The Vatican announced that Thursday Night Hockey is now an official Holy Institution. The Doug N. Everett Arena is now considered an official House of Worship by the Roman Catholic Church. The Pope spoke in front of a huge crowd in Vatican City about the decision. " I finda greata devotion by the players and fanzas on a Thursday Nighta that it a bringa me to tearza. I saya to mia thata God himselfa musta wisha he coulda playa on a thursday nighta. I watcha gamezas on a utuba and say to mia, Holy Cow, theze gizas are terrifico!" The Pope has blessed the water that will be used to flood the ice on the new concrete floor of "The Doug". The Pope also elevated Dave Masinick into Sainthood. Masinick is rumored to be buried under the concrete floor at the Doug. Saint Masinick will be known as the Patron Saint of No Show. So what has all this done for Thursday Nighters? Players will now be able to say in complete honesty that they are going to church on Thursday Night. This means that they don't have to go on Sunday but they are still eligible to get into Heaven. "Thatsa nice a!"
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