watch some of their favorite stars tee off at the 2nd annual Halfway to Black Ice Golf Outing. The weather was ideal and balls were slamming against the beaver. "We're over the hump and headed toward year six of the pond hockey tourney and it's full speed ahead", said Chris "Brownie" Brown who is the driving force behind Black Ice. The weather report looks good for the last weekend in January. It is expected to be cold with a mix of sun and clouds as well as the possibility of snow flurries throughout the weekend. It is rumored that Brownie will park The RV on White St. sometime in mid august this year. When asked about that, Brown said, "I have no comment at this time".
As promised, The Pucking Files now continues with Moe's epic adventure;
As Moe continued down river in the dug-out canoe he began to grow weak. His erection had now taken on a life of it's own and it was now more than twenty four hours old. His feet and hands were beginning to turn blue and he became dizzy due to all the blood that his penis required. The jungle heat didn't help matters any. Moe finally passed out in the canoe which was now being swept down stream with no one in control.
When Moe regained consciousness, he found himself on a cot staring at a ceiling fan. A nun was sitting beside his bed reading her bible. "Hello", said Moe. "Bonjour Monsieur", replied the nun. "Parle vous francais?, she asked. "No", answered Moe. "Do you speak english?", he asked her. "No", she replied. The nun left the room and returned with a man dressed like a priest. "Hello, my name is Father Latrine", he said with a heavy accent. "By the grace of God, you are still alive", he added. "Where am I and what has happened to me?", Moe asked the priest. "You were found floating in a canoe in the delta. You were as white as a ghost and very cold. You had a peculiar medical condition. A few of the nuns tried their best to remedy the problem, but to no avail. I myself even tried, but, your condition remained hard, I mean difficult to figure out. We tried an exorcism thinking perhaps that your condition was the work of the devil. This too was unsuccessful. We finally went to a nearby village and found a doctor. The doctor performed the surgery which is why you are alive today", Father Latrine explained. "Surgery?", Moe asked. "Oui, surgery", replied the priest pointing his finger towards Moe's crotch. Moe lifted the sheets and looked down. He was overcome by a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His crotch was completely bandaged. "Oh God NO!", Moe yelled. "I am afraid that the doctor had no other option other than to let you die", said Father Latrine. Tears began to well in Moe's eyes. "I will leave you alone for awhile. You need to rest", said the priest. Moe could not rest. An hour passed and a nun came in to change the bandages. Moe asked her about the doctor, but she spoke very little english. "I was a virgin and I lost my virginity and now I lost my manhood. How could this have happened to me?", Moe said to the young nun. "Ce la vie", she replied. That evening Father Latrine returned to check up on Moe. "Where are we and how do I get out of here?", Moe asked. You are in Bora Bora, just west of the island of Java", replied the priest. "There is a boat that arrives here at the end of the week. By then you may be strong enough to take the trip across the water to the mainland", he told Moe. "It cost five francs to take the boat, but we found that you have nothing at all except a pair of socks and some hiking boots. The people of this village have taken pity on you and provided you with some clothes and a ticket to ride the boat to the mainland. God too has taken pity on you Monsieur Moe. The boat will arrive at the pier at 1pm today", Latrine informed Moe. Moe said goodbye to Father Latrine and the nuns then he walked down to the pier where he boarded the boat. The vessel was a small steam powered barge named "The Filthy Pig". It sputtered it's way out of the delta until it reached the ocean. It was loaded with supplies and the few rare people with enough money to buy a ticket. By chance, the captain was an hard drinking Australian named Gus. He was rough around the edges yet friendly to Moe. For hours, Moe told Gus his tale of woe. Gus was getting drunker by the hour as Moe told his story. It was just before sunset that Moe noticed a vessel heading towards The Filthy Pig. "Hot Damn, fucken PIRATES!", yelled Gus. He pushed the throttle full speed ahead, but the old barge was no match for the pirate's troller. "These guys are scum from the South China Seas", Gus informed Moe. "Go down into the hatch and grab some rifles and hand them to the other passengers", Gus instructed Moe. Gus pushed the throttle full ahead and steam poured out of the stack. The pirate's boat was gaining on the Filthy Pig. "Are they dangerous?", asked Moe. "Hell ya!", yelled Gus. "They'll probably kill us after they rob us". Will Moe meet his demise at the hands of the pirates or will The Filthy Pig out run them? Find out next time on The Pucking Files.
As Moe continued down river in the dug-out canoe he began to grow weak. His erection had now taken on a life of it's own and it was now more than twenty four hours old. His feet and hands were beginning to turn blue and he became dizzy due to all the blood that his penis required. The jungle heat didn't help matters any. Moe finally passed out in the canoe which was now being swept down stream with no one in control.
When Moe regained consciousness, he found himself on a cot staring at a ceiling fan. A nun was sitting beside his bed reading her bible. "Hello", said Moe. "Bonjour Monsieur", replied the nun. "Parle vous francais?, she asked. "No", answered Moe. "Do you speak english?", he asked her. "No", she replied. The nun left the room and returned with a man dressed like a priest. "Hello, my name is Father Latrine", he said with a heavy accent. "By the grace of God, you are still alive", he added. "Where am I and what has happened to me?", Moe asked the priest. "You were found floating in a canoe in the delta. You were as white as a ghost and very cold. You had a peculiar medical condition. A few of the nuns tried their best to remedy the problem, but to no avail. I myself even tried, but, your condition remained hard, I mean difficult to figure out. We tried an exorcism thinking perhaps that your condition was the work of the devil. This too was unsuccessful. We finally went to a nearby village and found a doctor. The doctor performed the surgery which is why you are alive today", Father Latrine explained. "Surgery?", Moe asked. "Oui, surgery", replied the priest pointing his finger towards Moe's crotch. Moe lifted the sheets and looked down. He was overcome by a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His crotch was completely bandaged. "Oh God NO!", Moe yelled. "I am afraid that the doctor had no other option other than to let you die", said Father Latrine. Tears began to well in Moe's eyes. "I will leave you alone for awhile. You need to rest", said the priest. Moe could not rest. An hour passed and a nun came in to change the bandages. Moe asked her about the doctor, but she spoke very little english. "I was a virgin and I lost my virginity and now I lost my manhood. How could this have happened to me?", Moe said to the young nun. "Ce la vie", she replied. That evening Father Latrine returned to check up on Moe. "Where are we and how do I get out of here?", Moe asked. You are in Bora Bora, just west of the island of Java", replied the priest. "There is a boat that arrives here at the end of the week. By then you may be strong enough to take the trip across the water to the mainland", he told Moe. "It cost five francs to take the boat, but we found that you have nothing at all except a pair of socks and some hiking boots. The people of this village have taken pity on you and provided you with some clothes and a ticket to ride the boat to the mainland. God too has taken pity on you Monsieur Moe. The boat will arrive at the pier at 1pm today", Latrine informed Moe. Moe said goodbye to Father Latrine and the nuns then he walked down to the pier where he boarded the boat. The vessel was a small steam powered barge named "The Filthy Pig". It sputtered it's way out of the delta until it reached the ocean. It was loaded with supplies and the few rare people with enough money to buy a ticket. By chance, the captain was an hard drinking Australian named Gus. He was rough around the edges yet friendly to Moe. For hours, Moe told Gus his tale of woe. Gus was getting drunker by the hour as Moe told his story. It was just before sunset that Moe noticed a vessel heading towards The Filthy Pig. "Hot Damn, fucken PIRATES!", yelled Gus. He pushed the throttle full speed ahead, but the old barge was no match for the pirate's troller. "These guys are scum from the South China Seas", Gus informed Moe. "Go down into the hatch and grab some rifles and hand them to the other passengers", Gus instructed Moe. Gus pushed the throttle full ahead and steam poured out of the stack. The pirate's boat was gaining on the Filthy Pig. "Are they dangerous?", asked Moe. "Hell ya!", yelled Gus. "They'll probably kill us after they rob us". Will Moe meet his demise at the hands of the pirates or will The Filthy Pig out run them? Find out next time on The Pucking Files.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Green signs Too Late & Moe's Saga Continues
Dan "Too Late" Early signed a one year deal with Green. He was about to become an unrestricted free agent. There were rumors that he would be signing with Chartreuse. He was seen at an all-you-can-eat buffet with Chartreuse GM Buster Hyman. When asked about the meeting, Early said, "I liked the crab cakes and the egg rolls the best".
We now continue with Moe's Adventure (part III):
The mood around the village was quite festive. The women brought Moe some mangos and crocodile meat to eat as well as some fresh water to drink. The sun was beginning to go down and a large fire was blazing in the center of the village. The women were dancing around the fire to the sound of drums. Moe was quite anxious about what lay in store for him. Suddenly, there was some yelling and the chief appeared wearing nothing but some beads and war paint. The drums stopped and the women grew silent. She approached Moe and signaled for him to stand up. She stared at Moe and then she untied the rope that was around his neck and led him to her hut. She turned to the other women and yelled something and they all began to shout and the drums began to pound again. She grabbed Moe by his johnson and began stroking him. Moe knew that if he didn't perform he would end up being served for dinner. The pressure was on. After a few minutes it became apparent that Moe was not going to rise to the occasion. The chief became very angry and smacked Moe across the side of his head. She yelled something at him. She then knocked Moe to the ground and kicked him several times in the back and ribs. She left the hut as Moe lay on the ground in a heap. A few minutes later, the drums stopped and the chief returned with several other women and they dragged Moe out of the hut and dumped near the fire in the center of the village. Moe watched as four women dragged a large cast iron pot over to the fire. They filled the pot with water and set it about to boil. Many of the savages approached Moe and mocked him. They kicked, punched and even spit on him. Moe began to lose all hope. Being boiled alive like a lobster was not the way anyone wants to die, especially Moe. Suddenly, Moe remembered the Viagra pills that Clinton stuffed in his sock. He realized that they may be his last hope of redeeming himself before these savage beauties. But, how was he going to get them with his hands tied behind his back? As the time past waiting for the large pot of water to reach a boil, many women took there turns abusing poor Moe. However, Moe had noticed one woman who seemed to take pity on him. She had given him some water to drink and took no part in the abuse. Moe motioned to her and she approached. He indicated to her that his hands were in pain and that he would like her to untie them. She seemed to understand. She looked around to see if the others were watching and then quickly reached down and untied the knot that bound his hands. Moe seized the opportunity to reach into his sock and grab the Viagra pills. Suddenly one of the other savages noticed that he was untied and she started yelling at him. Moe had to act fast. He tossed all five pills in his mouth and began to swallow them down before the angry bitches could stop him. The woman grabbed him and bound his hands once again. They kicked and punched him and yelled at him. Moe lay on the ground in discomfort with blood oozing from his nose and mouth. Another hour passed and now Moe could see steam rising furiously from the iron pot. He knew his time was nearing the end. The chief approached Moe and yelled in his face. Her breasts slapping Moe across the face as she berated him. Moe suddenly found this rather exciting. He was lifted to his feet by several of the women who were to lead him to the boiling pot. The chief stopped yelling and her eyes grew wide. Moe heard a collective gasp from the tribe and he saw them all looking at his crotch. Moe looked down and to his surprise he saw his erect penis. The chief grabbed Moe and pulled him to her. She reached behind Moe and untied his hands. She laid down on the ground and spread her legs and Moe knew right then and there that THIS was his one opportunity to save himself. Moe mounted the savage queen and he began to thrust himself deep inside of her. The chief was moaning in ecstasy as Moe unloaded inside of her. But, Moe never lost his erection. As a matter of fact, he became aware that it was bigger than ever. He continued humping the savage bitch chief until she had orgasmed so many times that she rolled onto her side and passed out. One by one the women of the tribe took their turn with Moe. Each women became so exhausted from Moe's persistent hammering that they were passing out all around him. Sometime, just before sunrise, Moe had finished doing the last remaining tribe member. Now, Moe was the only conscious being in the village. This was his opportunity to make a break. He grabbed one of the canoes and pushed it down to the river's edge. He also took a spear,a knife, and some food with him. Into the canoe he climbed and away he paddled. He looked back and saw the carnage of savage beauties sleeping all over the ground. He didn't want to stay around to find out what they had in store for him next. Moe paddled furiously down the river for hours. He noticed that he still had an erection. It had been well over twelve hours and it showed no signs of going down. He knew that he'd better get to a doctor because he was well past the four hour warning limit. Would Moe find a doctor in the middle of the jungle? Would Moe's salvation now be his undoing? Find out what lies in stoe foe Moe in the next installment of The Pucking Files.
We now continue with Moe's Adventure (part III):
The mood around the village was quite festive. The women brought Moe some mangos and crocodile meat to eat as well as some fresh water to drink. The sun was beginning to go down and a large fire was blazing in the center of the village. The women were dancing around the fire to the sound of drums. Moe was quite anxious about what lay in store for him. Suddenly, there was some yelling and the chief appeared wearing nothing but some beads and war paint. The drums stopped and the women grew silent. She approached Moe and signaled for him to stand up. She stared at Moe and then she untied the rope that was around his neck and led him to her hut. She turned to the other women and yelled something and they all began to shout and the drums began to pound again. She grabbed Moe by his johnson and began stroking him. Moe knew that if he didn't perform he would end up being served for dinner. The pressure was on. After a few minutes it became apparent that Moe was not going to rise to the occasion. The chief became very angry and smacked Moe across the side of his head. She yelled something at him. She then knocked Moe to the ground and kicked him several times in the back and ribs. She left the hut as Moe lay on the ground in a heap. A few minutes later, the drums stopped and the chief returned with several other women and they dragged Moe out of the hut and dumped near the fire in the center of the village. Moe watched as four women dragged a large cast iron pot over to the fire. They filled the pot with water and set it about to boil. Many of the savages approached Moe and mocked him. They kicked, punched and even spit on him. Moe began to lose all hope. Being boiled alive like a lobster was not the way anyone wants to die, especially Moe. Suddenly, Moe remembered the Viagra pills that Clinton stuffed in his sock. He realized that they may be his last hope of redeeming himself before these savage beauties. But, how was he going to get them with his hands tied behind his back? As the time past waiting for the large pot of water to reach a boil, many women took there turns abusing poor Moe. However, Moe had noticed one woman who seemed to take pity on him. She had given him some water to drink and took no part in the abuse. Moe motioned to her and she approached. He indicated to her that his hands were in pain and that he would like her to untie them. She seemed to understand. She looked around to see if the others were watching and then quickly reached down and untied the knot that bound his hands. Moe seized the opportunity to reach into his sock and grab the Viagra pills. Suddenly one of the other savages noticed that he was untied and she started yelling at him. Moe had to act fast. He tossed all five pills in his mouth and began to swallow them down before the angry bitches could stop him. The woman grabbed him and bound his hands once again. They kicked and punched him and yelled at him. Moe lay on the ground in discomfort with blood oozing from his nose and mouth. Another hour passed and now Moe could see steam rising furiously from the iron pot. He knew his time was nearing the end. The chief approached Moe and yelled in his face. Her breasts slapping Moe across the face as she berated him. Moe suddenly found this rather exciting. He was lifted to his feet by several of the women who were to lead him to the boiling pot. The chief stopped yelling and her eyes grew wide. Moe heard a collective gasp from the tribe and he saw them all looking at his crotch. Moe looked down and to his surprise he saw his erect penis. The chief grabbed Moe and pulled him to her. She reached behind Moe and untied his hands. She laid down on the ground and spread her legs and Moe knew right then and there that THIS was his one opportunity to save himself. Moe mounted the savage queen and he began to thrust himself deep inside of her. The chief was moaning in ecstasy as Moe unloaded inside of her. But, Moe never lost his erection. As a matter of fact, he became aware that it was bigger than ever. He continued humping the savage bitch chief until she had orgasmed so many times that she rolled onto her side and passed out. One by one the women of the tribe took their turn with Moe. Each women became so exhausted from Moe's persistent hammering that they were passing out all around him. Sometime, just before sunrise, Moe had finished doing the last remaining tribe member. Now, Moe was the only conscious being in the village. This was his opportunity to make a break. He grabbed one of the canoes and pushed it down to the river's edge. He also took a spear,a knife, and some food with him. Into the canoe he climbed and away he paddled. He looked back and saw the carnage of savage beauties sleeping all over the ground. He didn't want to stay around to find out what they had in store for him next. Moe paddled furiously down the river for hours. He noticed that he still had an erection. It had been well over twelve hours and it showed no signs of going down. He knew that he'd better get to a doctor because he was well past the four hour warning limit. Would Moe find a doctor in the middle of the jungle? Would Moe's salvation now be his undoing? Find out what lies in stoe foe Moe in the next installment of The Pucking Files.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Legendary
Yesterday the NAHL announced it's new inductees for the Legends of Thursday Night Hockey Hall of Fame. The newest members include two goalies as well as a handful of retirees. The five newest members to The Hall are: Jim "The Big Cum" Commerford, Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly, Tom "Harry" Harrison, Chris "Faster Than You" McGloughlin, Brian "Smitty" Smith and Dunc "Coach" Walsh. They will be officially inducted in late October at the Grappone Center and The Pucking Files will be there to give you complete coverage.
As promised The Pucking Files is pleased to present Part II of Moe's Adventure.
As we remember, Moe was about to be devoured by an enormous crocodile when suddenly the large beast was harpooned with a large spear. The croc rolled over and over trying to free itself from the spear that was imbedded just behind it's head. As it rolled, it was coiling itself in rope that was attached to the harpoon. Moe could not believe his eyes. Blood spurted from the monster and Moe's eye's followed the rope to it's source. There he saw a canoe filled with beautiful aboriginal women that were wearing next to nothing. The woman in the front had the rope in her hands and several others helped her subdue the crocodile. Soon the beast bled out and the women cut the rope and the beast floated upside down. The women paddled the dug-out canoe to Moe who was too exhausted to react. They pulled him up into the canoe. He lay in the bottom of the canoe and the women paddled back towards shore. When they reached the shore several of them grabbed Moe by the arms and yanked Moe out of the canoe and dragged him up onto the beach. Many other women had come down to the shore to witness the sight. They were yelling in a language unfamiliar to Moe. They carried spears and other weapons and Moe began to realize that they were hostile. One of them seemed to be in charge. She appeared to be yelling orders to the others. "She's extremely beautiful for a woman", Moe thought. She leaned over to have a closer look at Moe who was still too exhausted to stand up. Her large brown breast dangled in Moe's face. Suddenly, she pulled out a knife and cut the shirt right off of Moe. He began to fear for his life once again. "Are they going to kill me?", he thought. The woman in charge pointed the knife at Moe's crotch and then cut off Moe's pants. The women all began to yell what sounded like a war whoop. "Are they going to cut off my johnson?", he wondered. They grabbed Moe by the arms and lifted him to his feet. He was now wearing nothing but his hiking boots and socks. They bound his hands with some rope and led him into the jungle. Moments later he entered a clearing that had many grass huts. Here, they tied another rope around Moe's neck and they tied the other end to a post in the center of the village. The savage women gathered around and what seemed to be a great debate ensued. The chief seemed to be the one that the other women were directing their comments to. After several minutes, the talking stopped and the chief and the others turned their gaze upon Moe. Moe was full of worry as the women approached him. The chief grabbed Moe by the hair and yanked his head up. She stared straight into his eyes. Although she was attractive (for a woman), she was also very intimidating. She grabbed more of Moe's hair with the other hand and pulled Moe's head to her crotch. Moe was face to face with a savage pussy. She said some kind of a command and pulled harder on Moe's hair. Moe realized that she wanted oral sex from him. Fearing for his life, Moe began to perform the task he was faced with even though it was foreign to him. The chief began to moan and Moe realized that he must be doing something right because she relaxed her grip on his scalp. Finally, the chief tugged Moe's hair as she let out a long moan of ectasy and all the other female savages began to yell their war whoop. Moe had managed to spare his own life for the time being. The chief walked away from Moe and another woman took her place. It became evident to Moe that his task was not complete. Woman after woman took their turn with Moe. His tongue soon became raw. It went on for hours until, finally around sunset,the last of the savages had been satisfied. They left Moe tied to the stake while the women made dinner. They roasted the crocodile on the fire. One of the woman brought Moe a piece of crocodile meat. It tasted terrible, but Moe was so hungry, he ate it anyway. Moe slept on the ground that night. The following morning Moe was awakened by the sound of the women who seemed to be in a heightened state. He then noticed a small airplane circling overhead. Most of the women ran from the village down a path in the jungle. Several of the savage babes stayed behind to guard Moe. He could hear the airplane's engine as it disappeared below the tree line. About twenty minutes later, the women began to appear back in the village carrying boxes. Soon after Moe caught sight of the chief, who was accompanied by two white men with smiles on their faces. One of the men was speaking the native language of the tribe. The women seemed to be in a festive mood. Not long after, Moe heard the sound of drums. It seemed that some sort of ceremony was taking place. The men seemed to be offering the women gifts. The men came closer to the center of the village where Moe was bound to the stake. One of the men looked oddly familiar to Moe. The two approached Moe and looked at him. The translator spoke to the chief. They smiled. Suddenly it donned on Moe who the familiar looking grey haired man was. It was former president Bill Clinton. "Mr. President!", Moe blurted. He smiled and said, "No, but I get that a lot". Moe recognized his voice. This had to be Bill Clinton. "My name is Frank", he said, "Frank Wiener. Pleased to meet you." Moe knew the man was lying which made him even more sure that it was Clinton. He decided that he'd better not press the issue because these men may be his only chance at getting out of this predicament. "You've got yourself in quite a situation here", said Frank. "The ladies have big plans for you fella, you lucky dog.", he added."What do you mean?" asked Moe. "You are going to have more sex than any guy, other than me, could possibly imagine", Frank answered. "I can't do that!", shouted Moe. "Of course you can. These women are HOT! You have to satisfy them, or else", Frank advised. "Or else what?", Moe asked. "They'll kill you and cook you and eat you my friend", replied Frank. "You've got to get me out of here!", Moe pleaded. "I can't do that friend", said Frank. "It's a two seater airplane and we are about to load it up with rare plants that are to be used to cure Alzheimer disease. We can't jeopardize the mission", Frank informed him. "You don't understand", said Moe. "I've never had sex before, especially with a woman", explained Moe. "You're a VIRGIN?", Frank asked. "Yes, and besides that, I'm gay.", Moe replied. "Oh boy, you are in deep shit pal", Frank blurted. "You gotta HELP ME!", Moe begged. "I have something that I think may help you out of this jam", whispered Frank. "What?" asked Moe. Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of blue pills. "It's Viagra my friend!", quipped Frank. "You take a couple of these and you'll be able to do the entire tribe", Frank said. "Believe me, I know. I've done all these ladies thanks to these little blue pills", he told Moe. "But.....I'm GAY!", Moe cried. "Well think of some dude while you're doing up these horny native chicks.", Frank advised. "We have to be off friend. Just enjoy it." added Frank. He stuffed five pills in Moe's sock and then turned away. Down the path the two men went. Moe was left in a state of panic. Would this be the end for Moe? Could Moe rise to the occasion or would he end in a real stew? Find out in the next installment of The Pucking Files.
As promised The Pucking Files is pleased to present Part II of Moe's Adventure.
As we remember, Moe was about to be devoured by an enormous crocodile when suddenly the large beast was harpooned with a large spear. The croc rolled over and over trying to free itself from the spear that was imbedded just behind it's head. As it rolled, it was coiling itself in rope that was attached to the harpoon. Moe could not believe his eyes. Blood spurted from the monster and Moe's eye's followed the rope to it's source. There he saw a canoe filled with beautiful aboriginal women that were wearing next to nothing. The woman in the front had the rope in her hands and several others helped her subdue the crocodile. Soon the beast bled out and the women cut the rope and the beast floated upside down. The women paddled the dug-out canoe to Moe who was too exhausted to react. They pulled him up into the canoe. He lay in the bottom of the canoe and the women paddled back towards shore. When they reached the shore several of them grabbed Moe by the arms and yanked Moe out of the canoe and dragged him up onto the beach. Many other women had come down to the shore to witness the sight. They were yelling in a language unfamiliar to Moe. They carried spears and other weapons and Moe began to realize that they were hostile. One of them seemed to be in charge. She appeared to be yelling orders to the others. "She's extremely beautiful for a woman", Moe thought. She leaned over to have a closer look at Moe who was still too exhausted to stand up. Her large brown breast dangled in Moe's face. Suddenly, she pulled out a knife and cut the shirt right off of Moe. He began to fear for his life once again. "Are they going to kill me?", he thought. The woman in charge pointed the knife at Moe's crotch and then cut off Moe's pants. The women all began to yell what sounded like a war whoop. "Are they going to cut off my johnson?", he wondered. They grabbed Moe by the arms and lifted him to his feet. He was now wearing nothing but his hiking boots and socks. They bound his hands with some rope and led him into the jungle. Moments later he entered a clearing that had many grass huts. Here, they tied another rope around Moe's neck and they tied the other end to a post in the center of the village. The savage women gathered around and what seemed to be a great debate ensued. The chief seemed to be the one that the other women were directing their comments to. After several minutes, the talking stopped and the chief and the others turned their gaze upon Moe. Moe was full of worry as the women approached him. The chief grabbed Moe by the hair and yanked his head up. She stared straight into his eyes. Although she was attractive (for a woman), she was also very intimidating. She grabbed more of Moe's hair with the other hand and pulled Moe's head to her crotch. Moe was face to face with a savage pussy. She said some kind of a command and pulled harder on Moe's hair. Moe realized that she wanted oral sex from him. Fearing for his life, Moe began to perform the task he was faced with even though it was foreign to him. The chief began to moan and Moe realized that he must be doing something right because she relaxed her grip on his scalp. Finally, the chief tugged Moe's hair as she let out a long moan of ectasy and all the other female savages began to yell their war whoop. Moe had managed to spare his own life for the time being. The chief walked away from Moe and another woman took her place. It became evident to Moe that his task was not complete. Woman after woman took their turn with Moe. His tongue soon became raw. It went on for hours until, finally around sunset,the last of the savages had been satisfied. They left Moe tied to the stake while the women made dinner. They roasted the crocodile on the fire. One of the woman brought Moe a piece of crocodile meat. It tasted terrible, but Moe was so hungry, he ate it anyway. Moe slept on the ground that night. The following morning Moe was awakened by the sound of the women who seemed to be in a heightened state. He then noticed a small airplane circling overhead. Most of the women ran from the village down a path in the jungle. Several of the savage babes stayed behind to guard Moe. He could hear the airplane's engine as it disappeared below the tree line. About twenty minutes later, the women began to appear back in the village carrying boxes. Soon after Moe caught sight of the chief, who was accompanied by two white men with smiles on their faces. One of the men was speaking the native language of the tribe. The women seemed to be in a festive mood. Not long after, Moe heard the sound of drums. It seemed that some sort of ceremony was taking place. The men seemed to be offering the women gifts. The men came closer to the center of the village where Moe was bound to the stake. One of the men looked oddly familiar to Moe. The two approached Moe and looked at him. The translator spoke to the chief. They smiled. Suddenly it donned on Moe who the familiar looking grey haired man was. It was former president Bill Clinton. "Mr. President!", Moe blurted. He smiled and said, "No, but I get that a lot". Moe recognized his voice. This had to be Bill Clinton. "My name is Frank", he said, "Frank Wiener. Pleased to meet you." Moe knew the man was lying which made him even more sure that it was Clinton. He decided that he'd better not press the issue because these men may be his only chance at getting out of this predicament. "You've got yourself in quite a situation here", said Frank. "The ladies have big plans for you fella, you lucky dog.", he added."What do you mean?" asked Moe. "You are going to have more sex than any guy, other than me, could possibly imagine", Frank answered. "I can't do that!", shouted Moe. "Of course you can. These women are HOT! You have to satisfy them, or else", Frank advised. "Or else what?", Moe asked. "They'll kill you and cook you and eat you my friend", replied Frank. "You've got to get me out of here!", Moe pleaded. "I can't do that friend", said Frank. "It's a two seater airplane and we are about to load it up with rare plants that are to be used to cure Alzheimer disease. We can't jeopardize the mission", Frank informed him. "You don't understand", said Moe. "I've never had sex before, especially with a woman", explained Moe. "You're a VIRGIN?", Frank asked. "Yes, and besides that, I'm gay.", Moe replied. "Oh boy, you are in deep shit pal", Frank blurted. "You gotta HELP ME!", Moe begged. "I have something that I think may help you out of this jam", whispered Frank. "What?" asked Moe. Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of blue pills. "It's Viagra my friend!", quipped Frank. "You take a couple of these and you'll be able to do the entire tribe", Frank said. "Believe me, I know. I've done all these ladies thanks to these little blue pills", he told Moe. "But.....I'm GAY!", Moe cried. "Well think of some dude while you're doing up these horny native chicks.", Frank advised. "We have to be off friend. Just enjoy it." added Frank. He stuffed five pills in Moe's sock and then turned away. Down the path the two men went. Moe was left in a state of panic. Would this be the end for Moe? Could Moe rise to the occasion or would he end in a real stew? Find out in the next installment of The Pucking Files.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
One Moe Time!
It was a year ago that Moe sold his publishing empire to Mr. Moto and headed off to the island of Borneo in Indonesia to pursue a career as an etymologist. Reports had swirled not long after his departure that claimed that Moe's team of scientist had been attacked and killed by headhunters and Moe had been beheaded. A shrunken head had been recovered by some souvenir-merchants and sent back to London for examination. At first it had been confirmed that the head belonged to Moe, but weeks later that report had been discredited as being flawed. This was the story that had made world news after it was first reported by The Pucking Files. The reality, however, was far different. It was true that Moe and his team had been attacked in the jungles of Borneo, but, the attackers were not aboriginal cannibals. The attackers had been a branch of the radical Islamic group ISIS. It was a more radical branch known as ASSES (Arabic Secret Society of Extreme Soldiers). They systematically executed almost all of the members of Moe's scientific research team. They beheaded one of them and brought it to the local headhunters to shrink in order to pass it off as Moe's head. But why?, you might ask. This is where the story takes a twist. Moe was waiting to be executed along with his fellow scientist. He had been tied to a tree after being beaten and interrogated. While the terrorist were busy making a video of the beheading of Norwegian scientist Lars Uterus, Moe had managed to wiggle his hands free and he carefully went to work freeing himself from the tree to which he was bound. Just as the executor raised his sword to behead the unfortunate Norwegian, Moe made his break for it. Into the jungle he dashed. The members of ASSES were slow to take notice because they were distracted by the head of Lars that rolled onto the ground. This gave Moe the few extra seconds to gain a sizable lead on his his would-be-assasins who were soon in hot pursuit. The jungle was dense and it was difficult to see very far because of the foliage. Moe ran for hours, often falling in the tangle of vines and branches. The terrorist faced the same problems and could not gain on Moe whose skinny physique was an asset to getting through the jungle. He came across a river where he stopped to catch his breath. He could hear his captors in the distance and he knew that he had to get across the river or else he would be recaptured. Moe began to make his way across the muddy water. The river got deeper as he approached the middle and suddenly the raging current swept him in and he was helpless to get across. Down the raging river he was carried. Moe soon realized that it was the river which was now his greatest concern. Moe was dashed against boulders like a rag doll. Several times the current pulled him under. He tried desperately to grab ahold of a boulder, but the current was too strong and his scrawny arms were no match for the mighty current. He noticed that the sound of the rushing water had now turned into a roar as the brown waters had turned into white water rapids. Moe looked ahead. He became consumed with a greater sense of urgency when he realized that he was about to be pulled over a waterfall. In an instant Moe plummeted over the falls, but by the grace of God, Moe missed the boulders below and again he resurfaced with a new set of concerns before him. The river widened and flattened out below the falls. There were sandy beaches on either side. Unfortunately, the beaches were lined with crocodiles basking in the sun. As Moe floated past them, the crocs caught his scent and entered the water in pursuit of a fresh meal. The current had propelled Moe past most of the hungry reptiles, however, one particularly large croc had started to gain on him. Moe began swimming in order to try to distance himself from the beast, but the croc was determined not to let a meal get away. The gap between predator and prey narrowed and Moe began to grow more weary. Moe began to swallow water as the large reptile pulled to within a few inches of him. At that moment Moe stopped swimming and prepared for the inevitable gruesome death that awaited him. Suddenly...........(to be continued).
The Pucking Files will be bringing more of Moe's harrowing tale in the weeks and months ahead. Also ahead, find out who will be the new inductees into the Legends of Thursday Night Hall of Fame and find out what trades have occurred in the NAHL and the CCHL.
Monday, March 16, 2015
CCHL Playoffs, BWW Tops Cheers & Cimo's
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| 2015 CCHL Champs: Buffalo Wild Wings |
Semi final #2 proved to much more entertaining as Windmill and Cimo's slugged it out for over 80 minutes of action with the game going into double OT. In the end it was Ian Hamlet scoring off an offensive zone faceoff sending the fans into pandemonium and the Cimo's team back into the finals with a 4-3 victory. The game itself was a physical war with bodies strewn all over the ice and multiple players leaving the game due to injury, only to return to the frozen sheet minutes later.
Sunday's final pitted top seeded Buffalo Wild Wings against last year's Cinderella story Cimo's who were looking to prove that last year's run was no fluke. The game got off to a tough start for Cimo's as BWW's Laroche scored on the first BWW shot on net a mere 18 seconds into the game. A few minutes later after Cimo's peppered BWW goalie Tyler "Beans" Ingerson with shots looking to answer, it was Laroche scoring again on BWW's 2nd shot of the game. Cimo's would pull the game to 2-1 and then 4-2, but could not keep pace as BWW pulled away for a 7-3 victory and the CCHL Title. Laroche led the way for the winners with a 5 goal performance following up his hat trick in the semi finals and his regular season scoring title (55 goals). The championship was the first for Laroche after beginning his career under the Tim Walsh regime on Cheers, following last season's title loss he decided to test the free agency waters and landed with BWW and Travis Banga. The move seemed to pay dividends for Laroche and the Wings as it returned a title and Laroche's best individual season of his career. The 7th player award was also given to BWW forward and converted goaltender Corey Cotnoir who finished 5th in the scoring race after being selected in the 6th round. Top goaltender went to BWW rookie netminder Tyler Ingerson who posted a 4.90 GAA.
BWW Championship Roster:
Captain Travis Banga, Corey Laroche, Corey Cotnoir, Jack Mullen, Dillon Emerson, Danny Arndt, Bill MacDougall, Doug Troy, Matt Boudrais, Steve Arndt, Tyler Ingerson
NAHL: The Comeback
The Doug was packed to capacity and the place was rocking!
The NAHL fans were anticipating the Eastern Conference Final game 7 to be
a close, hard fought battle between Blue and Green, the two best teams in the
league. What transpired, however, was a lopsided high scoring game as
Green exploded for several goals during the first two periods and had Blue on
the ropes with an 11 to 6 lead with 6 minutes remaining in the game. The NAHL
faithful were not happy and vacated the Doug for the nearest bar to drown their
sorrows. The Blue squad tightened the bench and pounded out 6 goals to win the
game and the NAHL Eastern Championship by the final score of 12-11! The
“Comeback of the Century” was witnessed by 3 fans! With six minutes left in the
game Tom "TC" Carroll, Jeff
"Hurricane" Cain, Jim "Taz" Heath, Tom "Shemp"
Champagne and Mike "Little Cum" Commerford led the Blue charge to tie
the game and take the lead with 1 minute left. Green pulled their goalie, Ken
"Rebel without a Rebound" Dean, and a few strings, and put seven men
on the ice, but could not beat Ken "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley
to score the equalizer. Goal scorers for Blue were Tom "TC" Carroll
3, Mike "Little Cum" Commerford 3, Tom "Shemp"
Champagne 2, Jeff "Hurricane" Cain 2 and Jim "Taz" Heath 2.
Green got goals from Dave "The Younger Tilly" Tillotson 4, Todd
"Philby" Philbrick 2, Jim "The Younger* Farrelly 2, Chris
"Brownie" Brown 2 and Jim "Big Cum" Commerford 1.
In the NAHL Western Conference
Copper took the championship 2 games to 1 over Magenta by a 7-3 score.
The NAHL East and West Champs will
contend for the Moe Rudz Cup. The Championship dates have yet to be determined.
Friday, March 6, 2015
NAHL Game 6 Recap: Barn Burner
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| Game 7! |
Despite the cold bite in the air the Doug heated up Thursday
night as Blue and Green faced off in game 6 of the NAHL Eastern Conference Best
of 7 Championship in which Green held a three to two lead going into the game.
The teams played fast paced, solid, scoreless hockey for two periods. Blue took
the lead early in the third when Dunc
"Coach" Walsh lit the lamp on a twisted wrister that beat goalie Ken
"Rebel without a Rebound" Dean to the glove side and found the back
of the net. Green tied the game midway through the period on a slick passing
play at the crease from Dave "The Younger Tilly" Tillotson to Todd
"Philby" Philbrick that beat goalie Ken "Don't Ya Love Em
Madly" Bradley for the tap in. Later in the period Walsh knocked the puck
over the goal line in a tight scramble in front of the Green net that put Blue
in front 2-1 for his second goal of the game. Both goalies were sharp
throughout the game and Ken "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley was
tested often as Green tried desperately to tie the game.
Game 7 will be played next
Thursday at 9:30 PM at the Doug. Tickets will be on sale at the Doug Box Office
beginning Monday morning. League officials feel the game will be sold out by
noon!
In the NAHL Western Conference
Championship Magenta tied the Best of Three series at one with a 5-4 victory
over Copper.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Bruins Make Minor Additions as CCHL Approaches Postseason
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| Peter Chiarelli discussing how difficult his job is. |
Week 20 in the CCHL turned out to be a preview of things to come as the playoff pairings have now been set and the sure to be packed crowd should be in for quite a treat. In game number one it was Cimo's breaking away from Windmill en route to a 7-6 victory to lock up the #3 seed in the playoffs and will face #2 Windmill. Pat "Patty Boi" LaCasse paced the Cimo's offense with a pair of goals and Mick "The Prick" Mounsey's howitzer from the point late in the action proved to be the game winner. Windmill was led by Mike "Tricky Dick" Richard's pair of goals and now trails Corey "Corey" Laroche by 10 goals for the scoring title.
Game number two saw BWW pull away from Cheers for a 7-4 victory. Corey "The Other Corey" Cotnoir scored the games first and last goals and Dillon Emerson also added a pair for the victors. Cheers received goals from four different players including the Timinator and former BWW prospect and newly signed Cheers forward "Buckets" Marceau.
With one week remaining and the top four seeds in the playoffs locked up it will be interesting to see how the GM's approach the final week of the season and whether they choose to rest their star players to avoid injury or push forward and look to avoid rust.
Standings
W-L-T Pts GF GA GD
BWW 16-3-1 33 153 96 +57
Windmill 10-9-1 21 113 111 +2
Cimo's 7-13-0 14 94 136 -42
Cheers 5-13-2 12 89 105 -16
Scoring Leaders
Laroche 53
Richard 43
Walsh 42
Williamson 31
Cotnoir 25
Faretra 23
Arsenault 17
Pat Lacasse 17
J. Mullen 16
Monday, March 2, 2015
Rock and Roll
The Doug was rocking Thursday night as Game 5 of the NAHL
Eastern Conference Championships between Blue and Green turned out to be a
tight heated affair. Sticks and bodies were flying in and out of the rink. In a
close tight checking game Green edged Blue 8-7 on a late goal by Jim "Taz" Heath. Heath took a pass inside the
Blue end and fired a rocket that Ken "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley
blocked with his pad, but lost control and the always quick Heath jumped on the
rebound to knock in the game winner. Bradley made many great saves for Blue
throughout the game. Green called up Sean “F350” Ford from Concord PD to keep
the puck out of the net and he proved to be “Ford Tough” in gaining the win.
Green got goals from Clint "Eastwood" Cassavaugh(2), Dave
"The Younger Tilly" Tillotson (2), Andy "BTO" Bachman (2)
and Jeff "Hurricane" Cain (1). Blue scorers were Mike "Little
Cum" Commerford (4), Tom "TC" Carroll (2) and Tom
"Shemp" Champagne (1).
In Game 1 of the NAHL Western
Conference Championships Copper took a 1 game lead as they defeated Magenta 6-5
in their Best of Three series.
Friday, February 20, 2015
The Siberian Express
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| Trans-Siberian Express |
It may have been extremely frigid and windy outside the Doug
on Thursday night, but the action inside was hot and heavy. Blue jumped out to
a very early lead and cruised to a 8-4 victory to even the NAHL Eastern
Conference Final series with Green at 2 wins apiece. Blue got timely goals from
Clint "Eastwood" Cassavaugh (2), Andy
"BTO" Bachman (2), Tom "TC" Carroll (2), Jim "Big
Cum" Commerford (1) and Joe "Joe" Farrelly with a beauty from
the slot to seal the deal. Ken "Rebel without a Rebound" Dean was
steady in goal preserving Blue’s big win.
Green got single goals from Chris
"Brownie" Brown, Jim "Taz" Heath, Mike "Little
Cum" Commerford and George "Dumpin" Chase.
In the NAHL Western Conference
final Copper took a 1 game lead over Magenta with a 5-3 win.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Popped Groins & CCHL Plays Full Slate!
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| Re-enactment of Simpson's groin pop. |
That being said when this weeks slate of games began it was a debut to forget for Proulx as BWW hammered Cimo's by a score of 20-5. Corey "Corey" Laroche scored a league wide season high nine goals in the win as Corey "The Other Corey" Cotnoir added four with Jack "The Ripper" Mullen netting a hat trick. Both squads seemed to be shorthanded with Cimo's having 7 skaters to BWW's 8 which proved to be the difference in the blowout. In Tuesday's tilt it was a different story with Windmill squeaking by Cheers by a score of 3-2. Mike "Tricky Dick" Richard potted a pair for the 'Mill with Phil "The Whistle" Lacasse netting one as well. Cheers received goals from Captain Tim "Timinator" Walsh and JP Edes while Mark Crowley made many highlight reel saves between the pipes.
Standings
W L T PTS
BWW 13 3 1 27
Windmill 10 7 1 21
Cimo's 6 11 0 12
Cheers 4 12 2 10
*BWW Vs Cimo's Make up game re-scheduled for Friday, March 6th 9:45pm
Scoring Leaders
Laroche 51
Richard 38
Walsh 37
Williamson 30
Faretra 22
Cotnoir 22
Arsenault 17
J. Mullen 15
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
NAHL Playoffs/Blue Gets First Win!
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| Sean "F-350" Ford |
Blue jumped all over Green last night at the Doug to earn
its first win of the 2015 Playoffs 9-5. Blue brought up goalie Sean “F350” Ford
from the Concord PD club team and they were not disappointed in the young
goalie’s performance. Ford played his angles well and got some big help from
the goal pipes to hold off a late game Green surge. Blue was led by Tom "Philby" Philbrick with 3 goals, Tom
"TC" Carroll with 2 and Dan "Too Late" Earley with 2 one
timers at Ken "Rebel without a Rebound" Dean’s crease.
Green leads the series 2 games to
1. Game 4 next Thursday.
In other NAHL action Copper swept
Clear and Magenta swept Mauve to win their Western Conference series. Next week
Copper takes on Magenta in the best of three Western Final.
Friday, February 6, 2015
CCHL Battles the Elements While NAHL Rolls into Postseason
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| CCHL looking to offset costs by selling snow next season. |
In NAHL action the Alberta Clipper showed up at the “Doug” late Thursday afternoon and was mean enough to keep a large number of NAHL fans from leaving their warm homes to see game 1 of the playoffs between Blue and Green. The brave souls that did attend the game warmed up quickly as both teams lit the lamp early and often on the way to a Green 13-9 victory over Blue. Green Coach Tom "Painch" Painchaud moved his steady stay at home defenseman Jeff "Hurricane" Cain up to center the first line and the move paid instant dividends as Cain lit the lamp for 4 goals on the night. Jim "Big Cum" Commerford and Jim "Taz" Heath both added three 3 goals. Clint "Eastwood" Cassavaugh added 2 goals, but more importantly assisted on 8. Green was forced to bring up goaltender Zac “Gotcha” Guercia from the Manchester Monarchs to fill in for the ailing Ken "Rebel without a Rebound" Dean. Gerche didn’t disappoint as he made several key saves in preserving the Green lead. Blue scorers were led by Mike "Little Cum" Commerford with 3 goals and 30 shots on net, Todd "Philby" Philbrick with 3 and Andy "BTO" Bachman added 2.
In the NAHL Western playoffs
Copper jumped on Clear 6-2 and Magenta slipped by Mauve 5-3.
Friday, January 30, 2015
NAHL Puck Control
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| Bobby Orr demonstrates the TC Puck control move |
NAHL fans witnessed a very deliberately controlled game between Blue and Green in Week 14 action. Both teams demonstrated strong puck control as many plays were executed with five or six crisp, tape to tape passes. Shots on goal were at a season low and both goalies, Blue’s Ken "Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley and Green’s Ken "Rebel without a Rebound" Dean made several key saves to keep the scores down. Green prevailed by edging Blue 5-4. Green was led by Clint "Eastwood" Cassavaugh with the hat trick and Blue’s Tom "TC" Carroll scored a pair of roofers.
In other NAHL action a pair of ties determined the NAHL Playoff matchups. Magenta and Mauve played to a 2-2 tie and Copper and Clear ended a shootout at 6-6.
The Playoffs begin next week with the following matchups.
East
Blue vs Green (Best of Seven)
West
Copper vs Clear (Best of Three)
Magenta vs Mauve (Best of Three)
NAHL Final Regular Season Standings
Blue 6-5-2 14
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Copper 6-6-1 13
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Magenta 6-6-1 13
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Mauve 6-6-1 13
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Clear 6-6- 13
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Green 5-6-2 12
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Tuesday, January 20, 2015
NAHL Full House
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| Dunc "Coach" Walsh gears up for Black Ice 2015 |
The Doug was SRO Thursday night as fans anticipated a big
game between Blue and Green as the NAHL will be on break next week for the
fifth annual 1883 Black Ice Pond Hockey Championships. Green fans were
delighted as Green jumped to a commanding lead in the first period. Blue
fought hard and chipped away at the lead bringing the score to 8-5 early in the
third, but Green answered on the next shift. Dunc
"Coach" Walsh scored his first goal of the season for Blue as he
returned from severe off season knee surgery, to bring the score to 9-6. Dave
"The Younger Tilly" Tillotson scored for Green to stop the Blue
comeback. The game was action packed as both teams skated up and down the ice
making spectacular passing plays. Blue goalie Ken "Don't Ya Love Em
Madly" Bradley and Green goalie Ken "Rebel without a
Rebound" Dean both made many key saves throughout the game. Todd
"Philby" Philbrick led all scorers with 3 and Andy "BTO" Bachman
scored 2 for Blue. Mike "Little Cum" Commerford and Phil
"Commish" Stuart each scored 2 for Green.
In other NASL action Mauve doubled
up Copper 6-3 and Clear edged Magenta 5-3 on a late open net goal.
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Best of luck at Black Ice.
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See you all on the Pond
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Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Cheers Making Noise, BWW Trounces the 'Mill
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Monday, January 12, 2015
The Big Chill
The Alberta Clipper hit the Doug hard Thursday night, but it
didn’t stop the NAHL faithful from attending the Blue/Green game as the
screaming crowd witnessed a very fast paced competitive battle between the
cross town rivals! Green took an early lead in the first period and held on
through the second period as both teams traded goals. Blue got it together in
the third period and mounted a strong comeback led by Chris “Brownie” Brown who
scored two breakaway goals to tie the game and notched the game winner for the
hat trick as Blue defeated Breen 7-6 . Blue goalie Ken
"Don't Ya Love Em Madly" Bradley and Green goalie Ken "Rebel
without a Rebound" Dean were both solid between the pipes throughout the
contest.
In west coast NAHL action.
Magenta defeated Copper 4-2 and Clear slips by Mauve 4-3.
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Standings as of
1/08/15 Points
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Blue
6-3-2 14
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Copper
6-5-0 12
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Magenta
6-5-0 12
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Mauve
5-6-0 10
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Clear
5-6-0 10
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Green
3-6-2 8
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Thursday, January 8, 2015
The Pucking Files Returns From Holiday Break
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| Mendoza's All Star Game MVP Truck |
In this week's games it was Cimo's handling BWW 10-6 in a game where BWW sorely missed their leader on the blue line Doug Troy. Cimo's capitalized on the somber BWW squad by jumping out to a 4-0 lead and never looking back. Ryan "Flyin" Williamson led the way with a season high six goals on the depleted BWW defense core while Pat "Patty Boi" Lacasse chipped in two. For BWW it was Corey "Corey" Laroche leading the way with a four goal night to become the first to hit the 30 goal plateau this season.
In Tuesday's game Cheers and Windmill skated to a 4-4 tie as Cheers Captain Tim Walsh scored all four goals for his squad to tie Laroche atop the leaderboard. For the 'Mill "Tricky Dick" potted a pair of goals to also hit the 30 goal mark for a share of the lead. Windmill Captain and CCHL All-Star game no show, "You Betcha" Faretra was also absent in this matchup as he awaits an arbitration meeting with league officials on a few issues... More to come on this matter...
Standings
W L T PTS
BWW 9 3 0 18
Windmill 6 5 1 13
Cimo's 6 6 0 12
Cheers 2 9 1 5
Scoring Leaders
T1 Laroche 30
T1 Richard 30
T1 Walsh 30
4 Williamson 26
5 Faretra 18
6 Cotnoir 14
7 Arsenault 13
T8 Heath 11
T8 Pat Lacasse 11
10 Jack Mullen 10
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