Mission Accomplished

A daring rescue mission to save Dunc "Coach" Walsh and the Farrelly brothers led by Jim "Purple" Haze and Tom "Shemp" Champagne along with a team of Navy Seals suceeded in freeing the three hockey stars from certain death at the hands of headhunters.

The team from the Legends of New Hampshire Hockey Committee knew that they had to act quickly because the 2011 Induction Ceremony was coming up on October 30th and "Coach" Walsh is one of the inductees. "Dunc needs to be there; he's the main attraction", said Hayes. "Let's face it", said Shemp, "People aren't going there to see Dana Barbin; they are there to see Ryan Brandt and "Coach" Walsh". Haze made a few phone calls to Washington and President Obama agreed that without Walsh at the ceremony it might only deepen the economic crisis in this country. He gave Haze a team of Navy Seals to help with the rescue effort. Based on descriptions from "Hernia" and "the Kaiser", the location of the island was pinpointed using mapquest. Just before dawn they stormed the island of Rhumboogie and a fire fight broke out which left numerous head hunters dead and one Navy Seal wounded.

"We were lucky, very lucky", said Joe "Joe" Farrelly. "We would have been dead days ago except for two things that prolonged our demise. One was that we had lost so much weight from starvation that they were trying to fatten us up on coconuts and crabmeat before they were to eat us. And secondly, they had to mail order a larger pot to boil Dunc's head in order to shrink it. These guys pride themselves on their collection of shrunken heads and they weren't about to let Dunc ruin that for them." "That bought us some time", added Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly. " I was going to get the last laugh because when they tried to boil my fake hip in their stew it would have tasted like plastic". When Ryan Brandt recieved the call that the rescue was a success, he breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he wouldn't have to carry the entire burden of entertaining the crowd on October 30th. " I don't know if my heart could handle that kind of stress", he said. "Thank God for Hazy and Shemp. Those guys are true American heroes!" The media gathered around the three survivors and pressed them for details of their story. Walsh said it best when he told the reporters, "Listen people, I just want to get back to my life and play some good solid two-way hockey on Thursday Nights. I know I speak for all of us when I say that all we want to do is bring a championship to the Capitol City for our fans. After all, isn't that what everyone wants?"