Stranger Than Fiction!

When reports of UFOs first came from the mouths of two shipwrecked survivors who were on the brink of death it was shrugged off as "crazy talk" resulting from starvation. Twenty four hours later, Greg "Hernia" Fournier and Kurt "Kaiser" Gillies are sticking to their story and they have the photo to prove it. Officials from the United States Air Force interviewed the two and they too are now convinced that there is some credibility to their story which lives up to saying, "Sometimes life is stranger than fiction". Hernia's cell phone was taken to the Pentagon where a photo was retrieved from the memory even though the phone was ruined from sea water. The photo shows an object that looks like a flying saucer. The Pucking Files interviewed the two and heard a story so amazing that Paramont Pictures has already offered the two a large undisclosed sum of money for the rights to the story. The two gave the Pucking Files seperate interviews from their hospital beds and both stories were exactly the same. They spoke about a monster wave that capsized the Duke of Lancaster and left them swimming for their lives and clinging to a life raft along with Mark Rudz. They drifted for many days and yet they managed to stay near another raft that they said was carrying The Farrelly Brothers and Dunc "Coach" Walsh. "We finally spotted land after many days. There was some small islands covered in palms and we did our best to steer towards them", said Kaiser Gillies. "The raft with Dunc and the Farrelly's was about two hundred yards closer to the beach than we were. We saw them go ashore, but our joy suddenly turned to panic when we saw them being attacked by what looked like head hunters. They were taken off into the jungle and that was the last we saw of them", Kaiser added. "We stayed clear of the islands after that", said Hernia. "We wanted food, we didn't want to BE food!" "We drifted away from land again. We began to notice large sharks swimming around our raft. At that point I remember thinking, what else can go wrong?", quipped Kaiser. " Suddenly I saw Rudz point up and say, "What the hell is that?" to which Hernia replied that it looks like a UFO. The object drew closer until it became clear that the strange flying craft was headed directly towards us. Hernia pulled out his cell phone. It had no service but, he pointed the phone and clicked. There was no way of telling if the camera was working. Soon the flying saucer was hovering directly above us. A bright beam of light shot upon us and suddenly Rudz dematerialized and then the space ship flew off at an incredible speed. In seconds it had flown out of sight. We were stunned to say the least", said Kaiser.

"The next few days left us in complete despair", said Hernia. "The Kaiser began drinking sea water even though I told him not to. Just before the cargo ship Rummey picked us up, the Kaiser was ranting and raving about Eva Braun and prairie dogs." I began to realize that he had lost his mind.
The Air Force has asked anyone who has any information about UFO sightings on September 23rd to report it immediately. Moe Rudz has offered a reward of two season tickets for Thursday Night Hockey to anyone with information that leads to the recovery of his brother Mark and/or Dunc "Coach" Walsh and the Farrelly brothers. "Friends of Concord High Hockey" has offered a CHS Hockey sweatshirt to anyone who provides information that leads to the recovery of "Coach" Walsh. Atrex Worldwide has offered a pair of orthodics to information leading to the recovery of Mike "Hipshake" Farrelly. The Shoe Barn in Tilton has offered 50% off on any pair of shoes for information leading to the recovery of Joe "Joe" Farrelly.