The International Search & Rescue Administration has called off any further search efforts for any more survivors of the Duke of Lancaster. Ivan Gerkinov the head of Search & Rescue held a press conference to make the announcement. He said, " It is highly unlikely that anyone is still alive since the prevailing currents would have placed any remaining survivors in the shark infested waters of the Bermuda Triangle." He went on to say, "We have done all that we could and I'm sorry to inform the family, friends, and fans of Thursday Night Hockey that they should accept the possibility of never seeing the six missing players again." Officials from Thursday Night Hockey have already started to plan for a memorial service at "The Doug" on Oct.6th.
. The Player's Union is scrambling to find a new person to replace Joe "Joe" Farrelly as it's president. Concord High Hockey team has already named Jeff "Kano" Kane as the new head coach and Germany is holding an election to pick a new Kaiser to replace Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies. The Pope held a special mass at the Vatican today to honor the fallen six: Joe "Joe" Farrelly, Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly, Mark "the other Rudz" Rudz, Greg "Hernia" Fournier, Dunc "Coach" Walsh and Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies. The Pope who is a huge hockey fan spoke before a somber crowd in Vatican City. He referred to lost players as the "Silver Six" and said that "they are now playing for God's team. In Heaven they will always go top shelf".
I blame the Obama administation for not finding the "silver six". Teddy Roosevelt would have personally gone out looking for them and probably caught some tuna also.
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